We slept together two nights in a row

[jalapeno86]

I haven't seen her in 4 months. She had to know I was still in love with her. Up until a few weeks ago I still texted her. I told her how I wished we could've been friends, and she never responded. She wanted to give me some of my things back (a few weeks ago), but I couldn't stand to be reminded of her without having her back. We argued over text and she blocked me.

 

Anyway, we ran into each other while out and drunk. We slept together that night, and again the next night. The second night, the sex was amazing. For me it was perfect. She said, she loved how I never made her feel used. And, she mentioned how we were just “f buddies”. I totally accepted that. Of course, I'm in love with her, and I want her back. But, where I am now, and the way I am acting - I am playing it really safe. We talk, laugh, and have sex… She sees how different I am. I'm still in school (which I started for her), no cigarettes, drink rarely, I've got my own apartment now, and my hair is long. We haven't fought. We used to fight all the time. I used to be so needy. I would text all the time. I would never want to leave her place. Now, I just treat her like any other girl I am dating. Except, she's the girl of my dreams.

 

Yesterday morning she was kissing all over me. We laid in bed for 5 hours just talking the night before last. I could see she teared up a little after sex. It's only natural. I mean, we came at the same time. It was really magical. But, maybe she will never call again. I don't know. All I know is that it would be nice to still have sex, and maybe over time, maybe after I graduate we can get back together. Right now, she travels like almost every weekend.

 

The relationship wouldn't work. Would the relationship work? I couldn't be with her if she left all the time. But, she wants to travel. That's her life right now and I'm too broke to go with her. God. I love her. I mean, she could travel, that is fine. I just have to focus on my life. Maybe we could still have sex, and over time I know she will tell me she loves me. She still does. She did her best not to reach out to me. She even blocked me on her phone. But, when we ran into each other that night, we both wanted to just lay in each other’s arms so bad, we did two nights in a row. The next day she had to leave to California for a week long conference. I do not even think about who she might be seeing or anything like that. I just treat it like if we just met. It gives me power and make me look attractive but deep down I know I will always want her back.

 

It was only a day before I ran into her ... Actually there was a whole week before I ran into her, where everyday I would wish I would wake up next to her just like nothing happened, as if we never broke up. Then, yesterday morning she was there, in my arms, cuddled up so close to me. She used to love me like that in the beginning. By the end, I couldn't get her attention. But now, I let it go. She, just happens to acknowledge me. I don't know what I'm asking. I know I am going to try to get her back. But also, I need to realize that she may never commit to me if I commit to her. But, she might commit to me once she realizes what she lost. I have to commit to myself more. I cannot believe she slept with me. I even gained weight which I am not proud of. I might have to just keep my distance and wait for her to come back ... Has anyone experience anything similar?

 

The ex she had before is getting engaged. She mentioned how that is crazy to her. She also mentioned she does want to get married someday. She said she hated how I gave up stand-up comedy while we were dating. Maybe I should go back and do what I love. I went to school for her. So, I could make enough money for us. I am going to start doing comedy again. I know that will make her see my different. I just thought I couldn’t do comedy and school at the same time. But, I can.

Edited September 24, 2015 by jalapeno86

[nadine5]

She obviously misses you if she slept with you two nights in a row. Stop initiating contact with her and let her come to you.

 

At this point, and I know this sounds weird, but treat her like a cat. You know how most cats only come to you when you stop paying attention to them? Let her come to YOU, and when she does come to you, be open but not too open, affectionate but not TOO affectionate. (You know when you start picking up the cat and coddling it, it bites you and scratches and runs away? Same idea.)

 

That's what I'm doing with my ex right now and it seems to be working, just passing along some tips.

[jalapeno86]

Thank you. Yeah, I think this works. I haven't initiated anything. If she come back, I'll be doing comedy and feeling good about myself. And, yeah when she comes back around I'm not going to be too lovey dovey. I'll just be affectionate enough. We held hands in the car. Anyway, she's out of town. I have other things to focus on, but for some reason I just broke down. I remembered how I felt when she first left me. I remember driving aimlessly and crying. I am doing that right now. It hurts me so bad. I wish it didn't. Maybe this will pass. I need a good friend to listen to me. I feel so alone. I mean, think about it. I was so ****ed up emotionally in the past because it felt like I would never see her again. And, now I got to **** her again! Maybe I should just realize that you can't be with someone 100% of the time and 24/7 and that right now she doesn't want to be with me.

[jalapeno86]

I think I am just fooling myself thinking that doing comedy will all of a sudden make her want me back. So, it was two weeks, then she called me again. We slept together last night. I am going over again tonight. We love it. It is fun. But, we both know that this is just a "hook-up". I can't believe I am doing this. She broke my heart, and now I am giving her the TLC she needs. I have been very non-needy. I haven't texted her once. It is always her that initiates. When we are together, she seems really into me. Oh! And, one more thing. I ran into a friend of hers, and her friend told me "don't give up on her". Wtf? She was just telling me how she thinks about moving out of town by 2017. I don't graduate until 2018. She tells me she is thinking about settling down. I do not think she has me mind, but she also talks about how all the guy out here are lame. Dammit. I am so crazy about her. Sometimes I feel like I am not enough for her. Like, no matter what I say. I am not enough. But. I shouldn't think like this. I should realize that I am enough. She is the one missing out. I will show her a good time, but if she doesn't come around and ask for me to be hers again then I will have to slowly start looking around before I get my heart broken.

[Chin Up]

Stop sleeping with her.

 

Aside from it telling her that you have no dignity and will settle for being her ride to pound town, it will slowly break down your self esteem to where you will accept how things are and have a very lonely and unhealthy "relationship" that is purely based on the boom-boom lol.

 

You know the saying "Why buy the cow when you're getting the milk for free"

[bathtub-row]

I agree that sleeping with her is probably not a great idea. But if you persist in that, then don't be available all the time and make her wonder why you were busy. Her first thought will be that you're with someone else. Disappear for a time and don't explain yourself. If she asks you, be vague. Even better, let her think that you're getting bored with the whole situation. This will take her by surprise. Just because she's in town for a short time doesn't mean that you have to be at her beck and call.

 

Women do not like men they can walk all over. I think you've done great so far so keep up what you've done by not being too needy or intrusive, and by playing it cool. I know how much this kind of thing can hurt but being overly attentive to her will most likely backfire on you. The good news is that most women cannot sleep with a man over and over again without getting emotionally attached. if you keep getting the sense that she's still not getting attached to you and is only using you, then stop the sex. It's not even necessary to make an announcement about it. Just suddenly leave her house and say that you're tired and want to be at home. I know it all sounds like a lot of games but she needs to understand that she is risking losing you. If that means anything to her, she'll wake up.

[jalapeno86]

It got bad. I'm going to post a thread in the coping section. I really need to move on. I'm crying while I'm writing this. It was 4 days ago. I got drunk. She and I fought. I believe it developed from jealous feelings I was hiding. We spent almost 3 days together. We got too close. I blacked out. All I remember was being told to go home or she'd call her guy friend. The next morning I came by to apologize and he was there, and she told me to leave. I've been broken ever since. I really need help coping. I start crying as soon as I wake up. And, I have studying to do. I also want to quit drinking. I wish I could go to rehab, but I've got classes. My friends are all drunks. But, it's so hard being alone.