czen Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 Hi everyone, here's my story: Had a relationship of a few years, lived together for a while, things went well for a long time but in the end we broke up. My heart was not in it anymore and I did some things that hurt the relationship such as being selfish and inconsiderate on a consistent basis, spending all my time with friends and other girls, kissed someone else, did not come home on time, etc. It created a lot of distrust in me from her side and while she still wanted to make it work, I called it quits. I thought it wasn't working between us anymore and we were not a good match, otherwise I would not have done the things I did. She was a great girl, but just not for me. Now some months after, I have done quite a bit of soul searching and I can see I was a jerk to her and I never want to become that person again, I let both myself and her down. I've been talking to her more again (we still live together as we still have a lease for half a year) and now it has gotten me wondering: should I have broken up with her? Was I the sole issue in the relationship and would it work again now I figured myself out more? Or would those flaws resurface again if I get with her? I am not sure. Maybe it also is just nostalgia. I remember having an abusive ex and after we broke up I was happy for a while, but then I started remembering all the good parts about her and was wondering if I was wrong about breaking up since it was just me failing her. Luckily I did not get back with her that time, but it makes me somewhat afraid of getting back with my ex. Complicating factor is that I also met someone else. Things have been going well, but I feel that I need to make a decision. I cannot fully give myself to this new girl if a part of me still wonders about my ex and if it could work. But I also don't want to forsake this new person because I have nostalgic feeling about an ex. Anyone have any insight? Link to post Share on other sites
kztar Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 continue soul searching. You are NOT ready for a relationship with either woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Author czen Posted January 13, 2017 Author Share Posted January 13, 2017 continue soul searching. You are NOT ready for a relationship with either woman. Thanks for the advice but...why? What tells you I am not ready? Link to post Share on other sites
Frogwife Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 Thanks for the advice but...why? What tells you I am not ready? Hi everyone, here's my story: Had a relationship of a few years, lived together for a while, things went well for a long time but in the end we broke up. My heart was not in it anymore and I did some things that hurt the relationship such as being selfish and inconsiderate on a consistent basis, spending all my time with friends and other girls, kissed someone else, did not come home on time, etc. It created a lot of distrust in me from her side and while she still wanted to make it work, I called it quits. I thought it wasn't working between us anymore and we were not a good match, otherwise I would not have done the things I did. She was a great girl, but just not for me. Now some months after, I have done quite a bit of soul searching and I can see I was a jerk to her and I never want to become that person again, I let both myself and her down. I've been talking to her more again (we still live together as we still have a lease for half a year) and now it has gotten me wondering: should I have broken up with her? Was I the sole issue in the relationship and would it work again now I figured myself out more? Or would those flaws resurface again if I get with her? I am not sure. Maybe it also is just nostalgia. I remember having an abusive ex and after we broke up I was happy for a while, but then I started remembering all the good parts about her and was wondering if I was wrong about breaking up since it was just me failing her. Luckily I did not get back with her that time, but it makes me somewhat afraid of getting back with my ex. Complicating factor is that I also met someone else. Things have been going well, but I feel that I need to make a decision. I cannot fully give myself to this new girl if a part of me still wonders about my ex and if it could work. But I also don't want to forsake this new person because I have nostalgic feeling about an ex. Anyone have any insight? See above (10 characters) Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 Nothing has really changed has it? Your mind was elsewhere, you were talking to other girls whilst with your ex, and now you are with another girl your mind is elsewhere again and you are talking to your ex. YOU are not relationship material. Leave your ex and this other girl alone. You will only break their hearts. Link to post Share on other sites
MSB123 Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 My vote would be to take sometime to yourself. It's a huge world - go explore it. You'll figure out what you really want. TrAvel is good for the soul. It will also give you time to think Nd figure out what you really want. Even if you don't do anything take some time for yourself. Did you have a break between relationships? Or bounce from one to the next? Link to post Share on other sites
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