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Ex contacts me after 3 years out of the blue?


Second Chances Called it off but doubting the decision now? Someone wants you back? Let us know about it!

Old 21st January 2018, 1:44 PM   #1
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Ex contacts me after 3 years out of the blue?

Hi all, long time reader of this forum, helped me a lot!

Backstory:
Me and my ex were together for around 6 years from the ages of 16. Great relationship for most of it, she always wanted to travel and had a best friend who seemed to want to do the same aswell. She posted a letter through my door confirming our break up which hurt a hell of a lot! I went completely no contact and deleted her from everything, Not spoke or saw her since! She sent me happy birthday message last year but I just replied with thank you.

She found out Iím going away for a few week to the other side of the world. I received a message from her the other day via Facebook asking about my trip and wether I had the ďtravel bugĒ, she also stated in the message that she no longer has hers and that sheís been really busy. I replied just explaining abit about my trip but kept it short and blunt.

Two days later I get another message saying sheís wanted to contact me for a while and that her family have seen me around and have been talking about me.
Sheís then asked if I wanted to go for alcohol or a coffee sometime but would understand if I didnít want to go.

This has come completely out of the blue and really taken me by surprise. I know none of you are mind readers but from your thoughts and past experience what do you think she wants? I think sheís still single aswell, surely you wouldnít ask your ex out for alcohol if they was with somebody?

Any advice would be great!
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Old 21st January 2018, 1:54 PM   #2
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Half of your post is missing. The half where you explain how you feel about her, and what you want!

From what you've described, this could mean anything, and it's best not to make any assumptions. It could range from mild curiosity to a genuine desire to start back up again.

What you should do depends on what you want. Regardless though, if you do decide to go for a drink with her, I would advise that you not get invested in any feelings at all, unless it is very clear that she is serious.
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Old 21st January 2018, 2:12 PM   #3
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Apologies, I donít really know how I feel about it at the moment, I guess Iím just surprised. I loved and adored this girl when we was together. As far now itís abit confusing, I always stated never again but because I know what we had and how great we was together for most of our relationship I guess my head could be turned if itís what she wanted and acted/said the right things?
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Old 25th January 2018, 9:14 AM   #4
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How long ago was the break-up? Why did you break-up?

It is very possible that she may want to meet up to see how you are doing, catch-up. It doesn't necessarily mean that she wants to get back together especially if she never broke NC while you maintained it. Again, how long were you two in no-contact?

I'd meet her and probe what is going on. Don't show your cards, but get an idea of what she may want.
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Old 25th January 2018, 9:32 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Espadrilles View Post
Apologies, I donít really know how I feel about it at the moment, I guess Iím just surprised. I loved and adored this girl when we was together. As far now itís abit confusing, I always stated never again but because I know what we had and how great we was together for most of our relationship I guess my head could be turned if itís what she wanted and acted/said the right things?
You want your head to be turned. That is not a thing.

Though back when she had the travel bug was that
friend of hers that had the bug also were they a man
or woman?

Is she still in contact with that friend?
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