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Thinking of contacting my ex


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Hello everyone,

 

We were together a year and a half.

 

He broke up with me 1 year ago. I understand why we fell apart. We both played our role. Poor communication.

 

We've been in no contact for almost 5 months.

 

The last time we spoke my ex phoned me after hearing i was moving to Australia. We spoke for over an hour. It was fun, the chemistry was still there. He said he wanted to see me. He had been dreaming about me, and said he still had feelings for me etc. I agreed at first but i was hesitant. The meeting didn't happen and he ended up saying it would be "Too hard" to say goodbye.

 

I left and i am still in travelling but i am returning to my city for a few months at the end of April. I have had the most amazing 6 months of my life!!!

 

As i said, i will be back in Scotland where we are both living, and i am having the urge to reach out.

 

Thoughts?

 

Thank you in advance :)

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If you think that you fixed the things that went wrong the 1st time go ahead & reach out. If those issues weren't resolved, you are only going back to something that wasn't working so what's the point?

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If you think that you fixed the things that went wrong the 1st time go ahead & reach out. If those issues weren't resolved, you are only going back to something that wasn't working so what's the point?

 

Thank you for your response.

 

I can safely say the issues are resolved, and i feel healed.

 

I was thinking about it today and i don't want to get back with him. I do think it was a good thing that we broke up. I could even go as far as saying i would be pleased for him if he is in a new relationship and happy, because he deserves it.

 

I think i want to reach out simply because it would be nice and i'll be in the country.

 

Also, i think i don't want to think of me as being "in no contact". I did no contact and it served its purpose. It was very hard but it worked! I'm healed. I am not "in no contact" anymore. Does that make sense?

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I guess i didn't notice that over the last few weeks that i was getting over him. I was so used to feeling like i was heartbroken that i didn't stop to check if i still was.

 

I know that i decided i had to forgive him, and me, and us for what happened a few weeks ago. It was liberating. And at one point i would have thought impossible.

 

I guess this post should be in a healing or "Coping" and not in "Second Chances" :/

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So, i messaged me ex from a year ago this evening. Its just a one liner :) Just a friendly message. Low expectations he'll respond any time soon but i am glad i put it out there.

 

And,

 

My ex from 12 years ago has been in touch (my first bf). We speak every so often. We have agreed we should meet for a catch up in April. How lovely!!!! Its so nice that we can be friends after all these years.

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So, i messaged me ex from a year ago this evening. Its just a one liner :) Just a friendly message. Low expectations he'll respond any time soon but i am glad i put it out there.

 

And,

 

My ex from 12 years ago has been in touch (my first bf). We speak every so often. We have agreed we should meet for a catch up in April. How lovely!!!! Its so nice that we can be friends after all these years.

 

 

Maybe you & I have different definitions of friends. I see my friends often & talk to them about everything. I have very tight boundaries about what I'm willing to discuss with an EX.

 

 

I see 3 of my EXs periodically.

 

 

My high school BF lives in my neighborhood. DH & him actually became friendly. Understand, this happened at my 25th HS reunion. Maybe 2-3 times of year we get together as couples to see another mutual friend's band play. At best I'd classify him as an acquaintance.

 

 

The other 2 guys I met in grad school. We are all in the same profession. Crossing paths is inevitable. We have 2 minute conversations about how's the family & then all talk is limited to essential work related subjects. These were significant adult relationships; marriage was discusses extensively before the break ups. Still neither of these men are my friends years later. They are colleagues I dated another lifetime ago.

 

 

Be careful about going backwards in life.

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Maybe you & I have different definitions of friends. I see my friends often & talk to them about everything. I have very tight boundaries about what I'm willing to discuss with an EX.

 

 

I see 3 of my EXs periodically.

 

 

My high school BF lives in my neighborhood. DH & him actually became friendly. Understand, this happened at my 25th HS reunion. Maybe 2-3 times of year we get together as couples to see another mutual friend's band play. At best I'd classify him as an acquaintance.

 

 

The other 2 guys I met in grad school. We are all in the same profession. Crossing paths is inevitable. We have 2 minute conversations about how's the family & then all talk is limited to essential work related subjects. These were significant adult relationships; marriage was discusses extensively before the break ups. Still neither of these men are my friends years later. They are colleagues I dated another lifetime ago.

 

 

Be careful about going backwards in life.

 

 

I don't get to talk to all my friends often as i travel a lot.

 

Thanks for sharing.

 

Its not backwards at all. I am entering one of the best years of my life! I hold my first ex very dear. We were just teens when we met. I realise i am lucky in that we have stayed in touch.

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