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He hurt me but I still love him. Should I give him another chance?


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Hello. I'm new here but I have a story to share and need some advice...

I've been friends with a guy for 2 years. This year, something between us happened and we started developing feelings. We weren't toghether but close to it. He was afraid to ask me because of getting rejected and ending our "friendship" or whatever it was. He was not only telling me that he loves me but he also told it another girl. I discovered it and if I didn't, I would still probably not know anything. Last week he also told me that he used to mess around with several girls. I can't trust him at all but I still love him. It destroys me and I want to move on but I simply can't.

 

Has anyone had a similar situation?

I don't know what to do...:(

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Trust in any relationship is paramount. Since he's not trustworthy - I vote to not start again.

 

He's a player...he will likely hurt you.

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Doesn't sound like much of a friend either and since trust has gone and at such an early stage -- the risk is too high. It would be best for you to move on. He sounds like bad news.

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At what?

Using you for sex, lying to you and sleeping with other women at the same time...

 

YOU need to ask yourself why you consider such an unsuitable man as "love" material.

Why set yourself up to fail?

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Hello. I'm new here but I have a story to share and need some advice...

I've been friends with a guy for 2 years. This year, something between us happened and we started developing feelings. We weren't toghether but close to it. He was afraid to ask me because of getting rejected and ending our "friendship" or whatever it was. He was not only telling me that he loves me but he also told it another girl. I discovered it and if I didn't, I would still probably not know anything. Last week he also told me that he used to mess around with several girls. I can't trust him at all but I still love him. It destroys me and I want to move on but I simply can't.

 

Has anyone had a similar situation?

I don't know what to do...:(

 

This isn't love.

You may love the "idea" of who you think he is, who you wish he was...

 

But, someone who loves you and respect you doesn't lie to you, "mess around" with several girls, and tell another woman that he loves her while you are dating.

 

No, I've never been a similar situation because I have the absolute expectation that the man I'm dating is honest, respectful, and faithful to me.

 

You need to do some real soul searching to learn why you are having a difficult time kicking his a$$ to the curb.

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  • 2 weeks later...

A guy who loves you and wants a relationship with you will not avoid asking you to be his girlfriend. He might fear losing your friendship but he would take that risk. If he does not take that risk, he does not feel strongly enough for you. I feel this guy likes you as a friend (or friend with benefits) but still wants to play around. It could be immaturity or it could be his inherent nature. He will just hurt you.

 

Until he comes to you asking you to be his girlfriend (and demonstrates that he is happy for others to know you are his girlfriend), it would be best to keep him at a distance. He is likely to value you more if he finds it hard to get time with you. If you really want him, keep him at arms length until he is absolutely clear he wants you to be his girlfriend. He won't respect you if you are his friend with benefits when you really want more.

 

If you have already had sex with him, then the above still applies - keep him at a distance and don't sleep with him again. It is the only way you will regain respect, otherwise he will just see you as a FWB. Guys will take what they can get but not necessarily want the woman they sleep with to be their girlfriend. By taking a step back, you are effectively saying you are not a FWB, you expect more, or he does not get your time. If he is looking around at various women, this will make you stand out from the crowd.

Edited by spiderowl
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