nadine5 Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 (edited) He broke up with me because we are too different. Too many little fights. Doesn't feel like himself around me... 8 months together. Then he said we should take some time apart as opposed to completely moving on to other people. I went NC for about a week, and found him on a bunch of dating sites. I confronted him about the sites, and he deleted them and made up a bunch of excuses for them, also assured me he wasn't hanging out with anyone, but was just bored. He also said he wanted to see if I could not be so fly-off-the-handle all the time, and that I haven't pushed him away entirely. After fighting about the sites, I took a few days to cool off and started sending him little friendly snippets of text, to which he responded in a friendly way. On Saturday his grandpa died, and he was feeling sad, so he called me and asked me to please come over. Of course, stupid little me still being in love with him, obliged. We ended up having a really nice time and yes we did have sex. Also I told him about some party I went to with some guys and he acted really jealous. The next day I told him that if he was going to keep going on the sites that I wouldn't be able to hang out with him anymore...because I saw he logged in... he told me same goes for me hanging out with guys (per the party I told him about). He has been in regular friendly contact with me since then....hasn't really acted like a boyfriend (like hasn't been kissing me as often or calling me his usual pet names). Two nights ago he came over to hang out and watch a movie and we slept together but didn't have sex, but he did kiss me. I'm really confused and really wary about what's going on. He hasn't brought up the relationship at all but neither have I. Today he texted me some funny little memes, but hasn't asked me to hang out during the weekend or anything. I'm not really sure how I should be handling this or how I should be reacting... or even what I should be feeling right now. I'm really confused and I hope I can get some input. Thanks guys. <3 N Edited September 11, 2015 by nadine5 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 For one thing you shouldn't be having sex with him if you still want a relationship. It would be okay if you weren't so emotionally involved. I can't see why he would want to go back into a relationship with you if he can hang out with you and have sex with you anytime he wants to. He's getting the best of both worlds. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nadine5 Posted September 11, 2015 Author Share Posted September 11, 2015 Thanks stilla... I know this sounds crazy... but I feel like my having sex with him is going to prevent him from wanting to date others... which is my biggest fear. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 Trust me it isn't going to stop him from having sex with others. If you want him back he has to miss you and want to be back with you. Link to post Share on other sites
pidgeon1010 Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 Yes, that reasoning is crazy. He will date and have sex with whomever he wants (with or without sex from you). Were you not having sex with him when you were together? And did that prevent him from leaving? The only thing you are assuring him is that you will be available for some "fun" when he wants it. Quick way to get fast tracked into a friends with benefit type situation (in fact, you're already there). Don't let a guy pick and choose which parts of you he likes (if you want a relationship, it is either all or nothing). Link to post Share on other sites
Author nadine5 Posted September 11, 2015 Author Share Posted September 11, 2015 Yes, that reasoning is crazy. He will date and have sex with whomever he wants (with or without sex from you). Were you not having sex with him when you were together? And did that prevent him from leaving? The only thing you are assuring him is that you will be available for some "fun" when he wants it. Quick way to get fast tracked into a friends with benefit type situation (in fact, you're already there). Don't let a guy pick and choose which parts of you he likes (if you want a relationship, it is either all or nothing). I agree but we did agree that we weren't going to be hanging out or talking with other people... Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 If that's the case why are you broken up? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 I agree but we did agree that we weren't going to be hanging out or talking with other people... That's a ridiculous agreement. If you're broken up, you're free agents. Both of you. You have absolutely no right at all to tell him to not frequent dating sites, because he is perfectly entitled to. He's single, he owes you nothing, he can do whatever he wants, and you don't have any say in the matter. The same goes for him 'dictating' who you can and can't see, be with, date, link up with, hang out with, get fresh with and make out with. That's up to you, your choice, and there's nothing he can do about it. And quit having sex with him. It's over, done with. All you're doing now is acting like two possessive FWBs, because while there is no relationship, you both think you have a right to claim exclusivity without commitment. Stop. Go No Contact and live your lives. Or 'kiss 'n' make up' and be a couple. But don't have a foot in both camps, because this WILL end in tears, otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts