We are back together but she is not happy with me

[heartbroken15]

hello,

thanks for taking time to read.

my ex and I recently got back together within a week of getting back together she said she doesn't want to be with me anymore and is not happy with me. I was confused because we was doing ok no arguing or anything. I was doing a lot for her and trying to be better than when we was together before. We had a long conversation and I told her she can leave if she want because I can't be in a relationship with someone who doesn't want me.

 

She is mad because I don't want to stay with her. She said maybe we can work it out but I'm like that is not a regular relationship problem that can easily be worked out. Then when she went to work that night she was texting and calling back to back saying she was sorry and she want us to be a family for our kids and work it out. To me she is kind of childish because this is the second time she have came back and then changed her mind on me.

 

It's like she don't know what she wants but now she is saying she want me and really want us to work it out and maybe things will change. But i'm so tired of the back and forth. I don't know what to do. Should I just tell her to leave or take her word for it which I don't trust too much right about now. I love her but once she told me she don't want me and is not happy I stop trying so hard and I feel like maybe we should just end it but she is adamant about us trying to "work" it out.

 

p.s. we have been on and off for about 8 years. We broke up five months ago and 3 months ago she decided to be with me but changed her mind and now she is doing the mess again. I love her but I'm not desperate at all. Please help. What would you do?

[d0nnivain]

She wants out of your 8 year long merry go round but she's scared of change & being alone. If you have done the break up make up thing before, your relationship is already too dysfunctional to fix. Let her go & make this break permanent.

[heartbroken15]

how do you think i should do it? I already told him that I'm not interested because she keeps changing her mind. Why can't she just be honest if she want out I already told her that I dont mind? I'm ready to be single anyway.

[d0nnivain]

Just say look we have been at this for 8 years. We took a shot but it's not working for either of us. Rather than both of us continuing to be miserable, lets just end it.

[noloveloss]

She is just scared of loosing you completely. She wants to explore see what life is without you, but at the same time doesn't want to loose you. You are right it's selfish and women have a tendency to do this. So break it now while you can. Tell her your either with me or your not. If she hesitates then you know the answer. I would leave and not look back because your life will be placed at a stand still and you'll be so damn miserable

[Michelle ma Belle]

how do you think i should do it? I already told him that I'm not interested because she keeps changing her mind. Why can't she just be honest if she want out I already told her that I dont mind? I'm ready to be single anyway.

 

This. After 8 years of back and forth with someone who still doesn't know what she wants I'd be ready to be single too.

 

I agree that she's afraid of being alone which is why she keeps coming back to you. You're a sure thing and a comfortable and predictable soft place to land when things get tough for her.

 

But the real question is how do YOU feel about what's been going on? You can love her but that doesn't mean you have to end up with her. She needs to sort her sh*t out and you need to take a break from this merry-go-round. It's exhausting and counter productive.

 

Time to let go and move on.