Straziin Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 (edited) Ex girlfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago cause I broke her heart and that i made small errors in our relationship that kept adding up. I mean she did some bad things as well but I forgave her. It wasn't any bad things I did just small things and she told me she's a very emotional girl. So I NC'd her. So 5 days ago she spammed my phone saying it was such a rough past days she feels so alone and she's having anxiety at home. But when she talks to me she feels better and when she's laying next to me it feels like home. As I treated like no guy ever did. She loves me and doesn't want to lose me. She missed talking to me and wants to be friends for 'now'. Live our lives and said maybe one day she'll be open enough to have a relationship again. Been together for 6 months, I'm 21 male and she's 23 female. She also broke up with me before cause she was feeling under appreciated, but we still hung out every day so there wasn't any space apart. We got back together 5 days after. So I'm fighting for her, took her out on a date yesterday. Went okay, gave me a kiss after. She said she had a really fun time, she still wants to have sex but not till next week. Wants to take things really slow and she if she likes it. Going to send her flowers this week. It would've been also our '4 months' that day. But she's just really lonely in general, I'm her only considered friend in this city as she moves around a lot. Told me she doesn't want to be alone. She's been talking and telling me she wants to move back to Toronto in 2 months. She's saving for it and even messaging her friends she's moving back. Then is she just using me? I told her you can't use me cause you're feeling lonely or needing a friend and she told me she understands. But maybe one day down the line we'll be together again. I worked on myself I'm a better man. But if she's saying she's moving to Toronto is she giving me false hope? Why try for her when she's going to end up moving, or why say maybe one day down the line we'll be together but has a plan to move to Toronto soon? I mean she could change her mind within those 2 months but what if she doesn't? Or what if she's using to cause of loneliness until she finds another man. Cause she told me she's all I have. Wants to be friends that cuddle, be there for each other, hangout and have sex eventually. Reason for moving to Toronto is she has her motivation back for modelling but might not last. I was thinking about messaging her today saying if you're really moving to Toronto you shouldn't drag me along or me trying to fix things. When you're leaving in the long run and see what she says. But I still want to sleep with her. If she says yeah I want to move, I'll NC her that second again maybe. Was tough as hell, but she's been having a hard time healing with it as well. So any thoughts? She once told me she's moving to Toronto before and ended things the first month we started seeing each other then she decided to stay and then came back to me after month of NC and her seeing other guys. I love her and she loves me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Edited November 23, 2016 by Straziin Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 Then is she just using me? Yes. She is moving away soon but int he meantime she feels lonely and cold so she is using you to alleviate that in the short term. But if she's saying she's moving to Toronto is she giving me false hope? No, you're generating the false hope all on your own. She has told you what the situation is. She has told you she doesn't want a relationship with you. It's you who's generating the false hope because you're not listening to the words she is saying. why say maybe one day down the line we'll be together To make the split and the loneliness less painful. I was thinking about messaging her today saying if you're really moving to Toronto you shouldn't drag me along or me trying to fix things. When you're leaving in the long run and see what she says. Yes, that sounds like a solid plan to me. You need to know her plans. "Maybe one day" is not good enough. You should talk to her and get some definates. And listen to, and believe, what she says. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Straziin Posted November 23, 2016 Author Share Posted November 23, 2016 Thanks for the quick reply. Yes that does add up, I'll ask her today if she's serious on moving back to Toronto. Then I'll just hard NC her, I just didn't want to come off as needy or pushy. Was going give a week and if there's no nudge or difference I'll Nc her. Cause when we did hang out, she'd end up slipping calling me babe and etc. Or girlfriend stuff. I was going to ease things in but if she's planning to move to toronto it's pretty pointless then. I understand she's lonely, but if I'm there for her wouldn't she like that. She already told me she adores me being there for her under the circumstances. As she's having rank panic attacks without me and I never heard of her having those things before. A great plan in my head was she felt what loneliness was like, sad emotions. Then when we hung out she was non stop smiling and laughing with joy, happy emotions. If she sees I go NC again those sad emotions will come straight back, then she'll miss me more then even. Practically begging me back. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 Thoughts? The story you told is all well and good but it's just that. An imaginary story. How well it matches up with the truth is totally unknown to you. If I were you I'd find out the following hard facts before entertaining any more flights into fantasy: a) Will she be leaving? b) If not, does she want to rekindle your relationship? c) If so, can she put a definite timeframe on when, and give good reasons why not right away? Without good solid answers to all of those, I would walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Straziin Posted November 23, 2016 Author Share Posted November 23, 2016 I'll gladly find that out Today, to see if she's moving. She'll say yeah but it's hard to say, if I carry on she might stay. As last time she said she's moving I ended things with her then she ended up staying but seeing other guys instead. I assume she wants to see if I changed and became a better man then before. I mean I didn't do anything completely wrong but there was stuff I could've worked on. So so can she. She doesn't deserve my love if I'm the only one putting in effort while she does 0%. How it seems like so far. Also maybe they realize they made a mistake for leaving me rather than test the waters first and see what changes and improvements have been made before reconciling? So wait a week out. Unless if she says yeah I'm planning to move. I'll just go straight radio silence from then. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 She'll say yeah but it's hard to say, if I carry on she might stay. Like I said, solid answers. That is not a solid answer. It's either a YES or a NO, and if it's not a solid YES then it's a NO. I assume Well don't assume. Enquire and verify. Don't accept any wishy washy answers. Anything but a solid YES, means NO. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Straziin Posted November 23, 2016 Author Share Posted November 23, 2016 Yeah her answer is yes she's still moving to Toronto. So I replied with, ahh I see so it would've been a waste of time to be anything more then friends is what you're saying. Wasting my time. Now I'm NC. Dumb girl Link to post Share on other sites
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