Trust issues. Is there any hope ?

[Snoopster]

I was in a wonderful relationship with a man who adored me and loved me more than I could imagine for the past 3 years up until

few months ago. We even discussed moving in together but it's worth mentioning the fact that we have 3 dogs between us was a source of friction as he wanted me to give one of mine to my ex husband . Now for what transpired that drove us apart: in December I had very suddenly became suspicious that he may be cheating on me because one day there was a sparkle on his face. He insisted that it came from a hand towel he used in an area where I had applied my makeup. While this is an entirely acceptable explanation, I continued to be suspicious from that point forward and read too much into every situation where he even so much as mentioned another woman's name more than one time. His line of work requires him to always be on the phone, texting or emailing customers . This just increased my anxiety and I became convinced that he was emailing or texting other women. He always tried to reassure me but his patience wore thin. We took a beautiful vacation last month that ended with a huge messy alcohol fueled blow out where I told him he ruined my life and will never believe him so he ended things right there. Now 5 weeks later we are still not together even though I apologized for my behavior and I'm in therapy to address the trust issues and anxiety. He always replies to my texts and calls but never initiates contact with me and is still harboring a lot of anger towards me. I know I was wrong but he doesn't want to give me a second chance. Is there any hope? I decided to back off and give him space over the past 4 days, but have not heard a word from him.

[MsJayne]

If he hasn't tried to see you since December I'm putting my fifty cents on the fact that he's moved on. Your insecurity is the far bigger issue. I really believe that insecurity comes from subconscious knowledge, gut feeling, sixth sense, whatever you want to call it. If someone wants to be with only you, you can feel it and you feel safe. Likewise, if they're still on the lookout for someone better, you can feel it, no matter what they're actually telling you. Whatever, feeling insecure is unpleasant, so why would you want to be in a relationship that feels unpleasant? If you can answer this question you'll be armed with some valuable self knowledge to take into a new relationship.

[mikeylo]

Your relationship might have run its course ! No one breaks up over a small incident like this. Of course you had a suspicion.Everyone would have. Love is risking yourself and no one can afford being cheated on.

He could be over reacting to your over reaction ! Probably you guys are not compatible even. You should be able to balance each other ! If one is angry or reacting, the other needs to be calm!

[NTV]

How much time did you give yourself to be single after you got divorced? Did you wait at least a year? I'll bet money you didn't. And I'll bet that because you didn't give yourself that time to be single you didn't deal with the trust issues from your first marriage. It could be it was warranted with this guy or it could be you triggered and he took it as a ten lbs bag of crazy.

 

 

Either way, you need to take the time to heal. To be single. To find yourself and be okay by yourself with yourself. You've been given a golden opportunity here, please don't pass it up!

 

 

Just breathe. Look at your 'baggage' that you think you carry and figure out how to turn that 'baggage' into trials you've passed through. That'll be worth 1000 boyfriends.