Ex is angry with me - how do I fix this?

[squeakfish]

My boyfriend broke up with me about three weeks ago, and I am still devastated. We dated for two years and friends would say "He looks at you like the sun shines out of your ***" and he would tell me he loved me every day, usually several times, always complimenting me and we had pet names and inside jokes, shared hobbies, same friends' group, met each other's parents, the whole deal. I had asked him if we could open our relationship to allow making out with others because I was surrounded by people in open relationships and got the idea into my head as being the norm. I see now that probably made him feel incompetent and bad - not a good idea AT ALL. Anyways, he agreed (he shouldn't have agreed!!) because I guess he somehow thought I would never do it, or he just didn't think it through, or he just wanted to end the conversation, or IDK but he said yes and I made out with someone, but then it was too much for him? He was so hurt and angry and couldn’t deal with it. He felt cheated on and betrayed. He hasn’t spoken to me in the three weeks since.

 

I was in shock and all I can do is cry every day. I never wanted him to feel cheated on so that's why I had the conversation to begin with. I love him and the kiss didn't mean anything. I don't speak to the other person and will never see them again. I've tried calling him twice, but he doesn't pick up. His friends have all tried to reason with him and explain to him how sorry I am and how I never would've done anything had he not given his consent. I wish he had said no!!

 

I feel like he's so angry and jealous and hurt that he doesn't want to speak to me. I know he still cares about me, and you don't just stop loving someone after two years together.

 

I feel horrible. I want a second chance and I want him to forgive me because I’m so sorry!! I never ever wanted to hurt him!! I wrote him a letter explaining everything and he read it and kept it, but I don’t know if that’s hopeful. He tells his friends he’s done with me and has said a bunch of absurd lies to try to convince himself he's over it. I know it's easier to be angry than sad so he is probably doing that. I just want to make up for it and help him see how important he is to me, and for him to understand this was a mistake and a misunderstanding.

 

What should I do? Be patient and no contact? Advice welcome!!

[mmmike]

My boyfriend broke up with me about three weeks ago, and I am still devastated. We dated for two years and friends would say "He looks at you like the sun shines out of your ***" and he would tell me he loved me every day, usually several times, always complimenting me and we had pet names and inside jokes, shared hobbies, same friends' group, met each other's parents, the whole deal. I had asked him if we could open our relationship to allow making out with others because I was surrounded by people in open relationships and got the idea into my head as being the norm. I see now that probably made him feel incompetent and bad - not a good idea AT ALL. Anyways, he agreed (he shouldn't have agreed!!) because I guess he somehow thought I would never do it, or he just didn't think it through, or he just wanted to end the conversation, or IDK but he said yes and I made out with someone, but then it was too much for him? He was so hurt and angry and couldn’t deal with it. He felt cheated on and betrayed. He hasn’t spoken to me in the three weeks since.

 

I was in shock and all I can do is cry every day. I never wanted him to feel cheated on so that's why I had the conversation to begin with. I love him and the kiss didn't mean anything. I don't speak to the other person and will never see them again. I've tried calling him twice, but he doesn't pick up. His friends have all tried to reason with him and explain to him how sorry I am and how I never would've done anything had he not given his consent. I wish he had said no!!

 

I feel like he's so angry and jealous and hurt that he doesn't want to speak to me. I know he still cares about me, and you don't just stop loving someone after two years together.

 

I feel horrible. I want a second chance and I want him to forgive me because I’m so sorry!! I never ever wanted to hurt him!! I wrote him a letter explaining everything and he read it and kept it, but I don’t know if that’s hopeful. He tells his friends he’s done with me and has said a bunch of absurd lies to try to convince himself he's over it. I know it's easier to be angry than sad so he is probably doing that. I just want to make up for it and help him see how important he is to me, and for him to understand this was a mistake and a misunderstanding.

 

What should I do? Be patient and no contact? Advice welcome!!

 

You messed up. Not sure if you can recover from that. If a girl siad she wanted to make out with others, I would see it as a MAJOR red flag and say to myself "this is not wife material." Sorry if that sounds harsh. I hope that you learn from it and move on.

[theredpill]

What he said ^^ although I'd add cake and eat it comes to mind, once broken trust is literally impossible to get back I've found. I feel for the guy and you, good luck to you both finding what you want.

 

 

Okay I'll add a lil more, imagine how he feels, that when you get bored you want to kiss other men, it's not that what you did was wrong, its the implications is his mind he will never ever forget.

Edited September 29, 2015 by theredpill