Taticake Posted April 26, 2017 Share Posted April 26, 2017 Two people love each other and had many very happy moments together. However this is the man's first serious relationship and he wants to get into other relationships to get a better perspective on what he truly wants. The male breaks up with the female, which surprises her, because it was so unexpected (since last night they were so happy with each other). Although the female is sad, they end things on good term and agree to be friends for a while until they find both partners in life. Fast forward a few years later, the male dates a few people and even get into a serious relationship with another female for a while. However, the relationship didn't work out. The male is sad but decides to move on with his life. However deep down his first love still has a place in his heart. The female also dated a few people and loved another great guy. However she still couldn't get over her first love. She decides to break up with her current partner and hit up her first ex and invite him to dinner. They talk and decided to start things slow. The love is still there because they both loved each other when they left. The female notices that her ex has changed a lot and is finally ready to commit. Do you think it's possible for them to love and marry again if they start at a clean slate? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 26, 2017 Share Posted April 26, 2017 They don't have a clean slate because they have history. However, if they both want to try again it is possible. My college roommate & her husband did this. They'd been together since junior high; broke up senior year of college so he could sow some wild oats & got back together about 2 years after college. They have been married for more than 25 years at this point. It is highly unusual though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Taticake Posted April 26, 2017 Author Share Posted April 26, 2017 They don't have a clean slate because they have history. However, if they both want to try again it is possible. My college roommate & her husband did this. They'd been together since junior high; broke up senior year of college so he could sow some wild oats & got back together about 2 years after college. They have been married for more than 25 years at this point. It is highly unusual though. What do you think made it work? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 26, 2017 Share Posted April 26, 2017 What do you think made it work? They both grew up, they worked incredibly hard to get past their issues & they had lots of faith. They are both deeply religious & loyal. Once they took vows I knew neither would break them. They also learned to accept each other's faults. He stopped trying to cage her free spirit & she stopped trying to turn him into an athlete. They also learned to trust & they occasionally do things separately when life / work doesn't allow their schedules to mesh. They realized "I have to work" is not code for "I don't love you or I don't care about you." It just means they have to work. He's a doctor so he can't exactly control when an emergency will arise. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Taticake Posted April 26, 2017 Author Share Posted April 26, 2017 My ex and I are in a difficult situation. He is very happy with me and thinks I'm an amazing girlfriend. However he has never been with anyone else before and this is our first relationship together. He is willing to throw away what we had right now to find out what's out there because he doesn't have anything to compare us to and before he wants to make the decision to marry me he wanted to see what it's like. I just wanted to know what are the chances we could get back together if we both love each other even when we broke up? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 26, 2017 Share Posted April 26, 2017 My ex and I are in a difficult situation. He is very happy with me and thinks I'm an amazing girlfriend. However he has never been with anyone else before and this is our first relationship together. He is willing to throw away what we had right now to find out what's out there because he doesn't have anything to compare us to and before he wants to make the decision to marry me he wanted to see what it's like. I just wanted to know what are the chances we could get back together if we both love each other even when we broke up? I mis-understood. I though you already broke up & were now back together & wondering if this could work. Hence I said maybe. Now at this stage when this young guy is throwing you away, the chances are highly unlikely. Buy a lottery ticket. Your odds of winning are better. He's not coming back. People rarely come back. Do not count on him coming back. You are broken up. You pull the trigger & formalize it. Make it an ultimatum if you have to: date me now or go sow your wild oats but stop feeding me BS about the future. Instead let him go. Know you are a great catch (even he said so). Go out & date somebody who is smart enough to know what he has in you. Link to post Share on other sites
Pollyannaslim Posted May 3, 2017 Share Posted May 3, 2017 Hi. I hope you have had a great week and were able to gain some clarity! Personally, I feel that if 2 people hope to have a future together, they should nurture the relationship and take the necessary steps to build a strong foundation. Often times a local church will hold a workshop for young couples for this very purpose. Do you think your boyfriend would be willing to attend something like this with you? In this type of setting you will be with other’s who too are embarking on a new journey. Being part of a group, listening to others experiences, fears, etc may quite possibly help you each better understand any uncertainties regarding commitment. I wish you only the best and will keep you all in my prayers! May God bless you and cover you with His peace! Link to post Share on other sites
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