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What do I do next with ex girlfriend?


Second Chances Called it off but doubting the decision now? Someone wants you back? Let us know about it!

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Old 8th January 2017, 4:16 PM   #1
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What do I do next with ex girlfriend?

About 5 weeks ago my ex of 2.5 years dumped me saying she's not happy anymore. We were having a rough time towards the end I lost my job was stressed and didn't treat her the best. This was the second time she dumped me. I apologized for everything I did wrong begged for the first week then gave her a little space not much. She continues to tell me how happy she is without me but I know she has been isolating herself at home. Two weeks after the breakup she wanted to meet up so we did we talked and she continued to tell me she doesn't see us together but she still loves me and cares about me we ended up making out that night. She told me she misses my kind loving heart and maybe in the future we could get back together. We continued to text after that she told me all about her birthday how and how her dad was doing after surgery. On Christmas Day we texted a little she seemed happy to talk to me then out of the blue she says she needs space but I didn't do what I should have done and give her space. I continued to pester her and she got mad at me a week ago telling me not to contact her and to leave her alone. I finally got the message and did that haven't contacted her for a week the longest we have ever gone. Today I randomly went on her Instagram page and liked a photo literally a second later she started following me again. I'm lost is she still interested in me? Should I reach out and text her? She always told me that guys should be the one to reach out. Is she too scared to reach out to me? I'm lost any advice?
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Old 8th January 2017, 4:33 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ErikChevyLover View Post
About 5 weeks ago my ex of 2.5 years dumped me saying she's not happy anymore. We were having a rough time towards the end I lost my job was stressed and didn't treat her the best. This was the second time she dumped me. I apologized for everything I did wrong begged for the first week then gave her a little space not much. She continues to tell me how happy she is without me but I know she has been isolating herself at home. Two weeks after the breakup she wanted to meet up so we did we talked and she continued to tell me she doesn't see us together but she still loves me and cares about me we ended up making out that night. She told me she misses my kind loving heart and maybe in the future we could get back together. We continued to text after that she told me all about her birthday how and how her dad was doing after surgery. On Christmas Day we texted a little she seemed happy to talk to me then out of the blue she says she needs space but I didn't do what I should have done and give her space. I continued to pester her and she got mad at me a week ago telling me not to contact her and to leave her alone. I finally got the message and did that haven't contacted her for a week the longest we have ever gone. Today I randomly went on her Instagram page and liked a photo literally a second later she started following me again. I'm lost is she still interested in me? Should I reach out and text her? She always told me that guys should be the one to reach out. Is she too scared to reach out to me? I'm lost any advice?
Leave her alone and worry about you and resolve your problems. If you are codependent its not worth rebuilding the relationship. Your girl has options so let her have her options.

How old are you two?
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Old 8th January 2017, 4:39 PM   #3
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We're both 21
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Old 8th January 2017, 9:34 PM   #4
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She likely has GIGS. Grass is greener syndrome. Search it up on here. Homebrew has a great thread on it. Just ignore her. Absolutely NO CONTACT. no emotions, no neediness, no texts, no FB nothing. Then search no contact stuff. Trust me.
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Old 8th January 2017, 9:41 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by ErikChevyLover View Post
I continued to pester her and *she got mad at me a week ago telling me not to contact her and to leave her alone. I finally got the message and did that haven't contacted her for a week the longest we have ever gone. *I'm lost any advice?
*Do exactly what she's asked of you.

Anything else will have a negative outcome.


Take care.
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Old 8th January 2017, 11:37 PM   #6
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I'd give her space and see what she does next. And then if you get a third chance, you better stop messing up and then apologizing, because an apology doesn't make it all better at all. Stop messing up. Treat her like you'd want to be treated. This could go either way. She knows she needs to move on, but it's hard. Give her space and see what happens.
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Old 9th January 2017, 12:27 AM   #7
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Block her and stay away !!
She told you herself
Nothing anyone here will make her change her mind and I assure you that if she wants you back you will be the first one to know
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Old 9th January 2017, 12:41 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ErikChevyLover View Post
About 5 weeks ago my ex of 2.5 years dumped me saying she's not happy anymore. We were having a rough time towards the end I lost my job was stressed and didn't treat her the best. This was the second time she dumped me. I apologized for everything I did wrong begged for the first week then gave her a little space not much. She continues to tell me how happy she is without me but I know she has been isolating herself at home. Two weeks after the breakup she wanted to meet up so we did we talked and she continued to tell me she doesn't see us together but she still loves me and cares about me we ended up making out that night. She told me she misses my kind loving heart and maybe in the future we could get back together. We continued to text after that she told me all about her birthday how and how her dad was doing after surgery. On Christmas Day we texted a little she seemed happy to talk to me then out of the blue she says she needs space but I didn't do what I should have done and give her space. I continued to pester her and she got mad at me a week ago telling me not to contact her and to leave her alone. I finally got the message and did that haven't contacted her for a week the longest we have ever gone. Today I randomly went on her Instagram page and liked a photo literally a second later she started following me again. I'm lost is she still interested in me? Should I reach out and text her? She always told me that guys should be the one to reach out. Is she too scared to reach out to me? I'm lost any advice?
Im going to be straight up with you and you aren't going to like this.

She's done with you. For now at least, maybe forever. Considering this is you second breakup she has built up a lot of reasons for her not wanting to be with you anymore and there may not be anything you can do to shake that image. Your only chance, and I mean only chance of having a shot with her is becoming a ghost. Remove her and block her on Instagram, Facebook, phone numbers etc. You really shot yourself in the foot by begging for her back and still being around like this...this comes off needy and desperate. Meeting with her to talk also was a mistake as that helped her feel better at the expense of you. But you aren't going to become a ghost for her, you're going to become a ghost for you.

If you keep her on social media you're going to start seeing things you don't want to see. It's going to hurt you. At this point you need to protect yourself and the only way to do this is NC.

When you do cut her off, she may reach out to you. If she does post here and don't respond. Unless she comes begging for you back, I wouldn't bother even entertaining a response to her. She's probably going to be testing the waters to make sure you don't hate her and you're still around as her plan C.

Most importantly, any action besides no contact with her will ruin any marginal chance you have at her coming back at all. No amount of begging, pleading, changing, words or actions will make her change the way she feels towards you. Her feelings are gone at this point and there is nothing you can do to change it.
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Old 9th January 2017, 12:48 AM   #9
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Acting needy, clingy, pestering makes you look weak and unnattractive.

No contact is your best friend.

For gods sake don't write her a letter pouring your heart out.
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Old 9th January 2017, 2:57 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by lauri View Post
Im going to be straight up with you and you aren't going to like this.

She's done with you. For now at least, maybe forever. Considering this is you second breakup she has built up a lot of reasons for her not wanting to be with you anymore and there may not be anything you can do to shake that image. Your only chance, and I mean only chance of having a shot with her is becoming a ghost. Remove her and block her on Instagram, Facebook, phone numbers etc. You really shot yourself in the foot by begging for her back and still being around like this...this comes off needy and desperate. Meeting with her to talk also was a mistake as that helped her feel better at the expense of you. But you aren't going to become a ghost for her, you're going to become a ghost for you.

If you keep her on social media you're going to start seeing things you don't want to see. It's going to hurt you. At this point you need to protect yourself and the only way to do this is NC.

When you do cut her off, she may reach out to you. If she does post here and don't respond. Unless she comes begging for you back, I wouldn't bother even entertaining a response to her. She's probably going to be testing the waters to make sure you don't hate her and you're still around as her plan C.

Most importantly, any action besides no contact with her will ruin any marginal chance you have at her coming back at all. No amount of begging, pleading, changing, words or actions will make her change the way she feels towards you. Her feelings are gone at this point and there is nothing you can do to change it.
This! She broke up with you so she needs to be the one to reach out. Go NC and block her on everything. If she wants you back you'll know it. And anything other then "I made a mistake. I want to work on our relationship." Is just breadcrumbs and attention seeking. Give her what she wants. Heal and move on. The old relationship is over.
Be well.
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Old 9th January 2017, 3:22 AM   #11
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Turn your back and walk away, unless you enjoy how you feel when she tells you she doesn't want to be with you. Block her from everything you do online. That way, you won't obsess over what a "like" means.

She's told you everything you need to know about the future she sees with you. Now all you have to do is believe her, and act accordingly.
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Old 17th February 2017, 10:43 AM   #12
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next?

So me and my ex broke up 3 months ago. She left me saying she's losing feelings for me. We were together for 2.5 years. I feel she fell out of love because our relationship got toxic towards the end and I didn't put effort into the relationship and took her for granted. I never cheated though always stayed loyal to her we just argued a lot towards the end. About 3 weeks after breaking up we met the day before her birthday we talked kissed a little and I gave her something for her birthday. After that everything just went down hill. I didn't give her space and was down her throat. She kept telling me to leave her alone but I didn't and things just got more toxic. About a month ago we met and it was very short and was just a yelling match after that I went no contact for two weeks. I reached out again because I felt bad and wanted to reconcile she told me to leave her alone and move on then she blocked my number. I then blocked her off my Facebook which come to find out she's been stalking on a daily basis. Two days later I get off work and I get a message saying meet me at a certain time and we can talk so we did. We just talked casually at first then started apologizing. Things got kinda weird and I didn't expect it. I kept looking at her with a smile then she would avoid eye contact and smile and blush. She held my hand while we talked and I could tell she wanted to kiss me. So after about 2 hours just sitting in my truck she says she better leave before we end up kissing and I said ok. She went into her truck and started balling her eyes so I got into her truck and tried to comfort her. Then I lost it too and started crying. She said that she didn't think it would be that hard to see me. We ended up hugging each other for awhile and making out a little. Now I'm confused she told me since breaking up she doesn't love me now I feel she really does love me. After kissing she said she had to go and that she'll see me later. That was 4 days ago haven't heard anything since. She also told me she's been crying herself to sleep thinking about me. My question is what should I do now does she truly love me or is it just a relapse? Do I have a good chance with her?

Last edited by ErikChevyLover; 17th February 2017 at 10:53 AM..
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