TunaInTheBrine Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 I was seeing a woman for over a month who is considerably older than me. We had a mutual understanding that either of us could meet someone else who was closer to age and lifestyle, and that it would be okay, albeit hurtful. Well, that time came much earlier than either of us expected. I just slept with a woman I'm dating who is considerably younger than me (though closer to my age than the first one) and it has long-term potential written all over it. I won't sleep with multiple women, so last night I let the older woman know that we had to stop seeing each other and why. She was absolutely crushed. I have never felt so awful letting someone go before in my life! I could tell how much she liked me, and I realized in that moment how much she meant to me too. Even though the woman who I let go is much older, already has kids, has been married, and won't do those things again (and I would possibly like those things at some point in my life), I feel super connected to her and I care so much about her heart. I might even be more attracted to her than the younger woman because of the emotional connection we have. Did I choose the wrong woman here? I am having second thoughts and don't know what to do. Help! Link to post Share on other sites
LilMama1097 Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 (edited) If you truly care for your ex then maybe you should beg and plead for her to take you back and give that relationship an actual chance before moving on. Imo Edited January 3, 2016 by LilMama1097 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 You are generations apart and she can't give you the things you eventually want. I'm sure you got on really well...but in the long run...there isn't a future with her. It's probably best not to get into relationships when there is such a disparity. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 What is considerably older to you? Ages please. Link to post Share on other sites
Standard-Fare Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 Tough position. Especially since you've been only dating this woman for a month. If you'd been together for a while and you felt certain that you were in LOVE with her, I'd say you were a fool to let her go. But you're the only one who can determine if the emotions you're experiencing right now are: a) a wistfulness over having to end a chapter of your life that's been fun -- goodbyes are always hard, or b) genuine remorse over giving up on something potentially awesome because you're trying to shoehorn yourself into a situation that's a better match "on paper." If it feels more like "B," try to think very seriously about the future and whether you can imagine getting over the long-term obstacles you see with the older woman. To me the fact that she's been married before shouldn't be too much of an issue. But the kids thing - could you imagine trying to become a part of her kids' lives? And if it comes down to it, could you give up on the idea of having children yourself? It may seem very early to ponder such big questions, but that's unfortunately where you're at. If you feel confident her age/lifestyle are a dealbreaker you can't move past, then you're doing the right thing by ending things now before things get even more painful and confusing. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 You are generations apart and she can't give you the things you eventually want. I'm sure you got on really well...but in the long run...there isn't a future with her. It's probably best not to get into relationships when there is such a disparity. This. OP, your desire for marriage and children of your own someday and her lack of desire to travel that path again will eventually cause serious issues. Your future goals are too different, in my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
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