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Should I come clean about creating a fake FB to check on ex?


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I m really embarrassed to admit this. I know what I did was childish and immature. When my bf and I split of 3 years, I really took it hard. He lied to me about someone he rebounded with immediately afterwards and made me seem like I was losing my mind. This lasted for 5+months this year.

 

So when he came back around telling me he wanted to get back together, I had really really high trust issues. I made sure he was single before he spoke to me but I guess a part of me didn t trust him and was afraid he was going to lead me on again. So I created a fake FB profile to ask his rebound gf questions to see if she was dating anyone, basically fishing for info.

 

Eventually it got back to him and I made up some stupid excuse about how that profile belongs to a friend who was playing around.. I know he s onto me and at this point, I m not sure if I should just disappear to save face or come clean.

 

I should probably mention this but he is a police officer and he got really angry when his other ex gf started to bombard him with texts as he was on call. He said he was launching an investigation on this fake account and I got really scared. So either way it may or may not get back to me. I'm assuming at this point that it will.

 

What are your thoughts?

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I m really embarrassed to admit this. I know what I did was childish and immature. When my bf and I split of 3 years, I really took it hard.He lied to me about someone he rebounded with immediately afterwards and made me seem like I was losing my mind. This lasted for 5+months this year.

 

So when he came back around telling me he wanted to get back together, I had really really high trust issues. I made sure he was single before he spoke to me but I guess a part of me didn t trust him and was afraid he was going to lead me on again. So I created a fake FB profile to ask his rebound gf questions to see if she was dating anyone, basically fishing for info.

 

Eventually it got back to him and I made up some stupid excuse about how that profile belongs to a friend who was playing around.. I know he s onto me and at this point, I m not sure if I should just disappear to save face or come clean.

 

I should probably mention this but he is a police officer and he got really angry when his other ex gf started to bombard him with texts as he was on call. He said he was launching an investigation on this fake account and I got really scared. So either way it may or may not get back to me. I'm assuming at this point that it will.

 

What are your thoughts?

 

You have just met red flags one and two.

 

He lied to you so you responded in kind. That second bolded statement is craziness. It's going to make you look insane no matter which way you tell him.

 

I would delete the account and never mention it to him. I would also reconsider this relationship as these trust issues run deep.

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pidgeon1010

I wouldn't say anything. He can launch his own investigation but nothing will come of it and he probably said that to scare you into admitting. No crime has been committed. How is he going to find out it's you without serving a subpoena on Facebook for records? (which he cannot do).

 

On another note, I don't think this relationship is healthy. If you need to create a fake fb account because you don't trust him, you're better off moving on and finding someone else. You are just going to drive yourself crazy always being suspicious of everything he says and does.

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Agreed with the sentiment that this relationship is not in a healthy state now and I have my reservations on whether it can ever work again. Alas, the human spirit in me has hope. But I am not betting much on it.

 

In regards to subpoenas and anything legal, technically he is saying it is harassment and my "friend" or I can get charged with social engineering. I looked it up and really it is a stretch... but I guess if pressed, it is extracting info out of the rebound gf.

 

Since he is a cop, he can stretch it to any capacity he wants and get a subpoena out of it is what I think.

 

I'll take the advice and just stay quiet about the matter... His brother's fiancee already blocked me on FB so I suspect some family members have taken sides.

 

Sigh, I'm so disappointed with how this year has unfolded. I'm disappointed in how I've handled relationship stress, disappointed in him lying about the rebound, disappointed in everything. Moreover, I'm struggling to simply let go and move on. I've been trying to and then when things look better, he literally opens the door to my apartment, walks in, and says he wants to work things out.

 

I am overwhelmed and exhausted. I don't trust myself anymore.

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pidgeon1010

If you just asked her questions and she willingly provided information regarding her dating status, that's not harassment. Yes it was wrong to do, but it's not a crime. Getting a subpoena on the basis of social engineering is more than a stretch in these circumstances, unless there is more to it than you have provided.

 

I am sorry you have to go through this. Hopefully you can move on from this.

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I m really embarrassed to admit this. I know what I did was childish and immature. When my bf and I split of 3 years, I really took it hard. He lied to me about someone he rebounded with immediately afterwards and made me seem like I was losing my mind. This lasted for 5+months this year.

 

So when he came back around telling me he wanted to get back together, I had really really high trust issues. I made sure he was single before he spoke to me but I guess a part of me didn t trust him and was afraid he was going to lead me on again. So I created a fake FB profile to ask his rebound gf questions to see if she was dating anyone, basically fishing for info.

 

Eventually it got back to him and I made up some stupid excuse about how that profile belongs to a friend who was playing around.. I know he s onto me and at this point, I m not sure if I should just disappear to save face or come clean.

 

I should probably mention this but he is a police officer and he got really angry when his other ex gf started to bombard him with texts as he was on call. He said he was launching an investigation on this fake account and I got really scared. So either way it may or may not get back to me. I'm assuming at this point that it will.

 

What are your thoughts?

 

Agreed with the sentiment that this relationship is not in a healthy state now and I have my reservations on whether it can ever work again. Alas, the human spirit in me has hope. But I am not betting much on it.

 

In regards to subpoenas and anything legal, technically he is saying it is harassment and my "friend" or I can get charged with social engineering. I looked it up and really it is a stretch... but I guess if pressed, it is extracting info out of the rebound gf.

 

Since he is a cop, he can stretch it to any capacity he wants and get a subpoena out of it is what I think.

 

I'll take the advice and just stay quiet about the matter... His brother's fiancee already blocked me on FB so I suspect some family members have taken sides.

 

Sigh, I'm so disappointed with how this year has unfolded. I'm disappointed in how I've handled relationship stress, disappointed in him lying about the rebound, disappointed in everything. Moreover, I'm struggling to simply let go and move on. I've been trying to and then when things look better, he literally opens the door to my apartment, walks in, and says he wants to work things out.

 

I am overwhelmed and exhausted. I don't trust myself anymore.

 

The "launching an investigation" thing is smoke and mirrors - you haven't committed any crimes by making a fake FB profile (check with the billion other fakes out there), and he'd have to be able to show a clear pattern of persistent stalking and harassment anyway. Chatting with his ex doesn't count. Likewise with the subpoena ....I assume he's just a regular line officer? In order to "launch investigations" and obtain subpoena's, the matter would have to be run thru his department's DB. There's no way he'd go to them and say "my ex GF's picking on me" first of all, and even if he did, all they'd do is raise an eyebrow and say "seriously?" They have much better things to do, like investigate actual crimes.

 

So yeah, not gonna happen. I think it's funny when ppl try to run bluffs like that. :laugh: He's just using his job as leverage with you.

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LeslieKnope

Do not, do not, DO NOT tell him. Change the password to something you cannot possibly remember and never log in again. Better yet, delete it all together. Also delete your internet history EVERYWHERE.

 

It was a crazy thing to do, yes. It's even crazier that your boyfriend is threatening you (or your 'friend') with drummed up charges.

 

If you can't trust each other than there's no foundation for a relationship.

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