wifeindespair Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 I will be celebrating my one year anniversary in Sept. I don't know what to do or how to handle this. My husband has no desire for me whatsoever it seems. I dated my husband for about 6 months and then we got married. At the beginning he was wonderful...perfect. He couldnt get enough of me and visa versa. Then it went to the normal 2-3 times a week, no complaint here. Right before we got married I had an infection (which I hate to admit) a yeast infection due to a very sugary lubrication. Well he got it as well, and he didnt say anything about it but then it started hurting him to be intimate but then got it taken care of. It changed all right there. After that it has gone down to once a month or less. This was the month after we got married when I started noticing this, so total 7 months together. He wants to have kids desperately as well but is not doing anything about it. We had a talk about it about 2 months ago finally. He finally addressed it and I said I would be patient, because he asked for 2 weeks to do something about it. Keep in mind we have only been together for 1 year and 5 months to date. Nothing has changed. Maybe age is a factor, Im in my 20's, he is in his 40's, but in great shape. We fight so much more now and I am on the verge of just breaking down. I have tried the whole romantic thing, the "lets just get to it" technique and nothing!! I need advice, I do love him dearly and he is aware that divorce is an option to consider if this does not change. I dont want to but I feel I am to young to feel like I have been married for 30 years with no sex. Sorry please any help or advice would suffice. Link to post Share on other sites
delajoonal Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 hi wife.... sorry to hear so many issues already...geesh, men..right... anyway, i m not sure of what type of response you will get here in the separation forum... LoveShack does provide many for all kinds of topics... i am thinking, if you don't get any advice here or what you are in search of, go to the other forum called: [COLOR=#660000]Sexual & Reproductive Health and Practices[/COLOR] its in the list of what LoveShack has to offer, i read a few posts there, and it seems THAT one might be right up your alley? but this is a difficult one..cause it is kinda both subjects... i would copy paste your thread in the one above as well..and see what you get? again..sorry to hear about the problems in just your first year... i think it might be more common tho, then people want to admit, that sex tends to slow down after the 'i do's'??? well, i would say, read around, lurk in ALL the forums about realtionships and see what you can find...i promise, there is something on LS that you can connect with;) hope you keep posting and good luck.. Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 Hi That must be difficult that you both have such different sex drives. You're in your early 30's also, which means you are probably hitting your sexual peak, so your drive is going to be so much higher as a result. Marriage has all sorts of problems that a couple has to work through, it's the commitment that you made to each other that gets you through. Communication, communication, communication!!! You have already talked, which is good and you mentioned that sex was painful for him after he got your yeast infection. Perhaps this has caused him to be anxious about sex? I would suggset you sit down and have another calm discussion about all this and also if he is happy with what happens in your sex life? If all that fails again, then it might be an idea to find a good relationship counsellor who specialises in sex therapy. Like I said, marriage takes work, nothing worth having was ever gotten easily! You love him, he loves you, YOU CAN WORK THIS OUT! The fact you are on here asking for advice speaks volumes about how much you value your marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
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