Seperated after affair, wife swears NC but refuses to prove it

[phineas]

We talked divorce after I discovered her sending nude pictures to OM.

She was messed up in the head. Thought I didn't want to see that from her & sent them to him.

 

Now she constantly sends them to me on phone wondering if I like.

She wants to spend time with me & wants to have sex but doesn't want to move back home.

 

She says she needs her space & we still argue too much.

 

We argue because after promising me she would be an open book she changed her mind after moving out saying that's her private stuff.

 

She won't show me her phone records because she claims it's her bill & she's not asking me to pay it.

 

but still swears she has nothing to hide.

She used her phone & e-mail to comunicate with OM.

 

I have told her every time she claimed nothing was going on or she wasn't talking to him I found out she was lieing.

 

I told her i'm not going to be stupid this time & just assume he is out of her life.

She says he is, she ackowledges he did try to ruin our marriage & ackowledges a good person who claims he has a GF he loves wouldn't of asked a married woman for nude pics, but will only say he complicated her life & can't be in it if she wants to be happy with me & says she hopes he is happy in his life with GF.

 

Am I wrong in thinking this isn't good enough for me?

I want to hear he is gone for me. Not because having an affair was too much trouble for her.

 

We also argue because she has become very irresponcible lately.

One night we made plans to watch a movie at my place for 6. At 9:30 she called to say she lost track of time.

 

She was going to dinner with a GF & doing a girls only thing that turned into her GF's friends showing up (including men). She told me when she got to my place but I couldn't go because it was a girls night & when it changed she should of called me knowing she was supposed to come over.

 

We argued because she fell off the grid when she was supposed to come over another night & finally called me back at 1:30 am telling me she had been in the bathroom all night & didn't check her cell phone.

 

We argued because she went out one night, got so drunk she had to driven home by someone, passed out & never called me at all.

 

She was supposed to pick up the kids that morning because I had work & after calling her multiple times without an answer I loaded up the kids & saw her car wasn't in the parking lot.

 

I went inside & her apartment door was a jar!

She was passed out in bed (alone) & had no idea what was going on.

I tried not to argue because of that because I was very late for work by then.

 

She get's upset when I ask her to let me know where she is going & who she is with & if those plans change let me know. She thinks it's because I want to make sure she isn't still cheating on me. Wrong. She can lie to me & I wouldn't know.

 

It's because I need to be able to reach her or the people she in case there is an emergency.

 

I don't think that is too much to ask for either.

 

It's been two months since she moved out & decided she didn't want a divorce.

 

She doesn't plan on moving back any time soon until she is sure we can get along.

 

honestly, she knows what she did but every time I bring up the fact she hasn't done what she promised ( shown me proof NC remains) she claims it won't be enoguh for me & that I won't get passed it.

 

I discovered her send pictures to this man the day before easter.

I personally think i'd be stupid not to want proof 2 months later.

 

She says she will show me. I ask her when & her responce is "i'm not going to just invite you over so you can go into my computer & look at my stuff"

 

WTF?!?!

 

We also stopped going to MC because she can't afford her half & doesn't want to make me pay for it. She also didn't like the fact that MC told her it may take yrs for me to fully trust her again & that he only said that to keep hi pockets lined with yrs of therapy.

 

I feel like she is trying to run me in circles.

 

Every time I bring it up she gets extreamly pissed & swears her innocense & claims i'll never trust again.ect.

 

As of now, i've told her until she gives me that proof (like she promised) I don't want to have any contact with her unless it deals with the kids.

 

am I being crazy wanting this from her.

 

I truely do want to work this out.

I don't care how many nude pictures she sends me or how often she wants to have sex or how much time she wants to spend with me.

 

Why can't she do just a simple thing like showing me her phone records for the last few months to prove his number or no new numbers show up?

 

The thing is I don't trust her any more. I want to but her going out with friends whenever it's my turn to watch the kids & her wanting to spend time when it's supposed to be my night without the kids irks me.

 

It's almost as if she is afraid i'll go out & do something with someone because she has mentioned many times she knows I have "options" I tell her I don't as long as she is maintaining NC & she claims she is but still won't show me her phone records.

 

She also hasn't made me a friend on facebook like I asked nor added her married name to facebook like I asked many times & she promised she would.

 

She also promised to delete the Gmail account she used to cantact OM but hasn't claiming she talks to other friends with G-chat (this is true & I know them) but it takes 5 mins. to create a new account & re-add the two people she chats with.

 

Wouldn't you think she would do these things for me or am I asking too much?

 

Is this parranoia normal 2 months after finding the truth about an affair?

Or is this a "if it walks like a duck...." situation?

 

sorry for rambling.

[mard40]

She won't show you her phone bill, etc, because she knows you won't like what you see. Yes, it is most definitely a duck.

 

Let me ask you this... Aren't you getting tired chasing her around trying to police her behavior? My advice... Try to detach from her drama, start living your own life and take care of your kids the best you can. Just stop worrying about what she's doing. You know what she's up to, do you really need the details? Maybe she'll go crazy for awhile and get it all out of her system, who knows?

 

I'm not sure how you'd ever trust her again after all these shenanigans. I'd serve her some divorce papers and reclaim my sanity.

[phineas]

In my state, I have to go through one yr of separation before I can file. Right now I have kept her affair a secret from our mutual friends because she said she doesn't want it screwing things up for us. I agreed as long as he was out of the picture & she showed she wanted to fix things. She isn't showing that. I suppose I can tell her if she doesn't pony up the phone bill & prove he's gone i'll nuke her. She won't like that, but since I can't drop divorce papers on her now it's the only thing I got to show her i'm serious. Of course I'm guessing I won't ever see it because what I suspect is true.

[mard40]

Let me try this again. Don't worry about looking at her phone bill. She's going to do whatever she wants to do anyway and there is nothing you can do about it. You can't control her at all. The only person you can control is yourself. Work on yourself.

 

Don't worry about chasing her around trying to find out what she's doing. She'll only get more creative trying to hide things from you. She's confused right now. She doesn't really know what she wants, so she is trying to keep all of her options open. You being her fall back option in case her wonderful new life doesn't pan out.

 

Try to ignore her drama. She'll probably respect you more for it.

[mark982]

of course she don't want you to tell everyone.wouldn't want people to think she was a ho now,. would we? quit letting her run your life. how can she respect someone who chases after her w/ their tail between their legs.quit chasing,calling,BEGGING,come on man,reach down and grab a set. you know what needs to be done, just do it.

[seibert253]

Stop pursuing her. Start the 180 now. Go NC or LC. Don't answer her calls or texts, let her start wondering what you are doing, where you are at.

When you finally do get a chance to talk let her know you do not trust her, you do not believe her, and she's done nothing to PROVE or TRY to regain your trust. Therefore maybe it's better you part ways and move on.

You need to man up and let her know you're not going to put up with her sh#t anymore. If she wants you back, she's gonna have to earn it.

[Gunny376]

Were it me? She would have thought I feel off the planet? Don't have any contact with her except about the children, and then keep it short and business like. When she starts asking probing questions? (She will) tell her,.............

 

let her know you do not trust her, you do not believe her, and she's done nothing to PROVE or TRY to regain your trust. Therefore maybe it's better you part ways and move on.

 

Meanwhile? You don't ask her anything about her, her life, her work. Zilch, nothing, nadda.

 

Meanwhile I would be getting documentation to prove about her 'drinking' and seek to limit visitation to supervised, while seeking temporary full custody.

 

If she's drinking to the point of needing to be driven home, passing out with the front door open, she's hasn't any business with the children. What happens when one of them need to go the ER, and she's to drunk to drive them. Or has been drinking under the influence?

 

Where did you get it in your head that this is the best that you deserve and all that you can get?

[LakesideDream]

Time to Butch Up and call it quits. Just stop contacting her, and begin refusing her attempts at contact. I'll bet you are amazed at the world of crap she surrounds herself with.

 

IMO your only hope is to shock her into sensibiility, if it doesen't work, you've lost nothing. If it does work, frankly you've gained nothing. You have a life of sadness with her ahead.

 

Think about what you really want. The start earning it.

[Gunny376]

Time to Butch Up and call it quits. Just stop contacting her, and begin refusing her attempts at contact. I'll bet you are amazed at the world of crap she surrounds herself with.

 

IMO your only hope is to shock her into sensibiility, if it doesen't work, you've lost nothing. If it does work, frankly you've gained nothing. You have a life of sadness with her ahead.

 

Think about what you really want. The start earning it.

 

Truer words have never been spoken!

 

Don't waste some of the best years of your life and youth on this woman!

 

Its just simply not worth it!

 

Your self confidence, dignity, self respect, peace of mind, and personal happiness you can get back. Your youth and the lost days of your life? You cannot!

[lkjh]

Man up. Expose the affair and stop chasing her. You are disrespecting yourself by allowing her to treat you this way. Why do you even want her back? What qualities about her do you like?

[Gunny376]

Time to Butch Up and call it quits. Just stop contacting her, and begin refusing her attempts at contact. I'll bet you are amazed at the world of crap she surrounds herself with.

 

IMO your only hope is to shock her into sensibility, if it doesn't work, you've lost nothing. If it does work, frankly you've gained nothing. You have a life of sadness with her ahead.

 

Think about what you really want. Then start earning it.

 

I cannot comment enough about this!

 

Lakeside are 'long in the tooth' and have seen many a trial and tribulation!

 

Take a couple of 'old fools' advice and just let her go!

 

Mind you though?

 

You don't get to be old being a 'fool!"

 

You go 'submarine Arctic' cold on her? She'll go 'nuts' with worry! Not about you! But about her emotional connection with you!

 

I learned this by happenstance?

 

I was going through a bad spell with my PTSD? (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome)

 

I shut down to any and everyone. I was 'caving' ~ in that I crawled in my mental/ emotional cave of my mind, shut the phones off, shut off the Internet, etc.

 

Lasted for six months. DD and DS couldn't even contact me! Shut any and everyone out! My boss got all over me and told me to get a cell phone! Only way he could contact me was through e-mail!

 

Mentally? Emotionally? I was on the back forty burning wood in a 55 gallon drum with just me and an old dog.

 

The then LDR ~ GF went NUTS!

 

She had the law knocking on my door to check on me? WTF?

 

I'm not crazy?

 

I'm just a retired United States Marine Gunny, that has PTSD, who withdrawals and goes on the "Back Forty" sometimes and needs sometime to myself alone, with a couple of beers, (OK and maybe a fifth of Scotch) and the company of a good dog.

 

But the fact of the matter is?

 

1. Life is short! Get your @zz busy living! Or get your @zz busy dying!

 

2. Pain? Pain is but weakness leaving the body!

 

3. Whatever you are? Whatever you've got? You've got more than some and less than others.

 

4 There's always going to be someone better looking, smarter, richer than you are! And there's always going to be someone uglier, dumber, and poorer than you are!

 

5. Most people are about as happy as they make their minds up to be!

 

6. Whatever the mind of man can conceive? The mind of man can achieve!

 

7. What you choose to believe, you choose think! What you choose to think? Is what you choose to believe!

 

8. What you choose to think? Is what you choose to believe! What you choose to believe? You become! Eithe way? Your right!

[seibert253]

Submarine Artic Cold. TFF Gunny. Gotta remember that one.

[phineas]

so, her brother calls me & tells me to stop being an a-hole to her. He apparently had no idea what was fully going on. When he asked her She just told him she got to close to a male friend. Then deflected onto me & my ignoring her as an excuse. Her brother just got out of the marriage from hell. I explained to him in great detail about her affair & what I caught her doing. He changed his tone. He didn't believe his sister could do that. (join the club) then I asked him "why would I make that up? then she called all pissed after her brother reamed her out & after she was done yelling I just told her in a calm voice that If we don't talk then we can't argue & it's probably best to only communicate about the kids & only if necessary. I guess it's time to see if I can do that. I'm really pissed at her now so that will help. Gunny - burning barrel on the back 40 actually sounds nice. I've got a yard that needs tilling, rocks raked out & a lawn planted. that'll probably do.

[mark982]

now you got the ball rolling,good job.

[Owl]

Plan B, Phineas.

 

Read up on it over on the marriagebuilders site.

 

Give her clear, concise reasons why you no longer want contact with her (you love her, but her actions and comments right now are draining that love out of you, and you want to protect what's left), that you're willing to reconcile with her, but it's on HER to make the changes needed to let her back into your life again.

 

Spell out those changes clearly ("open book" honesty, ending her partying with her friends, marriage counseling, etc...).

 

And inform her that until she decides to work on your relationship, until she implements those changes (not when she wants to talk about them, but when she's already implemented them), there will be NO further contact between the two of you other than what is absolutely required for the welfare of the children.

 

And then BLOCK her butt from your life. Block her email/IM/cell phone calls. Come up with a plan to exchange the children that doesn't require the two of you to meet face to face (neutral third party, like a daycare, or family member's house).

 

Use a notebook passed along with the kids to exchange notes for their welfare. Have someone act as a third party filter to prevent her from contacting you about anything OTHER than an emergency or for the welfare of the children.

 

Let her see what life without you is like.

[LisaUk]

 

As of now, i've told her until she gives me that proof (like she promised) I don't want to have any contact with her unless it deals with the kids.

 

am I being crazy wanting this from her.

 

 

Why can't she do just a simple thing like showing me her phone records for the last few months to prove his number or no new numbers show up?

 

My situation is a bit different to yours, but during my seperation agreement being drawn up, my lawyer told me either I needed to see all bank statements for both joint and sole accounts of my ex or she would need to obtain full fianacial disclosure. My ex freaked. I couldn't understand why, eventually he confessed and bought round the statements, turned out he had moved all our joint savings out of our online acount into another new account in his sole name without my knowledge. I would never have thought it possible of him, but there it was, plain as day. If she won't show you the phone records, my guess is she has something to hide. However, that's just my guess, perhaps she is just being difficult to spite you. Either way she's not being very pleasant is she?

[phineas]

My situation is a bit different to yours, but during my seperation agreement being drawn up, my lawyer told me either I needed to see all bank statements for both joint and sole accounts of my ex or she would need to obtain full fianacial disclosure. My ex freaked. I couldn't understand why, eventually he confessed and bought round the statements, turned out he had moved all our joint savings out of our online acount into another new account in his sole name without my knowledge. I would never have thought it possible of him, but there it was, plain as day. If she won't show you the phone records, my guess is she has something to hide. However, that's just my guess, perhaps she is just being difficult to spite you. Either way she's not being very pleasant is she?

 

She has.......issues.

She most certainly is suffering from some kind of mental issues.

The MC said so & her father said so but she refuses to actually go see anyone.

 

Actually, her father told me she is acting the same way her mother acted before meds. She refuses meds because her mother was a "zombie" & she won't be a zombie.

 

An example of what I was dealing with was she claimed my sister want's to replace her as mother to my oldest yet my youngest is God child to my sister & my wife wants them to spend more time together to bond. HUH?

 

If she's pissed she still blames me for her affair.

She says if I hadn't disconected from her she wouldn't of sought attention from someone else & if people found out it would make me look bad because I drove her into the arms of another man.

I ask her if she somehow didn't know the difference between right & wrong & she claims he started out as just a friend.

 

Then I ask if that were true why did she keep him a secret?

 

That's when the meltdown comes & she starts screaming & yelling.

 

Everything the MC said she blotted out apparantly.

 

She insists were apart because we argue too much & need space.

No, were apart because she lied & lied & lied to me & I caught her sending nude photo's & videos to another man.

 

when I told her "plan B" she actually started acting like she was the one that instigated NC & told me when I can learn to deal with my trust issues & stop thinking the worst of her because she goes out with friends & doesn't tell me I can call her.

WTF?

 

I stopped talking to her Sat. it's tuesday & cell phone is jammed with VM's & texts. In between her invented reasons to contact me concerning the kids are "I love you's" & "i'm not a bad person" & "I know I screwed up" & "I don't want anyone else but you" & "he's gone, I know he was trying to use our marriage troubles to his advantage" & " I know were in this situation because of me" ect. basically admiting to everything wrong she did. And the crying. Asking me to call her to let her know i'm ok.

 

I only responded once & only talked about one subject & made it as concise as possible.

And that was my children's birthdays. Their both in the same week.

I told her i'm having the family over for their birthday party & she is invited.

 

That's the last weekend of Aug.

I hope not to spend any time other than pick ups & drop offs of children.

There are no nuetral places except her father's.

Maybe my sister's.

 

It depends if it's a "my sister hates her day" or not. doesn't matter at all that she hasn't even seen or spoken to my sister in over 3 months at all.

[seibert253]

She has.......issues.

She most certainly is suffering from some kind of mental issues.

The MC said so & her father said so but she refuses to actually go see anyone.

 

Actually, her father told me she is acting the same way her mother acted before meds. She refuses meds because her mother was a "zombie" & she won't be a zombie.

 

An example of what I was dealing with was she claimed my sister want's to replace her as mother to my oldest yet my youngest is God child to my sister & my wife wants them to spend more time together to bond. HUH?

 

If she's pissed she still blames me for her affair.

She says if I hadn't disconected from her she wouldn't of sought attention from someone else & if people found out it would make me look bad because I drove her into the arms of another man.

I ask her if she somehow didn't know the difference between right & wrong & she claims he started out as just a friend.

 

Then I ask if that were true why did she keep him a secret?

 

That's when the meltdown comes & she starts screaming & yelling.

 

Everything the MC said she blotted out apparantly.

 

She insists were apart because we argue too much & need space.

No, were apart because she lied & lied & lied to me & I caught her sending nude photo's & videos to another man.

 

when I told her "plan B" she actually started acting like she was the one that instigated NC & told me when I can learn to deal with my trust issues & stop thinking the worst of her because she goes out with friends & doesn't tell me I can call her.

WTF?

 

I stopped talking to her Sat. it's tuesday & cell phone is jammed with VM's & texts. In between her invented reasons to contact me concerning the kids are "I love you's" & "i'm not a bad person" & "I know I screwed up" & "I don't want anyone else but you" & "he's gone, I know he was trying to use our marriage troubles to his advantage" & " I know were in this situation because of me" ect. basically admiting to everything wrong she did. And the crying. Asking me to call her to let her know i'm ok.

 

I only responded once & only talked about one subject & made it as concise as possible.

And that was my children's birthdays. Their both in the same week.

I told her i'm having the family over for their birthday party & she is invited.

 

That's the last weekend of Aug.

I hope not to spend any time other than pick ups & drop offs of children.

There are no nuetral places except her father's.

Maybe my sister's.

 

It depends if it's a "my sister hates her day" or not. doesn't matter at all that she hasn't even seen or spoken to my sister in over 3 months at all.

 

PH, dude, I hate to be so blunt, but man she's nuts. I know you love her but man, you will be so better off without her. You don't need this sh#t, you deserve much better.

[phineas]

so, the OM's "crazy" ex-GF called me. apparantly they broke up because of my wife. She had been spending a lot of time with him at her expense & they broke up. My wife denies all of it & says this GF is crazy. Yet her dates when OM spent time with my wife over her match up perfectly to the dates she went off the grid. Wife now wants a divorce. Swears she was never with him. ect. it's over. she's getting a lwayer ect. I'll be doing the same. Thanks for support guys. I just can't believe all this. I now have to get a paternity test for my second child as OM's ex GF says something is very wrong. OM told his GF he slept with my wife, she went on vacation to NM for two months & came back & told him she was pregnant with his kid. then told him the baby died in birth & our child now is actually her sister's baby & we are caring for him because my sister-in-law is on the run from the law. I'm not making this stuff up. I do not know what is going on here & neither does ex GF. Talking to her has helpd quite a bit as both our stories for what we have been dealing with is the same. Were both labled crazy by our Significant others. I apparently damaged the OM's vehicle by kicking it. Never happened. don't even know the other man or met him. Someone has serious mental issues between my wife & OM or thier just horrible stupid liars. but one thing I know is the times my wife went awol match up to the times OM told GF told me & that's all I need to know. Ex-GF of OM said he told GF he had been at her apartment twice & helped her shower & dress when he brought her home drunk. sorry, if my wife wasn't still involved with OM his GF wouldn't know specific dates. my wife called while writing this. she admits he was in her apartment but she still swears she never did anything with him. I really think divorce is my only option. Thanks guys. I know you were all reading the writing on the wall. I guess I just didn't understand the language.

[icepop]

Gunny and Owl have the correct answer IMHO.

 

Years ago my ex pulled this shyte on me. It looks like your wife and my ex exchanged play booiks...lol.

 

Get custody of the children. Make her pay her share for the kids. ( I did this myself sans attorney )

 

Then you go completely dark. ( FCKN BLCK, MAN )

 

DO NOT CALL HER.

 

DO NOT BE AVAILABLE TO HER.

 

DO NOT SEE HER.

 

DO NOT STALK HER.

 

ARRANGE FOR THE KIDS TO BE PICKED UP/REC'D ELSEWHERE, PREFERABLY A RELATIVES HOUSE YOU TRUST IMPLICITLY.

 

If any of the above does not get her attention, nothing will. You are not responsible for her now that she has moved out.

 

RE-READ WHAT GUNNY AND OWL SAY.

 

RE-READ WHAT GUNNY AND OWL SAY UNTIL YOU DO IT.

 

MEMORIZE WHAT GUNNY AND OWL SAID.

 

THEN.

 

DO IT !!!

 

I guarantee you this, Phineas. If you do not follow what Owl and Gunny have said, be prepared for a life of complete and utter hell and torture.

 

She is not worth shyte to you at this point. Don't let her run your life into the ground, too. Because that is exactly what will happen. You hate the crap now ?

 

 

Just wait. It get's worse than even you want too find out.

 

 

Good Luck !!!

[phineas]

I don't want her attention anymore. She has been sending me text messages about the divorce & how since I obviously don't want or need her anymore there is no point is dragging it out. Is she kidding? she was caught cheeting, making up some huge lies to try & trap another man & when I gave her a 2nd chance she refused to take it & somehow i'm the reason we are getting a divorce?!?! I have not responded to her but I am saving the text messages just in case. She has agreed to an uncontested divorce with her leaving with what she came into the marriage with. I had the house before her & basically everything else. We will see how that goes. if it's uncontested with equal child support or no court ordered child support times i'll aggree to work with one lawyer. If it changes i'll get my own. I'll still talk to one next week. I have spoken to other man's family with OM in the room. He would not get on the phone with me. He admitted to sleeping with her about the time she got pregnant with my 2nd child. He thought it was his because she told him she was divorced when she met me & that I, my oldest sons father had knocked her up & skipped town & referred to me only as (that guy) except one time she slipped up in front of his family & said time to go home & see Dad. upon which she claimed later she said dog. She also told him she was married at one time but our marriage was for the convenience of insurance & I was really her roommate & that she was now divorced. Her family figured her out. They were very surprised to hear from me. seeing as how I had fallen off the face of the earth. OM's family has assured me they will knock some sense into their son & that he will no longer be associating with him. Doesn't matter. I have no future with this woman anymore. At least OM has been warned. I hold no animosity towards him. More text messages as I type. It looks like she is now trying to say I want the divorce & am forcing this. I'm not responding. I don't care. I have to get two paternity tests now because according to OM I may not of been the man who got her pregnant with my 1st son. Of course she wouldn't of used my real name so who knows? The Walgreens paternity test knows. If she doesn't give me a mouth swab I got one of her toothbrushes I can probably use for DNA. I can see how this will get ugly. I believe now she has nobody anymore & will be alone until the next person she comes along & she ruins that. She needs fixing. I believe my 2nd child is mine because a paternity test would show he wasn't OM's & she knew it. She knew his family would force it & she'd be found out. That is why she faked his child's death then made up a story for why she still had a baby after she claimed his died. I am not making this up people. When I confronted her with this on the phone all she could say was "You don't know where I met him." My response was that yes I did. He told me. Then she admitted to sleeping with him. I'd already figured that out. How noble of her.

[Darth Vader]

Ok, Phineas, I just can't keep quite about this one anymore. Go, get the Paternity tests done for both of the children! Get a good Lawyer of your own, because this will turn nasty! If the children are not your own, Sue for Fraud as well! In many cases, that'll get you off the hook for her affair child/children, but, take that up with your Lawyer! No you're not crazy! And neither is OM's Ex-GF!

 

Do you live in a fault state?

 

Your STBX-Hex, I mean Ex, has serious ISSUES!

[phineas]

I live in a no fault state.

I am not going to do paternity tests just yet unless a lawyer tells me to.

 

I asked my family Dr. about paternity test & he asked me 1 question.

If I found out either kid wasn't mine would I walk away from them?

 

no. I wouldn't.

 

He then told me the only reason then would be to prove how vile a person she is & piss her off considering the state of her mind.

 

She still maintains she wants nothing but joint custody from me. I'm waiting for a lawyer to call me back.

 

She has issues. She knows I talked to OM's family with him in the room answering my questions. Yet she claims she only slept with him twice. lat time was aug 2007 yet she had him & his family convinced she was pregnant with his child & it's due date was sept 2008?!?!?

 

Someone has a problem with math or thinks i'm really really stupid.

 

I know she was sleeping with him recently. I was on the phone with his mother & she asked him if he was still sleeping with her & he said "yes" & his mom said, "well stop because she is married"

 

Wife came over to pick up kids & her dog.

She was dressed in my favorite sundress of hers & wearing my favorite perfume.

 

When I opened the door she looked at me waiting for the "wow" response.

It never came.

She looked damn good but I wasn't about to let her know.

 

She asked me if my shorts were new & told me they looked good on me. LOL!

 

fricken nut-job. OM ran for the hills after learning the truth about her lies.

She still thinks i'm her fall-back plan.

No-Way.

 

I was sad my kids wouldn't get to grow up in a two parent family, but now I see their better off because mommy is crazy & if daddy stupidly let her move back she'd just do it again & all the household turmoil would return.

 

I can't put the children through that again.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Your doing the right thing Phineas. mom's is crazy!!!

 

And dont go with the store front DNA tests, look into the DDC corp. they do great ones for decent prices.

 

Also you need the truth for your piece of mind I know I would be eternally pissed if I had to pay child support for a kid that wasnt biologically mine whether I was married or not. I couldnt be at peace with that. That's not the way I'm wired.

 

And also I think you should expose because this has gone on and she has had no consequences to her actions.

[phineas]

I have exposed her to my friends & family because I honestly need the support from them right now so I don't do something stupid like sleep with her again.

 

though exposed is really not the word. It appears everyone in the universe knew she was cheating on me, but me. Oh I knew but wouldn't admit it.

 

I knew right away. It just took two yrs for me to accept it.

 

Our mutual friends (especially the ones she works with) just know from me we're divorcing & the reason is she just wants to be single again. That marriage isn't easy & she doesn't want to do the work. It isn't the fairytale she imagined.

 

Which is true. the cheating & lieing are just symptoms.

 

If I nuke her before I sign papers she will try to screw me & she will most likely succeed.

 

It was easier to just go out & party with her younger stud & have me babysit then lineing up babysitter or spending quality time at home doing family activities.

 

Hell, we were supposed to go to the park one day as a family after she got out of work.

She called to say she had to pick something up on the way home from the store & fell off the face of the earth for 4 hrs & when she finally called me back to say she was on her way home it was too late to go anywhere.

 

I have a feeling that eventually the kids will slow her down & I will get them almost all the time.

 

I am going to my lawyer tomorrow to talk about uncontested divorce & bankruptcy as our wedding 3 1/2 yrs ago was expensive & still a debt that needs to be taken care of.

 

All i'm going to wait for now is when kids are old enough to choose the parent they want to live with.