surferchic Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 (edited) Hello all. I'll try keeping this as brief as possible. About a year and 1/2 ago I broke up with an ex(fiance) due to several issues btwn us. Recently I ran into him two times within these past 2 weeks. My job was having an even at a public place. Once during the week and another time during the weekend. I attended both functions. Both times I saw my ex. The first time we connected He and one of his guys friends sat at the table directly beside my staff table. I didn't see him but a few guys at my table were telling jokes and super loud and it caught the attn of several people off and on. No biggie since it was a club/ restaurant. I heard someone calling my name and it was my ex. I was shocked bcuz I hadn't seen him in almost a year. I went over to speak. He asked me to join them in a seat after he hugged me and almost didn't let me go. It go more crowded meaning I had to give up my seat which was from another table he told me to sit on his lap. I did for a minute and he held me close asking me if I missed all this. I told him I did... .During our dialogue he brought up the fact that he bought me an expensive engagement ring and put everything into the relationship. I responded saying so did I. He gave me the same look of disbelief whenever we discussed us putting work into our relationship. He was big on communication and almost smothered me with his possessiveness. But then he'd feel embarrassed about feeling jealous or possessive and try diverting the attn away from his behavior. Nevertheless We laughed and talked a bit more then I decided to go back to my table. Ffwd: This past Friday he asked me to go to an event with him on Sunday. I was shocked but I agreed. He also said he was free Saturday giving me 2 days to he was available. At the end of our conversation he said he was going to check on tickets to the event and let me know. KICKER: He never got back to me. I ended texted him to find out what the deal was with the event. Me: "hey. U get tickets? Yep/nope?". He responded with a short "hello.nope" What's that all about. Had I not contacted him he wouldn't have contacted me bcuz it was almost near the event time when I finally decided to just find out what the deal was. I almost didn't contact him and almost wished I didn't. Thing is that's what he always complained about with me,I.e not calling him or texting him enough while we were together even though we lived together. Why would he even ask me out??? It's seems so stupid ... Edited May 2, 2017 by surferchic 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 (edited) hey its quite common fro peopel to ask or do things on impulse in the heat of the moment and that is what it is ...heat...causing impulse...mix alcohol in with heat and impulse and thats a cocktail called misfortune.......one reason why i moved so far away from my ex ...impulse.....and heat and yep cocktails with other women involved.... we had an intense sexual intimate soul bearing relationship one that continued to the day he left and then it was a matter of me healing enough that i could move interstate and be the mum i always was.....he was with his affair partner.....when that relationshp went downhill my ex is a commitment phobe......he wants to be with me again probably always wanted to anyway....not the way i want.....i want sexual intimacy in the confines of marriage......he doesnt.....we are too different and sex doesnt fix our differences at all ......when we were together the heat could be felt no one ever thought we would split.....in my heart i guess i avoided knowing what i knew from early on that we would....in fact split..i had a vision...even if it took fifteen years i blame myself for that i gave my best fighting years...my passion ...my heart ...gave it all..... i fight too hard..... exes are exes for a reason and revisiting an ex when differences split you up in the first place can be a heartbreaking journey to take..... let the guy go if he contacts you with concrete plans adn definites that show real interest and you want to go backwards ...then make your decision until then...dont contact him.....my ex asked me why dont you ring me the other day (he is courting me flirting with me)...... i explained to him honestly i only want to talk to him when he is really interested in talking to me...this is for a specific reason when he feels the desire to talk to me ...i want to see where that desire is heading.....i care for this guy ....i care for myself mor ethough now so i wont be with a guy who never intends to marry me....and relies on heat and impulse to stay..... i suggest you dont either.....care for you first and what you really need and want from a relationship if this guy doesnt fit the bill ...stay clear..i wish you peace ..deb Edited May 2, 2017 by todreaminblue Link to post Share on other sites
Author surferchic Posted May 2, 2017 Author Share Posted May 2, 2017 hey its quite common fro peopel to ask or do things on impulse in the heat of the moment and that is what it is ...heat...causing impulse...mix alcohol in with heat and impulse and thats a cocktail called misfortune.......one reason why i moved so far away from my ex ...impulse.....and heat and yep cocktails with other women involved.... we had an intense sexual intimate soul bearing relationship one that continued to the day he left and then it was a matter of me healing enough that i could move interstate and be the mum i always was.....he was with his affair partner.....when that relationshp went downhill my ex is a commitment phobe......he wants to be with me again probably always wanted to anyway....not the way i want.....i want sexual intimacy in the confines of marriage......he doesnt.....we are too different and sex doesnt fix our differences at all ......when we were together the heat could be felt no one ever thought we would split.....in my heart i guess i avoided knowing what i knew from early on that we would....in fact split..i had a vision...even if it took fifteen years i blame myself for that i gave my best fighting years...my passion ...my heart ...gave it all..... i fight too hard..... exes are exes for a reason and revisiting an ex when differences split you up in the first place can be a heartbreaking journey to take..... let the guy go if he contacts you with concrete plans adn definites that show real interest and you want to go backwards ...then make your decision until then...dont contact him.....my ex asked me why dont you ring me the other day (he is courting me flirting with me)...... i explained to him honestly i only want to talk to him when he is really interested in talking to me...this is for a specific reason when he feels the desire to talk to me ...i want to see where that desire is heading.....i care for this guy ....i care for myself mor ethough now so i wont be with a guy who never intends to marry me....and relies on heat and impulse to stay..... i suggest you dont either.....care for you first and what you really need and want from a relationship if this guy doesnt fit the bill ...stay clear..i wish you peace ..deb Hi thanks Deb. Very insightful and thanks for sharing your story. And I agree with most of what you said. I need to clarify something though... when my ex asked me out we weren't in a club nor was it night time. We were both at work... so we were both sober. My thought is exactly the title of this thread. I wanted to know if anyone else sees it that way in addition to him seeing how far he can play with my emotions. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronnys93 Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 Hmm, sounds like he strung you along a bit. Probably wanted to gauge whether you still had an interest in him and he pulled that stunt :/ That's horrible. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 (edited) Hi thanks Deb. Very insightful and thanks for sharing your story. And I agree with most of what you said. I need to clarify something though... when my ex asked me out we weren't in a club nor was it night time. We were both at work... so we were both sober. My thought is exactly the title of this thread. I wanted to know if anyone else sees it that way in addition to him seeing how far he can play with my emotions. hey surferchic i think as another poster suggested he wanted to play with your emotions ...ego trip maybe..........my advice still stands him drunk or not.....sounds off to me...let him contact you with concrete solid plans and see where it goes from there..that is if you still want to try again...only an idea from me for you to think of before you make a decision in regards to him........deb Edited May 2, 2017 by todreaminblue Link to post Share on other sites
Author surferchic Posted May 3, 2017 Author Share Posted May 3, 2017 hey surferchic i think as another poster suggested he wanted to play with your emotions ...ego trip maybe..........my advice still stands him drunk or not.....sounds off to me...let him contact you with concrete solid plans and see where it goes from there..that is if you still want to try again...only an idea from me for you to think of before you make a decision in regards to him........deb Thnx. I agree with you all. Not sure if I even have an interest any way. I think the last time I saw him I got turned off by him trying so hard to be "cool" that he was drinking to the point of being almost drunk...he could barely keep his balance. One item on my list of reasons to leave him. Not saying that alone makes him a bad person. It just makes him a hypocrite based on several issues we had in our relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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