SOS still in love with a girl not sure next

[Maolya]

I fell hard for one of my sisters friends "Olga" and she keeps sending me this weird mixed signals that I don't know what they mean. But I'll I'll explain to you our story so you can get a better understanding.

So I met Olga through my sister and the night life in the city we both live in. It started as a cover to get this girl off me (I know it sounds cheesy but it was her idea). So she would pretend to be my date for the night so a girl I reall disliked wouldn't approach me. After a while we both took the role too serious and started hooking up. After the first time it became a routine, we use always see each other Friday hook up and go home together, it was a great time.

 

But during that period I herd that she liked me and wasn't to sure what I wanted to do... so this carried on for 2-3 months until we all went back home to our home countries (myself the USA and she went back to the Ukraine). During our vacation she sends me a long message basically saying "that's she really liked me and that it was hurting you her it was going no where and she needed to move on if it wasn't going to lead to anything".

 

As soon as I got that message my feelings changed because I didn't want to loose her from my life.

 

So when we got back we didn't talk for maybe 2 max 3 weeks, until we saw each other in the club and the same thing happened, she then started texting and snapping constantly throughout the day (and this when I really started to fall for her).

 

So time went by like that and I would ask her out a lot but usually in the club, she would usually reply very vague and tell me to do it sober.

 

So I came up with the idea to surprise her with flowers and an invitation to go out so I contacted her sister to help pick her favorite flowers and restaurant. On the flowers I wrote a note "the flowers represent how much you really mean to me, I hope you can join me for dinner Wednesday night"

 

But when they arrived it didn't go 100% planed, she said thank you and that they were supper thoughtful, that she didn't want to do it, because she waiting so long but she didn't want it to be awakard between us and she didn't want to loose me. Naturally I said it was fine, but it killed me inside.

 

I didn't talk to her for a couple of weeks until my graduation, we were going out with my sister and a couple friends and she asked if she could join, and texted me directly saying congratulations for graduating and we chatted a bit.

 

She later on met us at the club, in the club the attraction instantly came back I was drawn to her and she to me, we hanged out the majority of the night flirting and stuff, but I stopped myself from kissing her because I still hurt and wasn't 100% sure what her intentions were.

So we both went home alone that night.

 

My mom was in town because of my graduation so I had big dinner with my sister and her friends, surprisingly when I got to the restaurant there was my sister, Olga, and her sister all sitting with my mom. It was very weird for me because I still had such strong feelings for her and I had no idea how she felt.

 

Well anyway I had dinner with them and tried to make as least always as I possibly could, nothing really happened we talked a bit but at the end she went to have drinks with my sister and I took my mother to her hotel.

 

So around 2 weeks passed, and my sister invited her to stay out our vacation home just outside the city, she told her that she will be home alone and that I will be there.

So Olga comes with her sister to the house, I take all 3 of them to one of my friends house that lives near to me and we start to drink, play games and talk.

This whole time Olga and I flirting touching each other hugging, I was so happy.

 

At the end of the night we go home, when everyone is in bed she sneaks into my bed and starts making out with me and it was supper passionate. She then stops to ask me "do you still love me?" I answered saying "Olga what do you want me to say?" She then just continued to kiss me. That carried on for a couple hours and we cuddled, until she sneaked but into her room. The next we acted supper relaxed and didn't kiss or do anything, so I'm not sure if what to think or do.

 

She left yesterday, I feel like I can still have a shot with her and I really want her to be mine. I just don't know what to do or what these signals mean.

 

I really need someone help and advice.

 

Thanks

Edited July 4, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
paragraphs~T

[d0nnivain]

You did the right thing by finally asking Olga out properly in a romantic way, sober. At this point she's the one who is playing games, probably because she's scared.

 

You two both enjoyed the FWB casual thing you had going on. She caught feelings earlier than you did & when you hesitated, it was blow to her ego. Even though you finally came around with the flowers & lovely romantic ask, her insecurities prevented her from trusting that.

 

Try talking to her, sober. Remember she has trust issues & maybe self esteem issues.

 

If she's not up for a relationship, decide if you want to carry on with this FWB thing she still seems open to.

[PegNosePete]

Both of you are such terrible communicators. I just want to knock your heads together!

 

Just ask her straight up what's going on. Get a straight answer and follow it up with actions.

[SayAnything]

First of all, it sounds like you guys have a really rare connection and that's a good thing. Those are hard to find, and you seem super young - but it seems like both of you guys want this to happen, maybe timing is just wrong because you live in different countries, right?

 

I'm not sure why you both keep holding back. When she asked you if you still loved her, why didn't you tell her the truth? Because she has rejected you before? I think you should have told her how you feel, so next time if you get this chance, tell her. Maybe even now, tell her, be honest. Life is too short to play stupid games. If you love someone, try your luck and tell them.

 

Will you see her again soon? Can you wait until then, and when you get her alone, tell her how you feel? Then ask her if she wants to do this or not - don't let her play with your time. Show her that you care about yourself enough to be direct with her. Basically you are saying, "Look, I like you. You seem to like me. Are we gonna do this or not?"

 

If she's really not interested, then you need to know so that you can move on with your life. You're young and there are lots of great girls out there. Sure, this one is special, but trust me - there will be another special one if this one doesn't work out.

 

Good luck and keep us posted!

[Maolya]

Thank you everyone for the help, I really appreciate it.

 

So I texted her last night because my sister told me she needed a lawyer for help on her visa. So I started texting her with that. We talked until 3am and she was having dinner while texting me. So made me feel good but making me wonder as well..

anyway trying to stay positive

 

I agree with all of you I just wanna find out if we have connection, I just don't know to confront her on it.

 

Should I call? Text? Or just wait till the next time I see her in person.

 

 

Ps. We are both from different countries but she study together I'm a senior, And she's a junior

[Maolya]

What do you guys recommended I do?