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Husband Loosing interest for fallen out of love?


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12breakfree

Hi, I'm here I guess just like everyone else with a bag full of problems. For quiet sometime now I feel so depress and so unlove. My husband and I are married for almost 5 years and for the first 2-3 years they were amazing. He showered me with love and attention. Made me feel so special that I thought I was the luckiest woman alive.

 

He usually called me from work and always hugged and kissed me when he got back home. And he always told me how much he missed me and constantly told me he loved me. Until last year while he was away for work, I found out that he slept with another woman while intoxicating or as he claimed he was.

 

Since that time I had lost faith in him and NEVER look at him in the same way as I was once did. He knows that I don't trust him anymore and he said he understand and it's all because of what happened. We're recently moved to a new city closer to his and mine parents. I thought maybe new place new things will get better.

 

However, I was wrong, as soon as we moved into our new appartment here, things get really rough. A couple of weeks before he started his job, he would stayed up all night sleep all days--his vacation of course. Days and after days, he developes this habits of net surfing and gaming whenver he isn't working.

 

Nothing is new, it's always his things but last month he started to talk to people with his myspace account. Contacting girls added into his buddy lists. That's not all, he started talking to a minor 16 years old girl who is still in her junior year. She knows that he is married and they both acted like friends with harmless intention.

 

But I thought that is a very inappropriate behavior and beside he shouldn't be emailing her back and forth telling her how his days was and what he did. That things belong to me; he should be telling me that. Then again this isn't new either. He did that to other female friends of his in the past. So, I'm not surprise but got fed up with it. We got into a fight last week because he started drinking again.

 

Forgot to mention, since the incident (he cheated) he promised me not to drink again. Whenever I smell alcohole in his breath I get so angry it brings me straight back to that day the day he slept with that unknown woman. Last several weeks, I've discovered that at night on the weekends he sneaked in beer and drank while I was in bed. It came to the point where I can't accept his behaviors anymore, so last week I told him that we need to be away from each other--separate.

 

He didn't take it seriously and replied me with a normal tone that if that's what I want and if it makes me happy. That's not what makes me happy. What makes me happy is you to be a good husband without doign what you are doig right now, I said. No comments. A couple days ago he came home early with this straight face and asked me when I'm leaving. Two months from now, I said, because there are things I need to take care of.

 

A half hour later he came around and made me feel like he didn't want to let me go. He told me that he will always love me and I said I love him too but we do what we need to do. Then I started crying and suddently he took me into his arms, made the move and kissed me desperately. BAM! We had a crazy sex. After sex, I told him look if you don't want me to go, things need to change around here and you need to go for awhile to clear out whatever in your mind to see it is worth trying to work in our marriage. He nodded and agreed that it is a good idea.

 

Even though after that day until we talk and act like a normal couple, we don't sleep on the same bed, even earlier I asked him to bed he refused. Additionally, things don't get any better since the day I thought we made up. He still go back to do whatever he was doing with his daily ritual. Lock himself away after work to either playing games or surfing the net and ignore me treating me like i'm not even exist. If I initiate the conversation or ask him to come out watching tv or spending more time with me, it works for maybe a half hour then he goes back in.

 

What is wrong' with that picture? What should I be doing next? Could it be that he fallen out of love? Or could it be that he lost interest in me? I'm confused. I know even I ask him he wouldn't tell or sometimes the only reply I get is "I don't know."

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I'm sorry you're feeling so unloved. Check out the marriage builders website. There is a lot of good info there about infidelity and saving a marriage.

 

Do you have kids? How old are you both?

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