guest Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 When I met this guy I've been seeing recently , I found out a few conversations into it that he's in the process of getting a divorce. It made me uncomfortable and I backed off from him because it's not finalized and technically he's still married. I guess I kind of freaked out, but am regretting that decision though. I like him as a friend first and would like to get to know him better but I'm not sure I can ask that of him now. Can anyone tell me what men go through emotionally during the last stage until the divorce is official? Should I even bother trying to establish a relationship with him or is it bad news? I want to be there for him as friend, but I just don't know what to do... Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 AS a general rule of mine, based upon personal experience and reading ~ I won't get involved with anyone that's not been divorced / out of a LTR for less than a year~preferablly two. Some guys thrive on being the "Re-bound" Guy, as its a easy "in" and "out" to sex ~ personally I don't need the drama. Link to post Share on other sites
mandy81marie Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 My dad just went through a divorce 3 years ago after a 20 year marriage and he's been with his current GF for 1 1/2 years. But he's been having trouble with being in such a serious relationship. He's having fun finding himself again and doing things he's always wanted without having to answer to anyone. But he does still want a companion to share his time with. IMO, I think older men wont be so much "rebounders" but they still want some freedom after their marriage. Younger men I don't think are emotinallly ready for a serious relationship right after a divorce. But we could all use a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 Thanks for your insight. My friend's divorce is final in about 2 weeks. I feel that he's throwing himself into work. I'm not even exaggerating. I think he works 16-17 hours a day now. I talk to him every few days or so, but I'm still trying to gauge what's going through his mind right now and what if anything I can do to alleviate his burden. Link to post Share on other sites
MoonGirl Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 I think it depends on a lot of factors...how long he has been separated from his wife, how long the divorce is taking (I've heard of some taking 3-5 years!), and what you expect from the relationship with him. If you just want to be friends and have a good time, I don't see a problem there, but if you're looking for something serious, then I'd certainly find out how long he has been separated from his wife. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 Thanks Moongirl. Well I know that he filed for divorce January 26, and they go before the judge on April 2. I definitely want to be there for him as a friend first. It's been hard trying to spend time with him though because it seems lately he's been throwing himself into work in the past couple weeks. I'm sort of letting him do his thing and not putting pressure on him to hang out. Maybe when April 2 comes around I can take him out for a drink or something because even though he says he's looking forward to it, I can't imagine it'll be that easy... I think it depends on a lot of factors...how long he has been separated from his wife, how long the divorce is taking (I've heard of some taking 3-5 years!), and what you expect from the relationship with him. If you just want to be friends and have a good time, I don't see a problem there, but if you're looking for something serious, then I'd certainly find out how long he has been separated from his wife. Link to post Share on other sites
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