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Separation and Divorce Considering ending your marriage? Going through a divorce? Let us know!

Old 14th February 2003, 12:35 PM   #1
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Question I'm confused

OK, I'm 51, and my first and only wife of 13 years is absolutely gorgeous, long dark brunette, 36 d, and the face of a model. After a 2 year separation. ( that we stayed in touch constantly) I would drive 400 miles once a month to see her..to make this short, she is 45,and has been seeing a guy 28, ( a hunk), we have alway been very open with each other and her stories with this guy drive me crazy. She is all lady, and her stories of 3 and four hours with this young guy make ma crazy. Am I crazy ? She told me she would grab the head board to the bed to keep it from slamming against the wall when she is on top. we are back together again and it's like new. But her stories about her early morning sex with this guy make me feel,,,,,,,,,25 again. I can only imagine how this guy must feel, to be with her would be a mans dream, she said they did everything in bed to-gather, .I got details, because I ask for them. .why am I so turned on, I use to be very jealous when I was youngest not anymore,........mainly because she is only human.

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Old 14th February 2003, 12:46 PM   #2
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So what are you looking for here? Your post sounds like you're pretty happy.

I think it's real sick for your wife to give you such a description of her sexcapades while you and she were separated. But if you get off on hearing that stuff, God bless you.

Frankly, I don't think you're turned on at all. I think subconsciously your angry and sick. There are words to describe this syndrome in psychology but to cut it short here, just don't fool yourself about how you feel. There is simply know man who can feel happy about his wife screwing some young guy's brains our for four hours.

Just work things out and try to make your marrage work.

I also very much think your wife exaggerated things to try to piss you off...maybe you're not acting pissed because you know this. She may not have been with a guy at all. Does she have video to prove it.

This is all pretty sick. When I was little, I thought human beings were above this type of behavior.
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Old 15th February 2003, 3:51 AM   #3
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maybe you've gotta a biological competitive thing going on. those stories motivate you because in your eyes they create value for your woman?

maybe, because he was a kid, u don't consider him competition at all and so don't feel threatened?
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Old 21st February 2003, 11:25 AM   #4
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whyamiturnedon

Sorry to say I think you are sick and a disgusting pervert.

You are having disgusting sexual fantasies about your wife sleeping with someone else.

If you truly loved her, you would have been angry and very hurt about what she has told you and would find it very hard to forgive her of what she did.

She sounds just as sick as you do. If she really loved you would she tell you stories that would hurt you.

It sounds like you both deserve each other. I just hope I never meet anyone like you or like her.
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Old 21st February 2003, 12:07 PM   #5
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Maybe....

Maybe it's bc you get off knowing that ANY man would love to have her, yet you got her back, even with the sexcapades as intense and incredible as possible. I think its an ego trip for YOU and THAT'S why you ask as many details as possible.

Is it right or wrong? I don't think its wrong, as long as you keep your saniety in check.

My ex boyfriend was so sexy, looked like Rickey Martin, and I used to get off on the fact that he was so sexy, and living with me, and doing things sexually that there is no way he'd be doing with anyone else...even though I knew he was cheating on me, it still in some sick way made me feel powerful, bc they didn't have EVERYTHING that I got from him. (Although, who really says he didn't do those things with them too, ya know?) The relationship was unhealthy, and thank God I wised up and got out.

Only you know how healthy your relationship is outside of sex, but I see the potential of this being taken farther....and you two becoming swingers.

Just remember that sex is NOT the MOST important thing in your relationship...the relationship itself is.
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Old 22nd February 2003, 2:43 AM   #6
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i disagree with percy. i'm not into the kind of stuff you are, but i've been humbled enough, when i thought i knew everything, to know that i don't know everything.

seems like you guys missed the boat most of us want or think we want: true love, best friends, always true to each other, content.
having missed that boat, why not just be glad SOMETHING turns you on, rather than try to judge whatever it is? or, hell i dunno.
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Old 26th February 2003, 9:05 PM   #7
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Well, You Asked

I think what turned you on was knowing someone other than you were sexually attracted to your wife. And not just sexually attracted, but sexually into your wife enough where they were supposedly going on for hours at it. The fact that your wife mentioned she was on top may have aroused you sexually because it meant your wife had something "sexually" going on enough to hold this young guy down for such along time, and you wanted some of that. Well, I'm glad the both of you are back
together, but if you're only back together because of great sex, you might want to question that.
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Old 18th March 2003, 8:03 AM   #8
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Shallow people belong with shallow people.Bitter people belong with bitter people.Kind-hearted people belong with kind-hearted people.Spiritual people belong with spiritual people.

Opposites attract and similarities create the bond.

People will always be happy together when they find other people who are on the same level as themselves-no matter what that level is...or how healthy or unhealthy that level is in whoevers eyes.
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