Musclehampsrer1987 Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 broke up with my girlfriend a little over 2 months ago. We still loved each other but we had a fight about silly stuff and I walked away and moved out. We lived together for about 10 months. We tried the no contact and it worked for awhile and recently she started messaging me here and there telling me how her girls were doing and her and we have recently started talking every day now and even meeting up with each other here and there and I can spend time with her daughters. She has never said that there’s not a chance we can get back together and I’m thinking she still has feelings for me as we talked on the phone for an hour the other night and everytime I see we we give each other a big hug before I leave. I don’t think there’s another guy in the picture and if there is she’s pretty secretive about it. She has a big test coming up so I asked her to lunch next week on my day off so we could celebrate her passing it cuz I know she can do it and she replied sounds good to me. Am I making all the right moves for her to take me back and is there anything I should do different. I’m sure she still has feelings for me or I’m sure she wouldn’t let me see her kids text me everyday or even agree to go to lunch but I do want her back I love her and her kids and miss them and I realize I made a huge mistake by not thinking things through and just leaving because she’s the one girl I can’t walk away from. Please help thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Author Musclehampsrer1987 Posted May 21, 2017 Author Share Posted May 21, 2017 I recently broke up with my girlfriend two months ago. We lived together for about 10 months. We had a fight about silly things and I got upset and left. Recently she contacted me by text and ever since asks if I want to come see her daughters and I usually stay for a few hours and she never says that I need to leave. Anytime we see each other we talk for at least an hour and we text everyday like great friends and she recently asked if I could call her last Sunday so I did. I asked her if she wanted to do lunch one day and she said sounds good. If she didn't have feelings for me or didn't want to get back together I would think she would cut me out of her life completely and. It even let me have anything to do with her kids let alone text me everyday. I still love her and I know I made a huge mistake and just want her back. Opinions? Link to post Share on other sites
Frostedflake Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 she's the one girl I can’t walk away from. Please help thank you But you didddd. I walked away and moved out. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in old feelings we forget that leaving is EXACTLY what we wanted at the time. And after you do it once it's easier to do again and again. Don't go making yourself a hard to break habit. If they were "silly" fights but you LEFT, maybe they weren't so silly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Musclehampsrer1987 Posted May 21, 2017 Author Share Posted May 21, 2017 It was a silly fight and I was in the wrong. I left because I wouldn't admit that I was wrong she tried to get me to stay. She was honestly everything I've ever asked for Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 The fight wasn't silly if you had done something wrong and wouldn't admit it. Silly fights are over trivial matters. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Musclehampsrer1987 Posted May 21, 2017 Author Share Posted May 21, 2017 The fight wasn't silly if you had done something wrong and wouldn't admit it. Silly fights are over trivial matters. They are but I still realize I made a huge mistake and I just want her back Link to post Share on other sites
Goodguy05 Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 What was the reason for the breakup? Depends on the the reason u broke up 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 If she didn't have feelings for me or didn't want to get back together I would think she would cut me out of her life completely and. Not necessarily. This board is littered with stories where that exact story plays out. It happened to me too. Just because she calls you and hangs out with you does not mean she wants to get back together with you. More often than not, it means nothing of the sort. Most people can't just go cold turkey and immediately stop contacting/seeing an ex. So they end up weaning off of you gradually. Or they are just lonely, and it's hard to go from seeing a person everyday to nothing. She might still like you and have some feelings for you, but that doesn't mean she wants to get back together with you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 Talk to her about the issues and see what each of you think now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Musclehampsrer1987 Posted May 21, 2017 Author Share Posted May 21, 2017 What was the reason for the breakup? Depends on the the reason u broke up We had a fight about the stupidest of things and I was in the wrong but refused to admit it so without thinking I left only to realize after how much her and her girls mean to me. I love them more than anything or anyone. She's very protective of her kids and that's why I think if she wasn't thinking about another try that she would cut off all ties with me and the kids Link to post Share on other sites
Author Musclehampsrer1987 Posted May 21, 2017 Author Share Posted May 21, 2017 Not necessarily. This board is littered with stories where that exact story plays out. It happened to me too. Just because she calls you and hangs out with you does not mean she wants to get back together with you. More often than not, it means nothing of the sort. Most people can't just go cold turkey and immediately stop contacting/seeing an ex. So they end up weaning off of you gradually. Or they are just lonely, and it's hard to go from seeing a person everyday to nothing. She might still like you and have some feelings for you, but that doesn't mean she wants to get back together with you. There's times it's like the iittelest of excuses she comes up with to talk to me. I've told her I wanted her back, I know wrong thing to do and she never said no. I've just got to get her back and I don't know how to do it Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 There's times it's like the iittelest of excuses she comes up with to talk to me. I've told her I wanted her back, I know wrong thing to do and she never said no. I've just got to get her back and I don't know how to do it What exactly was her answer when you said you wanted her back? Even if you caused the breakup, it's still not fair for her to keep you in this holding pattern. You've been upfront, and she needs to be upfront with her intentions. There's no point in you sticking around if she doesn't want to get back together right now. It's wholly possible that she doesn't trust you anymore and is not sold on the idea of taking another chance to build that trust. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Musclehampsrer1987 Posted May 21, 2017 Author Share Posted May 21, 2017 What exactly was her answer when you said you wanted her back? Even if you caused the breakup, it's still not fair for her to keep you in this holding pattern. You've been upfront, and she needs to be upfront with her intentions. There's no point in you sticking around if she doesn't want to get back together right now. It's wholly possible that she doesn't trust you anymore and is not sold on the idea of taking another chance to build that trust. She said that her girls come first and she doesnt want them hurt again. I know I broke her trust and I'm trying and doing everything I know to do to be that person I should've been the whole time Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 She said that her girls come first and she doesnt want them hurt again. I know I broke her trust and I'm trying and doing everything I know to do to be that person I should've been the whole time To me, that translates into not wanting to date you again. At least, not right now. Trust is very hard to regain once you break it, almost impossible really. You really need to be with a person for an extended time, on a fairly intimate basis, to rebuild trust. Which is the tricky part because it would involve you hanging around with her for a long time to rebuild the trust. And that's pretty tortuous if you aren't in a relationship with her. What I would do is ask her if there is a chance you could rebuild trust and exactly what that would take. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Musclehampsrer1987 Posted May 22, 2017 Author Share Posted May 22, 2017 To me, that translates into not wanting to date you again. At least, not right now. Trust is very hard to regain once you break it, almost impossible really. You really need to be with a person for an extended time, on a fairly intimate basis, to rebuild trust. Which is the tricky part because it would involve you hanging around with her for a long time to rebuild the trust. And that's pretty tortuous if you aren't in a relationship with her. What I would do is ask her if there is a chance you could rebuild trust and exactly what that would take. I'll give that a try I know it's not going to be easy rebuilding her trust. But if she said that why would she still let me spend time with them she still lets them FaceTime me and see them at least once or twice a week. If she didn't want them hurt again wouldn't she cut all ties between me and them Link to post Share on other sites
Author Musclehampsrer1987 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 I recently broke up with my girlfriend about 2 months ago. We did the no contact and recently at the beginning of the month we started talking angain and now we talk to each other just about every day. She has even come to visit me at my house and asked if I wanted to come over and see her daughters on my day off. So I have seen her and spent time with her since we broke up but this is the first time since we broke up that we will have went anywhere together. I'm extremely nervous because I still love her and the girls and I want her back. Does anybody have any tips or suggestions that could help me out here when takin her to lunch Link to post Share on other sites
Author Musclehampsrer1987 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 (edited) My girlfriend of a year and I recently called it quits about 2 months ago. A couple weeks ago she started texting me regularly and we have hung out a few times since then. She agreed to go to lunch tomorrow on my day off and we talk like best friends now. She tells me about everything going in in her life and even tells me about the things that aren't going so great. She tells me about her family and friends and asks about mine and every time we see each other we talk for an hour at the least and it's like she doesn't want to say goodbye but she always gives me a big hug at the end. Opinions here cuz I do want her back and I know I screwed up Edited May 23, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 4 threads merged ~6 Link to post Share on other sites
Marco Valerio Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 Hi friend, It seems like to her, you've gone from boyfriend to boy friend. Is that what you want? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
springy Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 My girlfriend of a year and I recently called it quits about 2 months ago. A couple weeks ago she started texting me regularly and we have hung out a few times since then. She agreed to go to lunch tomorrow on my day off and we talk like best friends now. She tells me about everything going in in her life and even tells me about the things that aren't going so great. She tells me about her family and friends and asks about mine and every time we see each other we talk for an hour at the least and it's like she doesn't want to say goodbye but she always gives me a big hug at the end. Opinions here cuz I do want her back and I know I screwed up Sounds like you're being friend zoned. Only way to know, is to ask. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Musclehampsrer1987 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 She seems like she's showing signs that she misses me like calling me for some lame reason and what she called for is like the last thing on her mind and we talk for an hour. She texts me all the time and tells me how her girls have been doing in everything and sends me pictures of them. Is it possible that she could be wanting me to prove myself I've talked to her about getting back together and apologized and she never said yes but didn't seem like she was opposed to the subject Link to post Share on other sites
kortz Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 She seems like she's showing signs that she misses me like calling me for some lame reason and what she called for is like the last thing on her mind and we talk for an hour. She texts me all the time and tells me how her girls have been doing in everything and sends me pictures of them. Is it possible that she could be wanting me to prove myself I've talked to her about getting back together and apologized and she never said yes but didn't seem like she was opposed to the subject Be up front about what you want, or ask her to be up front about what it is she wants. Establish boundaries. Sounds like she cares for you the way I care for a couple of my exes, we share history and had a connection which made us close and comfortable and even after years that comfort in talking to them is still there, but there is no desire from either side for anything more. They're like weird friends, we can go months without speaking and then just chat like we've never been apart. Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 Folks, the starter had four threads running on this topic so Robert merged them into one discussion. You may note some duplication of content or overlap in responses. Our apologies for not catching this more quickly. Thanks for your input and please continue the discussion of this breakup and aftermath in this thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Sean789 Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 (edited) Ex gf dumped me 2 months ago. I had issues going on in my head and i had a drink problem. Since the breakup ive stopped the drink for a full 11 weeks now and im seaking help (counciling) for my issues. My ex still wont talk to me shes been so cruel and nasty. Times ive thought about having a drink but ive chose not to im better than that. She still has pictures of me on my own and still has my family on facebook. She told her family to unfriend me. They did but she kept my family on shes liking all there posts and pics that get put up. Her other exes she has removed pics of them straight away but not me. Shes also kept letters ive sent her. And she accepted a gift i bought her. Yet shes still so mean to me. She also has 2 kids that aint mine. Her youngest 4 we had a great bond. He was like my shadow i helped raise him and she wont let me see or speak to the kids either. 2 and a half year i was in his life. Any advice would be great please Edited May 23, 2017 by Sean789 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 She seems like she's showing signs that she misses me like calling me for some lame reason and what she called for is like the last thing on her mind and we talk for an hour. She texts me all the time and tells me how her girls have been doing in everything and sends me pictures of them. Is it possible that she could be wanting me to prove myself I've talked to her about getting back together and apologized and she never said yes but didn't seem like she was opposed to the subject Again, none of these actions means she is ready to take a chance on a relationship again. We have no idea what her intentions are, so you have to ask her. You need to ask her if there is any chance at you earning her trust back and having a relationship? Anything else, and you are in a holding pattern with no progress. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Musclehampsrer1987 Posted May 25, 2017 Author Share Posted May 25, 2017 Again, none of these actions means she is ready to take a chance on a relationship again. We have no idea what her intentions are, so you have to ask her. You need to ask her if there is any chance at you earning her trust back and having a relationship? Anything else, and you are in a holding pattern with no progress. How do I ask her without sounding needy? We went to lunch yesterday with the kids and it went great. She even let me drive them home cuz they wanted me to take them. I even asked her if we could do it again on my next day off and she said sounds great. She's very protective of her kids and always puts them first if she wasn't wanting to get back together would she really let me see them as much as she does let alone trust me to drive them home and be alone with them? Link to post Share on other sites
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