while on 1 year split - he was with a married woman

[Guest]

Hello,

 

My boyfriend of 5 years and I split up last year. We went our separate ways and dated other people. I tried having a serious relationship with someone else, however deep down i knew it was never going to go anywhere. My boyfriend did his things too. One of them which was a two week encounter with someone he's known since he was a child. The woman is a cousin of my boyfriend's cousin - if you can follow that. This is someone who i am going to keep bumping into for the rest of my life if i decide to marry him. Now the big issue is the fact that this woman is married and she was about to leave her husband for my boyfriend but he's stopped her and told her that he only had feeling for me.

Sorry for the long story. I kind of just want to hear what people think about this b/c for some reason it's really bothering me that my boyfriend was capable of sleeping with a married woman. According to him, their excuse is that the marriage wasn't going so well at the time.

Thanks for allowing me to share my situation,

N.

[daphne]

To me it shows a lack of integrity. Unfortunately my moral compass doesn't necessarily jive with the reality of how men act. Nothing most guys do shocks me anymore.

 

You have to figure out if you can look past it. Just know that if you do, there's still a lack of integrity lurking and you don't know when it's going to show up again. I'm not necessarily saying he'd cheat on you, but if he doesn't think there was anything wrong with sleeping with a married woman, what else does he see no harm in? You won't really know until it happens if you ever find out.

 

Sorry, for me I doubt I'd be able to get past it but I'm looking for Mr. perfect that doesn't exist.

[tearza]

There is a guy I really love and he sexed a married woman a couple of times. Remeber to men, sex is just sex! If your boyfriend said he only has feelings for you than he probably has. He is emotionally attached to you but he just f----d her. It must of been really good b/c the female wants to leave her husband. Remember, the integrity, loyalty and committment begins with the person in the marriage. Overall, alot of people do not know exactly what they want out of a relationship or they are not getting satifaction from it, so messing around is just a quick fix. I know because I am married but emotionally seperated from my husband and love someone else. I am waiting to be intimate with this man so I do not have the guilt of committing adultery. It is hard, but we are never alone or anything like that. WE just call eachother and say "hello, how are you." I respect my husband and I want the man I want to be with to repect me too! I cannot go to bed with (2) men at the same time - that kinda stuff can screw you up! So until that time, I will wait. Some people are just more principled than others.