Do men always come back?

[Apricotjelly90]

It is a common belief that men always come back, in my case and most of my friends it has always happened. What do you guys think?

[basil67]

Come back after what situation? I would imagine that it largely depends on who dumped who and why.

[dumbass2]

If they dumped you or you dumped them? I think it makes a difference. I've never tried to go back to one I broke up with, but I did try once when I was on the other end.

[Apricotjelly90]

I didn't specify because apparently it does not matter, I've seen it go both ways, dumper and dumpee and my friend told me that, unless the breakup was very traumatic men will always eventually try to return

[ExpatInItaly]

No, they do not.

[Fair]

Yes.

 

It's not just men, people are weak/don't like to be alone/don't like to deal with the pain of leaving someone they still have feelings for even if the relationship was hopeless so they keep returning until all the feelings are finally gone and there's no fear left... as in they have finally spotted someone else who is interested in them and know it's safe to leave because there's someone else to run to...

 

I guess I have no use for people as a whole.

[Kayley]

I don't necessarily think so. I left a guy after almost 3 years. He tried to come back. Most recent ex left me a month ago, we were only together a couple of months. Not heard a word from him since going nc 24ish days ago? And highly doubt I ever will. I done all the stupid begging etc. Had I not done that maybe he would have, I don't know

[Superchicken]

If its a stupid ass argument that broke up the relationship then yes.

However, if it was cheating on her behalf, at least for this "Sane" and normal person "HELL NO". But yes, if it was the other way around (Sorry I am two faced on this)..

 

Maybe its a common belief because men find it harder to find another female. While, women find it easier to find another man..

So after some time, the man, having little prospect, seeks that, that he once had.

 

 

 

Ted.

Edited November 23, 2016 by Superchicken

[PegNosePete]

It is foolish to generalize about an entire sub-section of society, and say they always do something. Whether it's men, women, millennials, old folks, black people, white people, gay people, short people, tall people. There will be many people who behave as you indicate, and many who don't.

 

Now do you really want to discuss whether all men will act in a certain way, or do you want to ask about one man in particular? If the latter then it would certainly be sensible to give a lot more detail of your particular case, rather than asking about an entire 50% of the population.

[elaine567]

If a man breaks up with you because he is no longer emotionally invested or you cheated on him or you were fighting all the tine, or he has a new gf then do not expect him to come back as your bf.

He may come back if he is at a loose end and he wants sex, or he wants you as a fwb or a shoulder to cry on, but NOT as your bf.

Few men want to be truly friends with exes, they often have an agenda, so be careful.

 

If you dumped him or he is still very much in love and wants you back, then of course he will try to come back as your bf.

He will not be interested in being friends and any other "games" you may wish to play with him, will then be cruel

[stillafool]

Why OP, are you waiting for a man to come back to you?

[Apricotjelly90]

I am aware this is a generalization but what I'm trying to understand is why this generalization exists and what I've seen in my experience is there's a pattern and it seems to be related to GIGS. In my case:

 

Dated a guy for 2 months, I was very much infatuated with, he told me he didnt want a relationship, turns out he didn't want a relationship with me, when I found out we had a nasty argument over the phone. 4 months later I ran into him and he spent weeks crawling after me. I had moved on.

 

My cousin's had 3 partners, they all left her in ugly terms or ghosted her completely, all begged her back eventually. She'd moved on.

 

My best friend dated her ex for 2 years, they were always fighting so he broke it off, she begged for him back but he asked her to respect her wishes. 6 months later they got back in touch and now he's trying to get her back.

Edited November 23, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed link ~T

[Kayley]

Though apyschic told me he'd be in touch 2 weeks before Christmas! I don't believe her though lol

[Sweetfish]

I didn't specify because apparently it does not matter, I've seen it go both ways, dumper and dumpee and my friend told me that, unless the breakup was very traumatic men will always eventually try to return

 

I never ever return to the girls i dumped..

[5x5]

I've ended one marriage and dumped lots of women, without ever wanting to be with them again.

Edited November 24, 2016 by 5x5

[Gr8fuln2020]

I am aware this is a generalization but what I'm trying to understand is why this generalization exists and what I've seen in my experience is there's a pattern and it seems to be related to GIGS. In my case:

 

Dated a guy for 2 months, I was very much infatuated with, he told me he didnt want a relationship, turns out he didn't want a relationship with me, when I found out we had a nasty argument over the phone. 4 months later I ran into him and he spent weeks crawling after me. I had moved on.

 

My cousin's had 3 partners, they all left her in ugly terms or ghosted her completely, all begged her back eventually. She'd moved on.

 

My best friend dated her ex for 2 years, they were always fighting so he broke it off, she begged for him back but he asked her to respect her wishes. 6 months later they got back in touch and now he's trying to get her back.

 

Well, the answer to your question is NO. Men do not always want or do come back to their exes.

 

I broke it off with my ex and I will not being going back. Why? There were clear reasons why I broke it off in the first place. But there are other observations to make...

 

1. Who broke it off? That does matter.

2. How old are the parties in question? How old is the guy? That does matter.

3. What is the dating pool like? That does matter. If the guy can't find another woman to satisfy his needs, he goes back to the devil he knows.

4. What does the guy look like and does he have his crap together?! Many women are less likely to take on a guy who is, frankly, a moocher, not ambitious. Related to #3. If the guy is dependent on his ex to maintain his lifestyle, he is more likely to return.

5. What were the reasons for breaking it off?

6. Is a clean break possible? If there are too many obligations for the guy to just let loose, he is more likely to return.

7. How receptive is the woman to take back the guy? Too many women are satisfied with underwhelming partners rather than not having one at all.

8. Finances, etc. Related to #4,#6

 

Many things to consider. I still care for my ex, but I don't need or want anything from her. Clean break. I know and am better off w/o her. Clean break. I am, in no way, obligated to her or vice-versa. Clean break. I continue to date with some success. Clean break. No, not all men return.

[oldshirt]

It is a common belief that men always come back, in my case and most of my friends it has always happened. What do you guys think?

 

 

The devil is in the details here and we need to look real closely at what is actually taking place.

 

Did these "come back" or did they "come around" at some point after the break up?

 

There is a big difference.

 

"come back" implies that they returned with intentions of resuming some kind of actual relationship.

 

"come around" is basically where they pick up a 12-pack and a carton of cigarettes and show up in the middle of the night for what is essentially a booty call.

 

Men 'come around' after break ups all the time. Sometimes even after years of being apart and being in other relationships or even marriages.

 

On the other hand, it is pretty rare for men to ever actually "come back." It's happened of course but the vast vast majority of what people think is coming back is actually coming around.

[oldshirt]

also, it is very rare for a man to formally break up with a woman. Men usually either do some kind of fade-out and just kind of fade away or a period of time, or they just add another woman/women into the mix. It's actually uncommon for them to formally announce an actual break up.

 

If they do formally break up, it usually means the end and they rarely come back ('come around' is a whole other story)

 

So as was mentioned above, who initiated the break up is an important factor.

 

If the guy initiated the break up, the chance of truly getting back together in any kind of healthy, happy, LTR is very very small.

[Rainah]

I've had a small handful of guys who have come back but not seeking of getting back together. One of them I wanted back but he didn't want me back, even though he was flirting with me, I was like why get in contact with me then if you don't want me back? Ego boost? I played the rules to try win him back but with no luck, so I've given up on that lost hope and cut him out of my life for the millionth time, never understood how people can get their exs back.

[Saracena]

also, it is very rare for a man to formally break up with a woman. Men usually either do some kind of fade-out and just kind of fade away or a period of time, or they just add another woman/women into the mix. It's actually uncommon for them to formally announce an actual break up..

 

True.Why is this though?

[basil67]

Of the guys I've dumped, only one has wanted me back. I think the rest knew that the relationship was pretty much done and so they moved on.

[PrettyEmily77]

Yeah, some people do try and 'come back' out of boredom / loneliness / lack of self-respect / suddenly 'seeing the light' / for the sex / addiction to drama.

 

Whatever the reasons, they shouldn't. Mostly because it's a doomed idea.

[Saracena]

Whatever the reasons, they shouldn't. Mostly because it's a doomed idea.

 

Not always true. I have to say, at this point, I know lots of couples who broke-up and later reconciled, some of whom later went on to get married! l've always believed pride and hurt combined with a break-down in communication (which can quite often, by itself be the sole reason for many break-ups in the first place) can actually prevent [/i what could otherwise be successful reconciations. Heck, I think we've all known of couples who are [i]clearly interested but who are not effectively communicating. I know I have!

 

For this reason, and from personal experience, I don't always agree with the almost standard response of 'Move on' as it's not always appropriate in every situation.

[LargoLagg]

I am aware this is a generalization but what I'm trying to understand is why this generalization exists and what I've seen in my experience is there's a pattern and it seems to be related to GIGS. In my case:

 

Dated a guy for 2 months, I was very much infatuated with, he told me he didnt want a relationship, turns out he didn't want a relationship with me, when I found out we had a nasty argument over the phone. 4 months later I ran into him and he spent weeks crawling after me. I had moved on.

 

My cousin's had 3 partners, they all left her in ugly terms or ghosted her completely, all begged her back eventually. She'd moved on.

 

My best friend dated her ex for 2 years, they were always fighting so he broke it off, she begged for him back but he asked her to respect her wishes. 6 months later they got back in touch and now he's trying to get her back.

The generalization exists because your sample size is tiny and just happens to have all the same outcomes. It means nothing. Some come back, some don't. You never know which kind the last man in your life will be.

[jorgeg3d]

I am aware this is a generalization but what I'm trying to understand is why this generalization exists and what I've seen in my experience is there's a pattern and it seems to be related to GIGS. In my case:

 

Dated a guy for 2 months, I was very much infatuated with, he told me he didnt want a relationship, turns out he didn't want a relationship with me, when I found out we had a nasty argument over the phone. 4 months later I ran into him and he spent weeks crawling after me. I had moved on.

 

My cousin's had 3 partners, they all left her in ugly terms or ghosted her completely, all begged her back eventually. She'd moved on.

 

My best friend dated her ex for 2 years, they were always fighting so he broke it off, she begged for him back but he asked her to respect her wishes. 6 months later they got back in touch and now he's trying to get her back.

 

 

I think it depends on who dumped who. If you got dumped, you should never try to go back. The person who dumped you should try to re-initiate contact at some point, if they want to try it out again. I think its the self respect thing for those who got dumped, to not chase.

Edited December 3, 2016 by jorgeg3d