Again?

[Jaydilla]

Hi Shackers

 

Just need some perspective on my current situation. GF broke it off 3 months ago, i asked for NC and we both seemed to go about it quite good. NC is NC and no words have been spoken.

 

Current situation: im coping well, and have been out on a few dates, nothing special but always nice to meet new people at least. Maybe my mindset goin into those dates werent exactly to 'close the deal' but merely have a good time.

But i would lie if i said i didnt miss my ex, but she is not my mainfocus at all during the day, i have plenty other things to do than worry her. Sometimes she just strokes my mind, but thats normal i guess, but i try not to dwell on it.

 

This sunday i recieved an email from her, sayin that she misses me, thinks about me, wishes me all the best, thanks me for being a great BF and always hold a special place in her heart etc. She finish of by saying if i dont want to hear from her again its ok, but she feels it would be good to look into eachothers eyes and share a laugh or 2.

 

I was quite baffled to even hear from her. I decided not to answer because the mail was a bit cryptic (read: no clear intend of he mail).

 

Then today i recieve and txt on my cell, asking me out to play pool (we met that way in the first place) still i didnt answer because again, no clear intend of the message aswell.

 

Well it sorta kicked me in the groin tbh. I was coping, I was doin better, now she 'forced' me into think about a response or decoding her words, which annoys me quite a lot. Would i take her back in a heartbeat? yes. But reality is we are not together, and i cant force her decisions, i do not that try to either. but decoding the underlying message is hard, why would she contact me at all?

 

Breadcrumbs? Wants me back? Checking in to see how i am? Being polite?

Maybe i am missing something?

 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[JewelD]

If you're doing NC the right way, she wouldn't be able to send you messages that cause all this confusion in the first place. Block.

[angel.eyes]

Part of NC is blocking the other person (phone, social media, etc.). Then you aren't swirling in confusion, and being reeled backwards in the recovery process as you're now experiencing. You broke up for a reason. Responding to her when she reaches out erratically will ultimately just bring more disappointment and hurt. You aren't a yo-yo on her string.

 

Why was she not blocked when you went NC???

 

Block her!

[Jaydilla]

Errhhh ok....i deleted her number from my phone, and im not on facebook.

[JewelD]

Errhhh ok....i deleted her number from my phone, and im not on facebook.

 

Deleting and blocking are not the same thing. You have to block all forms of communication, including email/text. Otherwise you're going to get sucked back in.

[Jaydilla]

ok so this it turning into the 'did i do nc correct?' if the only advice here is u should have blocked her, well every thread here is useless. I am not asking about NC was counterproductive because i didnt block her.

[JewelD]

ok so this it turning into the 'did i do nc correct?' if the only advice here is u should have blocked her, well every thread here is useless. I am not asking about NC was counterproductive because i didnt block her.

 

If you don't want to move on and cut contact, why bother with your version of NC in the first place? Nobody knows what your ex is thinking or what she wants, probably nothing important. But trying to analyze her actions and messages is going to prevent you from moving on from her. Good luck.

[angel.eyes]

If you don't want to block her so that she can't communicate with you, then you aren't really interested in NC, are you? Isn't the point of no contact, NO contact?!?

 

Fine, keep the lines of communication wide open. Why not reach out to her and engage whenever she reaches out. Enjoy that extended trip through the funhouse! Should be a barrel of laughs. Even better than the emotions you're experiencing right now when she reaches out to you...because you let her.

 

Enjoy!