My husband and I are currently separated. I've been posting on the Separation and Divorce page but Hoping to Find some support and advice on what to do now.
< Moderator note: Link to previous thread is here: My Husband Got Up And Left >
Long story, short:
We had been together almost 11 years and married almost 5 when we separated back in February 2016. In the summer of 2015 my husband was laid off from his job. He was forced to take on a lower paying job which he didn't care for. We also put having kids on hold.
In the months to follow he became depressed and distant. Then at the end of November, to early December he told me he found a job in a city nine hours away. I told him I didn't want to move. He then asked me for a divorce.
We talked a bit, and he agreed to see a therapist. He said he didn't take the job.
Fast forward to shortly after Christmas I find out he did end up taking the job and didn't know how to tell me. Anyway after fruitful talking I agreed to move for this job. We sold our house, I quit my job. We put a deposit on a house.
The day before we were suppose to move in, he had me fly down to the city to pick up the keys while he drove with our stuff through the night. When I got there I found out he cancelled the lease last minute and left me hanging dry. I flew back and immediately filed for separation (have to be separated for at least a year to get a divorced) I tried to file under the two exceptions, but judge didn't agree. So I got a legal separation from my husband.
In the months following our separation my husband had been diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder. I always thought he suffered from low self esteem and depression, but looking back it made sense. All the signs were there.
We talk occasionally. On what would have been our 5th wedding anniversary back in March, he sent me a Facebook message telling me he loved me. I blocked him. He is doing work on himself which I had told him I'm proud of. He had asked if we could try again but at this time I told him I didn't want too.
He did admit that the job in the city we were suppose to move to, backed out last minute and he didn't know how to tell me. That he got overwhelmed and thought saying nothing would be the best thing.
Which brings me to my question.
I had been told I took the separation fairly well. I got the okay from the courts to buy my own place. I bought a nice two bedroom condo. I started a second job and had started finding an interest in new things: pottery and yoga are two of them. I hang out with friends more and I'm even considering taking a make up class.
I have seen a therapist but stopped after a few sessions because it wasn't doing it for me. But some lingering issues are still hanging over my head. I miss my husband and I want to be with him. There I said it. In my head I know that would be a terrible idea. He ****ed me over royally but I miss him. I'd love to get back together with him. I want to start fresh but I'm find it so hard to detach, to let go. I have to force myself not to text him, or call him to rant and rave.
I know its only 4 months out, but it's so hard. Any advice anyone can give would be appreciated.