LDR GF of 1.5 Ended Our Relationship. Do I have a Second Chance?

[jayaway]

So my story begins with my LDR girlfriend of 1.5 years breaking up with me 2 weeks ago. It was very heartbreaking. At the time I was not sure why this happen. She said that her feelings of me changed and that LDR is getting really hard for her. We have had plans that we would be able to live together, but it would not happen for another 6 months to a year, and I feel the LDR is slowly taking a toll on her is because her feelings for me has changed. She also mentioned that I was the least experience guy she's been with, her being my first girlfriend and she has always dated guys a few years older than her.

 

The two weeks have been hard, but I'm slowly coming to terms with all of the event. I reevaluated our relationship realized that I was being too clingy. The following weeks before the break up, I was a bit uncertain and uneasy and crowded her too much. She had a lot going on for her that week and I selfishly try to impose on her. I asked her if there was anything wrong and she basically told me what she felt.

 

I tried NC but had a few slip ups. The following day after the initial break up, I again stupidly try to make her reconsider, but to no avail she said she doesn’t feel ready to continue this relationship. I know I messed up and I should have waited and gathered composure, but I really care for this girl and want to make things right.

 

After that I waited about a week and contacted her and ask her how her day was going. She replied well and said she's doing good and asked about my day as well. Later that night she gave me a phone call and told me she wanted to remain friends and I asked her if there was any real problem with out relationship. She told me nothing was wrong with me, but she's been slowly falling out of love and after much thought, believed this is the best solution.

 

I told her I understand where's she's coming from, that I don't agree with her, but have come to accept her answer. All of this happened last Saturday, so it's been a good 4 days. I don't plan on contacting her until after I learn to be happy by myself.

 

I definitely can see how I behave at the end of our relationship to be different than how I was at the beginning. I was a pretty confident individual and I eventually become insecure and clingy which I believe is the main reason why I drove her away. Being LDR I know it's hard, but I want to show her that I could/have changed and win her affection again.

 

She has been with about 3 other guys in the past, all of them pursued her and she eventually caved and dated. I was her first boy friend that she openly had interest in and we started talking so I guess I might have a stronger connection than her other ex. And even though she's the dumper, I think she's taking this break up hard as well. I finally changed all of my social media pictures (fb,instagram,twitter) of our couple picture to another one, but she has yet to change hers. She uses social media on a daily basis as it involves her job.

 

Again this was my first relationship so I was inexperience in gauging how fast we were moving and when to back off on certain issues. I know the odds aren't in my favor, but I hope to be able to learn to be happy with myself and then try and revisit on my relationship.

 

I apologize for the long text, but I would like some advise. It is obvious that I want to win her back some how and I know it will not be soon. I don't want to rule out the possibility that we will never reconcile again and start anew.

 

What do you guys think? Are my chances really stacked against me? Is this all a lost cause? Or should I just go with the flow and take this one step at a time?

 

Thanks!

 

tldr; ldr gf broke up with me 2 weeks ago. I want her back, but realize I have to learn to be happy with myself before I can get with her. Any advice for my situation?

[gaig]

You know the answer yourself.. Distance.

 

If she sees you tomorrow settled in her area, her whole world would turn upside down. That's exactly where I am coming from; had a girl asking me every night to go live with her. I didn't, she broke, now it's late.

 

So, think if it is worth it.

 

(are you sure there is no third person involved? It is difficult to know in ldr)

[jayaway]

You know the answer yourself.. Distance.

 

If she sees you tomorrow settled in her area, her whole world would turn upside down. That's exactly where I am coming from; had a girl asking me every night to go live with her. I didn't, she broke, now it's late.

 

So, think if it is worth it.

 

(are you sure there is no third person involved? It is difficult to know in ldr)

 

We have talked over closing the distance. She said she was fine with moving to me,but it's difficult right now given that I will be starting school again soon to earn my Masters. If needed, I would be willing to move after I am done with school.

 

So no, I do not plan on settling down in her area any time soon. And she told me herself when she was breaking up with me that there isn't another person. Well you can never be sure, but I trust that she is telling the truth and I have no reason to think otherwise.

[ExpatInItaly]

How frequently did you spend time together in person, OP?

[jayaway]

How frequently did you spend time together in person, OP?

 

We llive in different countries and would visit each other for about a week every 2-3 months. Most of our communication were done through skype calls. Luckily timezone wasn't a big deal where we only had a 2 hour gap.

[gaig]

So no, I do not plan on settling down in her area any time soon.

 

I am not telling you to move together. Actually, don't do it.

I guess you are young and you are thinking right about pursuing your masters. If the bond you had was that strong, you might find each other in the future again and then close distance for good.

 

But it is a bad idea to hold on that thought. Be brave man..