Ex Girlfriend broke up with me twice

[JameshernandezOVO]

Where do I begin..

 

I was recently dumped by my ex girlfriend for the second time, but let's backtrack a little.

 

May 17th 2015 is when I asked her out after 3 months of talking and we dated for a good 3 months. Everything was going well until the day before our 3 month Anniversary. She wanted to breakup because she thought I was too good for her aka she gave me the "it's me not you" line. She was a little depressed and didn't want to do long distance (she was planning on moving later that year.)

 

I was so heartbroken because everything was seeming great and all of sudden this. She had given me her Facebook password while we were dating but she never changed it after we broke up but I never got on it while we dated. Yes I did get on it after the breakup.. Im not proud but there's more.. I would see who she'd message and of the people she was messaging was her ex and she had said she wanted to work things out with him but as the conversation between them progressed, it was clear she no longer wanted anything to do with him.

 

One month after the breakup she gets in a car accident that almost killed her. She lost 3 fingers on one hand and suffered a brain injury. I never got over this girl and this accident didn't help with my recovery. I loved her.

 

So I visited her at the hospital even though she was my ex. They later moved her to a different location for specialized treatment ( to the city she was planning on moving to with her parents.). a couple months pass by and through mutual friends I was told she was progressing well and is starting to use her phone but not walking yet. When I found out she was using her phone.. I did the unthinkable.. I started to get on her Facebook again...I would see who she would search (two guys specifically she used to talk to) and I would message them thru her Facebook and make it seem like she did it herself. I wanted to see what she would say.. Again I'm not proud of this. But during her recovery we never talked or seen each other until I convinced myself to start talking to her in hopes of maybe getting back together when she's better and done with therapy.

 

So around Christmas time I professed my love for her and she told me that she's not ready but she still thinks about me. So I tried not to rush anything and we agreed to continue talking and seeing each other. After a month of talking she told me that maybe she wasn't the girl for me, she had feelings for me but she always thought I deserved better and she was willing to let me go. I respected her desicion.

 

A day later she completely changes her mind and tells me "I can't stand a life without you I want to make this work but if you don't I understand." After a week of thinking I decided yes. We dated for 2 months mostly long distance as she was still doing therapy. We had our disagreements ( I was insecure) I'd still say they were good two months despite the distance. She broke up with me because she was unhappy even tho she would tell everyday how happy I make her feel. She confessed that she knew it was me messaging those people on Facebook and in her mind she thinks that I never cared or loved her. But even tho thru the whole 2 months we dated she still knew what I had done and chose to come back and now wants to end it because of that. I did beg a little but she said there was nothing to fix.

 

We didn't speak for 5 weeks until she messaged me out of nowhere asking me if I had gotten on anything else besides Facebook and I became angry. Why would she bring this up 5 weeks later. But after that we started talking again but to not make things awkward. I still love her but she said she's completely over Me.

 

Is there still a chance? Can we become friends and hopefully she'll be interested again? Sorry for the long post.

Edited May 31, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
wall of text ~6

[Orion39]

Sorry to hear you are having a difficult time. I've had a girlfriend's facebook password before and would go through her messages when we were dating or more of a rough patch, don't remember if I ever did this when we were 100% broken up. I say that to relate and say I get why you would do this and understand the need to know what is going on.

 

While you may wonder why she waited so long to have an issue with you messaging people on her facebook, perhaps she was struggling with it. Is it a big enough deal to make an issue out of it. My guess is at first she was unsure, but as time went on and she thought about it and maybe even talked to some friends about it decided it was too much.

 

I think it may be best to move on for now, allow for some time, space and healing. Maybe sometime in the future you can come back to it, but for now don't push things and let them play out as they will.

[ExpatInItaly]

No, there isn't a chance.

 

Her interest level in you wasn't high enough to begin with, and you dated quite briefly. There's not enough of a foundation there. She likes your company but doesn't share your feelings.

 

To be very blunt, you are lucky she even gave you a second chance, knowing you had violated her privacy and pretended to be her. Seriously OP, that is unacceptable and disturbing behaviour. What the fresh heck were you thinking?

 

Let her go. You should never hang around and be friends with an ex, in the hopes their feelings will change. She doesn't see you in that way and actually told you she's over you. Believe her.