Do I deserve a 2nd chance?

[*StArGaZeR*]

Hello everyone, I'm here writing to you in hoping for a look into the mind of someone I truly feel could be "the one", and if you have shared a similar experience please feel free to contribute. Early this year I broke up with my ex after 3 years, and shortly there after began seeing a girl who I became very close with. We don't share the same views on poitics, religion and a few other things, which is the "opposites attract" part of me that I really dig, but we do agree on issues when it comes to family and more importantly happiness and well being. Needless to say, after a few months of "dating", she "shared herself" with me for the first time. Not only was this a big deal but it's something she didn't believe she'd do until the day she put that ring on her finger. Well, shortly after this I had began talking to my ex again and thought back to how great our sex life was, and low and behold I made the worst mistake I could have, only once, and at the time I knew it was a mistake but I surely didn't expect what was to follow. I have never cheated on any girlfriend and never would, the fact was that at the time we were "dating" and not together, so I didn't feel the importance of it but now I realize it didn't matter, because we were still exclusive to one another. The girl I was seeing was heartbroken, and so was I. She didn't talk to me for a week before I was finally able to break down to her and share with her my sorrow and apologize profusely at what I had done. The following couple of weeks ensued with her not wanting to hang out or talk much but shortly there after it seemed like things were getting back to normal between us, as we shared laughs and stories like we used to. I left the country for a few weeks and while I was gone we kept in touch, with her on my mind every day I was gone. At this point I wanted to be with her but couldn't promise her that we wouldn't make love until our wedding day, which was the only way she would agree to becoming "a couple". The following weeks after I got back into town I noticed her not the same as she once was. She didn't talk as much, didn't seem as passionate about life or being with me like she once did months before. It was like she changed overnight, and eventually after weeks and weeks of not coming to a compromise about being together she stopped letting me be intimate with her in every way, including kissing or even just lying next to me in my bed. As we began to drift apart, I wanted to hold on as tight as I could and didn't understand why she felt this way, until recently. You see, a few weeks ago we were supposed to hang out one night and she ended up going to a friends house and spent the night there. It upset me a lot, and needless to say I wrote some pretty nasty emails to her but of course it was in the heat of the moment, and I didn't really mean what I said in them. After a 3 weeks of not talking at all, I began questioning her time and time again about why she's changed and once wrong with her. After nearly sending her to a breaking point where it seemed like she was going to snap, she wrote me an email explaining that she isn't the person she once was, and she's confused and needs time to find herself. SHe explained that it all stems back to the time where I slept with my ex while we were dating, and everything began to make sense at that point. I realized how wrong I was in so many ways with her, and that I was sorry I acted mean and selfish and dissapointed and that I expected so much out of her when I should have just let her be the person she is instead of expecting her to be different for my own happiness. I decided right then and there that this is the girl of my dreams all along, and that I've been oblivious to this but now I realize how important she is to me and how great she makes me feel each and every moment I spend with her. I told her that if it's time she needs then it's time she's going to get. I told her that she's worth waiting for and that I'm going to prove it through my actions in the near future. I recently bought her a journal which hopefully will hep her express her emotions, but I know it's still extremely sensitive and although I feel like there's a chance she might give me a second shot, which is what I'm praying for, I also know that she still feels like she doesn't trust me. I no longer talk to my ex, and although I know I shouldnt because it might push her away, I still compliment her daily, telling her she's so great and beautiful, which she is. I feel so strongly about her now more than ever before, and all I want is to love her for who she is and to be loved. It's an amazing feeling to realize how wrong I've been in the past but now I feel like the most important thing in my life right now is to prove to this wonderful person that I should be given a second shot, for I know it would be so great each and every day. Thank you for your responses.