Maintenanceman Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 Hey gang , id appreciate your comments with something that has been on my mind for quite some time now. I was in a year and a half with a great girl which ended a couple of months ago. Problem was I caught her in allot of lies (lying about whereabouts, communications with ex, just to name a few) and it got pretty rough. We'd argue allot and unfortunetly it came to a mutual end. It's been a little while now, and she would really like to get together and try and work things out. I will admit I do still care for her, but i also know that the lying has caused insecurities that i am confident I could get over, but it would take time. My main question is(and this may be answered best by a female) would be why she is trying so dam hard. She did get caught , we really fought about it (cause there was no real cause to lie, which sparked trust issues obviously). She even went as far as to say she would set up a lie detector test ( I would never have her do it FYI) to prove the lies were nothing more then harmless. It really racks my brain. I should also mention that we are both in are early 30s , both successful, no kids, never married. We took things very seriously and talked about kids and an engagement. Thanks in advance for your replies. Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 Because she realized how she hurt you , the lies were not worth losing you over , that you are the love of her life , time apart made her see the error of her ways or it's just a facade as she can't find another guy ? She now needs to work very hard to become a safe partner. If she is doing the hard work then it's probably she loves you hard. Only you can decide. You don't want to be one sided loyalty 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 So pay for a lie detector test. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 On second thoughts , what's the need to communicate with an ex? An ex is an ex. If they miss each other so much, why are you coming in between them? Unless they share tiny babies to take care, there is no such thing as harmless or meaningless interaction between exes. Period. The trying hard part is most likely a facade. Read the infidelity board and see how people cheat under the disguise of harmless ,meaningless friends and label the partner as neurotic, insecure , jealous and what not , " just because he or she talks to his or her 'friend' ". Just because we have a partner, does it mean we can't even talk to half the population? Mmmmm, actually yes. Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 Think about it like this. Why be in contact with an ex for any reason, except children. One of the only reasons is she was not over him. One of the other reasons is that she was sleeping with him. Either way, lying shows moral character. Is that where you want to be starting out in a marriage? Make her take that Lie detector test if you still want to be with her, then you will know what was going on. Otherwise, let her stay gone... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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