Logo Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 No matter the circumstances? Link to post Share on other sites
teenyfish Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 Why would I ever want to be with someone who doesn't respect me? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
cucumber95 Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 Because his/hers love is probabaly true love and strong? but have some respect and don't be with someone who cheated on you, cheating means no respect, not caring and not loving somebody. Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 Love is not enough for a relationship to survive. Love is also an action. Cheating is also an action. So how does cheating mean that they love ? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Logo Posted October 2, 2016 Author Share Posted October 2, 2016 So something happened in the last week of our relationship that made her lose respect or lose her love for me? How can someone love me and respect me SO much one week and then cheat the next? I know she loved me. Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 How can someone love me and respect me SO much one week and then cheat the next? Hahaha... She can love you and cheat on you on the same day. There are so many reasons and forms for cheating. Cheating can happen sometimes just out of lust. Link to post Share on other sites
cucumber95 Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 Hahaha... She can love you and cheat on you on the same day. There are so many reasons and forms for cheating. Cheating can happen sometimes just out of lust. I call this BS, if somebody truly loves other person, they would think before cheating, that it would hurt the partner, if they care about partner, they won't cheat, and I don't think somebody can love and cheat at same time... maybe if somebody is confused about love then yes. Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 So something happened in the last week of our relationship that made her lose respect or lose her love for me? How can someone love me and respect me SO much one week and then cheat the next? I know she loved me. Well, you felt that she felt a certain way, but if she really loved you and respected you she would not have cheated, so the only answer could be that she at least didn't love you or did not respect you or both. Bottom line is that if cheating is something you do not approve of, then you have to have boundaries and if you do not enforce those boundaries then you loose respect and get walked all over and once you loose that respect in a romantic relationship it is extremely hard or impossible to get back. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 So something happened in the last week of our relationship that made her lose respect or lose her love for me? How can someone love me and respect me SO much one week and then cheat the next? I know she loved me. I don't think you really know her. I'd bet you never thought she'd cheat on you either, did you? Your projection of who you see her as is not who she really is. Very common. Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 I call this BS, if somebody truly loves other person, they would think before cheating, that it would hurt the partner, if they care about partner, they won't cheat, and I don't think somebody can love and cheat at same time... maybe if somebody is confused about love then yes. You say very nice words. That's what you want to believe. I don't know how old are you, but what I've said is based on long and rich experience, which you can't just dismiss by saying "I call it BS". Relationship is a very complicated thing. It's not always flow with the nice headlines they teach you when you're a child. Link to post Share on other sites
benpom Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 No matter the circumstances? My guess is it depends on why cheating happened. You can love someone while hating someone at the same time. If the other person has disrespected you, like cheating on you, then it's kind of understandable you would cheat back. But is it the right thing to do? No. Anything that involves deceiving is not right. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Logo Posted October 10, 2016 Author Share Posted October 10, 2016 She contacted me a couple of times after we split up. Were those breadcrumbs? Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 One can't assume that people cheat because they don't love their partners. Many factors can come in to play. How the cheater views the connection between love and sex, many people see sex as being separate from love. Just another activity like bowling.. while other can only have sex because they are in love. They place a higher value on sex. Most cheaters do so with the idea of not being caught, what they don't know can't hurt them, does not mean there isn't love or that feeling of being in love. With that being said, cheating is never ever an isolated incident, there are behaviors, attitudes and actions that pre date the cheating that just feels of entitlement and shows a lack of respect, again it doesn't mean there isn't love. To answer the question, I will say that once a cheater always a cheater is flawed...in fact statistically speaking the vast majority of cheating women will only do so once. The question then becomes what has she or is she willing to do to rectify the situation? Is she showing an overall change in her behavior. Does she accept responsibility and hold herself accountable? The fact that she has only contacted you a few times I would assume the answers are not favorable to a second chance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Logo Posted October 17, 2016 Author Share Posted October 17, 2016 The fact that she has only contacted you a few times I would assume the answers are not favorable to a second chance. Yes. No apologies, nothing. It's as if she did nothing wrong. She continues to contact me with random stuff that has nothing to do with the relationship. Is it her need for attention or is she just looking to pull my chain to boost her own ego? Perhaps it's her way of coping? Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 People are selfish. That's it. Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 Yes. No apologies, nothing. It's as if she did nothing wrong. She continues to contact me with random stuff that has nothing to do with the relationship. Is it her need for attention or is she just looking to pull my chain to boost her own ego? Perhaps it's her way of coping? Cut contact. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Logo Posted October 22, 2016 Author Share Posted October 22, 2016 Why is it so hard to let go? I feel like if enough time passed we could somehow have learned from our mistakes and tried again. I know she's not in a relationship right now. Am I being unrealistic? Link to post Share on other sites
Been Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 I call BS. Once they cheat they usually do it again. And no you can't say how much you love someone have sex with someone else and then go home and lay next to that persons hat you "love" like nothing happened. That's 0 respect for them. I mean that's almost the most horrible thing you can do to someone and you supposedly "love them"? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Logo Posted October 22, 2016 Author Share Posted October 22, 2016 You're right. I was feeling down on myself and had a moment of weakness. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Logo Posted October 23, 2016 Author Share Posted October 23, 2016 I can't believe I was a gentleman to her until the very end. Sometimes I feel like getting her on the phone and giving her a piece of my mind and calling her the names that she deserves to be called for what she did. But I know she's not worth it and I know that I'm better than that and better than her. She has no self-respect, no integrity and no dignity. It was a good life lesson. The trick is to recognize the red flags early on and realize that you're with a piece of trash that doesn't deserve to be treated with an ounce of respect, a piece of trash that doesn't deserve anyone's time of day. She fools people around her, at work and in social circles, because she acts like a goody good girl. She gives the impression that she is generous and good hearted. But it's all an act and she does it whenever it serves her own self-interest. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Logo Posted October 24, 2016 Author Share Posted October 24, 2016 I feel bad talking about her like that, despite what she did. Why is it such a f***ing mess? I feel like a pendulum that keeps swinging, back and forth. Link to post Share on other sites
Been Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 Sooner or latter she will expose who she really is. It eventually comes out and people will see it. I've dated people like that to-everybody thinks they are so wonderful because in public they keep up that appearance. And without a doubt people eventually see who they really are. Don't let her change you. If your a gentleman stay that way. Don't let her take that from you. Right now your angry. At her and maybe at yourself-usually the red flags are there but we get so head over heels we ignore them then it blows up on us. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Been Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 Relationships are not complicated. Sure they require work but you shouldn't have to worry about someone your seeing cheating on you. People cheat for one reason:for themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 Why anyone would want to give a cheater a second chance boggles my mind. I wont knock anyone who does but as for me, it's one and done. Why I would want to go through the hurt and pain again doesn't agree with me. It's like touching a hot stove. Most learn the first time around. Link to post Share on other sites
Been Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 Because they are dealing with manipulators. People who they trusted who in essence couldn't care less about them but they know what to say. Think about it. They leave you for someone else. Your hurting,angry, alone. They all the sudden show back up in your life. They tell you I didn't realize what I had until I wasn't with you. And the real reason I cheated on you was because I was so scared of you-your so perfect and I couldn't handle it. But now knowing what I have I will NEVER cheat on you again. At this point you are just happy they are talking to you. Your not thinking about anything other then getting them back. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts