Broke up with the Love of my life, 3 weeks ago, Any chances of getting her back???

[Genuine9605]

Hi Everyone,

 

Joining this forum was actually tough for me, but I feel I needed to reach out to people who didn't know me, and just express my situation. I hope this doesn't sound like every other love story. Sorry if its long, but I'm hurting, Im sure alot of you know how I feel.

 

I broke up with my the love of my life about 3 weeks ago. We were together for about 10 months, but we've known each other almost 5 years. We moved in together way too soon, I realized that. Literally 3 weeks after we started dating. From day one, I've treated like nothing less than she deserves. I paid close attention to the little details. I left her small love notes randomly, holding doors open, always putting her first in situations. Surprise flowers at her work. She gets up for work at 6:30 am week days, I dont have to be up until later, but I always got up with her,made her breakfast and walked her to her car every day. Back in July, we were sitting on the couch and she told, that I was the guy she has been waiting for her whole life, Im everything she ever wanted in a guy, how she wants to grow old with me and make memories. The following month in August I went away for a few weeks to visit my family,( my sister had a baby) my girlfriend could not go because she had to work. Ever since I came back, her affection has been less and less. I noticed a big difference. I finally approached her about a few days before we broke up. She said she was questioning our relationship, she didnt know if she wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, etc......she always gave me a bunch shallow reasons as well. After a day and a half, i decided to have a talk with her and we mutually decided to break up, and give space to one another.She said she questioned by commitment to her??!! WTF?? Although I have to admit, I kind of jumped the gun, I didnt want to break up, but I acted on emotion, we didnt yell, we talked civilly about it. I decided to move out rather quickly, as it was too painful for me. We didnt text or communicate for a few days, she reached out to me to see how I was doing while she was at work. I responded with a pic of an engagement ring I bought for her a few months back. ( YES, i bought a ring, was planning to purpose over Xmas)Anyways, she said she was sick to her stomache about it, it ruined her day at work, she had to leave early and go home, it bothered her that much. I only showed her to prove I was committed to us. After that she has reached out to me randomly with odd questions about how to use the wifi, cable, etc....stuff she knows how to use. she even asked me if I wanted to grab dinner one night, then decided to cancel on me,(she did that twice btw!) Well I finally went and saw her at her place, it went VERY well, we hugged, talked( nothing deep), even held hands for about 15 min. I then left we gave each other a long hug goodbye. I was sooooooo Happy! Until........I get a text from her the next morning. Saying I should have never came over, she was very uncomfortable, I came on so strong, which by the way, is total crap. I made an effort NOT to come on strong and she showed no signs of being uncomfortable. She also said we need time and space right now, so I just said , Okay, no problem. I made up my mind then to not contact or respond to anything for her for a while. BUT, that same night, she texts me again about the Wifi not working???!!!! WTF, she just adamently told me that same day we need soace and time apart! ughhhhh, I didnt respond............I also found out she took a liking to one of her brother in laws friends that we hang out with. No one told me who the guy was, but I figured it out.............So, I apologize for it being long but I wanted to get opinions, advice, etc....any help really! I love her so much, this is unbeleivable hard for me, I want nothing more than to have her again by my side. Is it still possible?? if so, how?? I appreciate ALL of you Thank you in advance!

 

Well Wishes,

JC

Edited October 14, 2017 by Genuine9605

[JellyTot]

It sounds like she met someone else, or for whatever reason she decided she wanted out of the relationship. It's pretty common for someone who feels guilty to try to put the blame on the other person, saying they're not committed or are too clingy or whatever. It's easier than admitting it's their fault and they want out. It sounds like you've done your best to be a great boyfriend but this girl just wasn't into it. Perhaps she was into it early on but she's obviously changed her mind. The best thing you can do is back off and give her space to miss you (or to decide she's made the right decision in leaving). Whatever happens, it has to come from her - anything you do at this point is only likely to drive her further away.

[RobMele]

Sorry to say but to me it seems she has made her decision to move on. There is possibly someone else involved to and has been for some time. She's also unsure about you and am sorry to say probably doesnt love or value you. By contacting you she is only softening the blow for herself until eventually she will be settled in another relationship. I think youve done everything absoultely right so far but unfortunatelly I dont see this working out, even if you save it now, further down the line the same thing WILL happen again.