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Am I reading too deeply into this?


JustAnotherLostLove

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JustAnotherLostLove

My ex and I, who have been a part for almost exactly 3 months, are still friends on Facebook. It seems that daily, she likes to post meme's alluding to the fact that I took her for granted. And the truth is... I honestly did, and I knew it.

 

Anyways, she posted a meme that said something like "A real man never stops trying for his woman, even after he already has her". A friend of hers responded by saying "I've made this mistake". Now here's where I became curious... In turn she says, "There's still time for a man to make it right, life is still in motion, it's not too late". Is she cryptically speaking to me, knowing damn well that I would read it? Or am I searching for breadcrumbs?

 

Hammer away. I'd especially like to know what the women think about this.

Edited by JustAnotherLostLove
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Just think about how lucky future generations are that they might get to hear beautiful stories of romantic reconciliation initiated by memes conveying subliminal messages to ex partners.

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if you're a hacker and into codes and it's your guy's thing.... he's so wanting you. You should marry your best friend!!

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JustAnotherLostLove
if you're a hacker and into codes and it's your guy's thing.... he's so wanting you. You should marry your best friend!!

 

Not sure if I follow.

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Confusioncreepsin

I made the mistake of reacting to this crap before. Ok, Facebook is a place where people will do one of three things:

 

1). Play victim

2). Play happiness (vindictive)

3). Garner support

 

Sounds like the passive aggressive posts are to drop breadcrumbs to do #1 and #3. She is playing the victim and wants to garner supportive "likes" or comments to support her view of this moment in time. Yeah, I played into it and the next thing I know, I am being sucked back into craziness...and it hurts the second time around much worse than the first when they eventually **** on everything.

 

Ask yourself this question, what would happen if you decided to never go back on Facebook after your breakup. Would you think you missed a divine message that would be the only chance? Don't kid yourself. She is wanting to get at you, make you over analyze this stuff and then REACT. Remember people thrive on positive or negative reaction...she can play you like a fiddle and make you attempt contact ("he will not leave me alone") or make you lash out, stalk her more, say crazy things ("LOOK HOW CRAZY he is"). Nothing good at all.

 

Put this a different way. A meme by them is to garner a reaction by someone...anyone. It might not even be for you but someone else...you never know. But anyway, my advice is ignore it and remove her stuff from coming up on your timeline. DO NOT RESPOND, do not like it, do not over analyze this. You do not know if it was meant for you, or the person she was cheating on you with, or some new dude that popped up. And please, remove it from your sight so you don't let her rent headspace without paying. If you did respond, you are now giving control to her to make you appear HOWEVER she wants you to appear (crazy, stalker, weak, etc). Do not give her the power, if she is smart she knows how to call you, text you email you and discuss outside a public forum.

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Personally if you have had a frank discussion and acknowledged you broke up for those reasons than its both passive aggressive, baiting you to respond and childish. Yes...she is posting TO you. But an adult...if you are still in contact, speaks directly her feelings and needs. This means for a healthy reconciliation she has to face it and forgive it and move past it.

If you aren't in contact, Id defriend or unfollow and take a little time totally away from her and make SURE not out of holiday sentiment or missing her but rather out of true genuine feelings that you would like to try again if she is open.

But, I would NOT take the bait of these stupid petty memes. Id stop looking altogether and wait for direct open communication. That's the only way a relationship can work. Id question her actions and maturity level. Its a turnoff in my book.

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JustAnotherLostLove
Personally if you have had a frank discussion and acknowledged you broke up for those reasons than its both passive aggressive, baiting you to respond and childish. Yes...she is posting TO you. But an adult...if you are still in contact, speaks directly her feelings and needs. This means for a healthy reconciliation she has to face it and forgive it and move past it.

If you aren't in contact, Id defriend or unfollow and take a little time totally away from her and make SURE not out of holiday sentiment or missing her but rather out of true genuine feelings that you would like to try again if she is open.

But, I would NOT take the bait of these stupid petty memes. Id stop looking altogether and wait for direct open communication. That's the only way a relationship can work. Id question her actions and maturity level. Its a turnoff in my book.

 

Thank you. Our post breakup relationship is civil. I check her Facebook from time to time, I'd say once a week on average. But yes, I have ALL of her post on ignore, and I'm rarely on FB altogether. We do talk on occasion, briefly. It's usually her contacting me on the holidays, or things of that nature, just to wish me well.

 

Trust is, we had our issues, but in my opinion, the breakup wasn't nearly warranted, not even close. We were together for 3+ years, and had a life planned out. Then all of a sudden, I'd say over the course of what seemed to be a month, she had a change of heart. And it all started once her co-workers started giving their opinion on our relationship, and I've only met them a few times. Crazy.

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I really think she is looking for a grand gesture, and perhaps you have not thought of that because it's not the type of thing you would normally do?

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JustAnotherLostLove
I really think she is looking for a grand gesture, and perhaps you have not thought of that because it's not the type of thing you would normally do?

 

I honestly think you hit that on the money. Suppose I'm worried about reading into this wrong tho. However, although not very grand, I did make her dinner last night, and was planning on taking it to her, but I'm not sure...

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Was it directed at you? I don't know, but one thing that I will say is that it was intended to get a reaction out of someone.

 

I would simply ignore it instead of seeing it as a message to me. Stuff like that can ring true to us emotionally but when reality kicks in and we see someone carrying it out we sing a different tune.

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Look, after 3 months she knows what she wants. She either wants to try again with you, or she doesn't. You need to cut through all this subliminal stuff and grow some balls.

 

Just ask her, plainly and finally, which it is.

 

If she says yes, full steam ahead to reconciliation. If she says anything else, either no or "I don't know" or "time" or anything other than a definite yes, then it means no. Defriend and block her and begin the process of moving on.

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Of course those messages are for you.... but you broke up for a reason........ What's changed to make you think you should go back to her?

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  • 5 weeks later...
Coolbeans123

No you are not reading into it. Forget what she wrote the real point is you AGREE. You took her for granted. That should be your focus. If you want her back man up and fight for her. I have a rule if it's you who messed up and you want her back you should take the risk and not sit back due to fear of getting it wrong and dealing with the pain that comes with that. True courage is to act despite fear. Fear will always be there but courage is to have the judgement to proceed regardless of it.

 

My advice to you is to reach out directly

 

"I've taken you for granted I see that and I wanna fix that. Do you believe in us to give this a second shot? I love you and personally feel we need that second chance."

 

Sometimes life is simple but we over complicate it. She's giving you hints because her coming to you directly refutes her understanding of how this shyt works. Men are pursuers by nature. Go get her or sit down so she sees the man behind you.

 

Good luck OP. Say piss off to fear

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Do you really want a girlfriend who gets messages across by Vaguebooking?

 

Find yourself a girl who can actually communicate.

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Look, after 3 months she knows what she wants. She either wants to try again with you, or she doesn't. You need to cut through all this subliminal stuff and grow some balls.

 

Just ask her, plainly and finally, which it is.

 

If she says yes, full steam ahead to reconciliation. If she says anything else, either no or "I don't know" or "time" or anything other than a definite yes, then it means no. Defriend and block her and begin the process of moving on.

 

Here ye, here ye!

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