buck3200 Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 IME...pursuing a second chance with someone you truly love is the only way to get past the "unfinished buisness" that often remains after a break-up. This is especially true when the break-up stemmed from a sudden fight over the actions of one of the couple. Whether it leads to a long term reconciliation...it's just something that has to happen for you to be able to move on in any substantial way. Link to post Share on other sites
theredpill Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I disagree, it's weak and suggests the partner doesn't have the guts to go it alone and therefore is even less worthy of emotional investment.The only reconciliations that become true long term relationships again are when the dumper returns realising their mistake and such "unfinished business" is resolved naturally and not forced, which is the weak position. Truth (in my opinion) from experience and people I know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author buck3200 Posted October 3, 2015 Author Share Posted October 3, 2015 I disagree, it's weak and suggests the partner doesn't have the guts to go it alone and therefore is even less worthy of emotional investment.The only reconciliations that become true long term relationships again are when the dumper returns realising their mistake and such "unfinished business" is resolved naturally and not forced, which is the weak position. Truth (in my opinion) from experience and people I know. Well I can tell you that in my case we were much better off for having reunited....it was something that was necessary for both of our future happiness.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author buck3200 Posted October 7, 2015 Author Share Posted October 7, 2015 I guess this sort of thing applies to only to couples that agree with the feeling of "sometimes I hate you but always I love you" Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 What if a person never has the opportunity for a second chance? Does that mean the person can never heal? I've never had a second chance with any ex, and I was able to move on eventually. Some took longer than others to get over, but I never went back for more. And they apparently felt the same way. I had an ex come back and proposition me for a FWB situation that I declined, but that is the extent of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author buck3200 Posted October 8, 2015 Author Share Posted October 8, 2015 (edited) What if a person never has the opportunity for a second chance? Does that mean the person can never heal? I've never had a second chance with any ex, and I was able to move on eventually. Some took longer than others to get over, but I never went back for more. And they apparently felt the same way. I had an ex come back and proposition me for a FWB situation that I declined, but that is the extent of it. I'll never be totally HEALED from what the stupidity of my youth caused. It has very much negatively effected the rest of our lives. I am much more healed by having had the second chance than not. I believe she would say the same. Edited October 8, 2015 by buck3200 spelling Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Interesting premise. I found it to work well with unfinished business with a long ago MW. Didn't need it to finish business with my exW. I finished both at the same time. Wow, the tranquility that followed that was unprecedented, so much that I don't want to jinx it. Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 you heal by accepting things for what they are. you heal with time and good amount of distance. you heal naturally, period.. not with a rebound or a dose of love bombing. no nature heals you. Unfinished business is when you forgot to say something. It's over.. is finished business. Link to post Share on other sites
Author buck3200 Posted October 8, 2015 Author Share Posted October 8, 2015 you heal by accepting things for what they are. you heal with time and good amount of distance. you heal naturally, period.. not with a rebound or a dose of love bombing. no nature heals you. Unfinished business is when you forgot to say something. It's over.. is finished business. Well, I freely admit we had plenty left to say to each other. Perhaps mine is a unique situation. Except for one action of mine we both say we would still be together. Link to post Share on other sites
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