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How do i meet my ex again?! any chance of reconciliation?


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my ex broke up with me 8 months ago after a 3 year relationship. at the time of the break up, we had been long distance for around 6 months which added strain on us when we were in a bad place. looking back, i was a pretty bad girlfriend in the final 6/8 months of our relationship and snapped at him a lot due to me not knowing how to deal with problems when they came up.

 

I have learnt sooo much from the break up and whilst I can see what led to it, I still find it hard that he is not in my life. After the break up we messaged very ocassionally (a couple of texts about once a month) and around a month ago i said in passing lets catch up sometime. he responded very enthusiastically and so we met up last week.

 

at the meeting he said i looked different and really good. ( i could tell he thought this by his looks). we chatted a lot and i think he was surprised by what I had managed to do in our time apart. we laughed together and didnt discuss the past. at the end i said we should meet again sometime and he responded definitely.

 

the next day i texted him about something we had discussed and he replied but he didnt really start a conversation. I want to ask to see him again in a few weeks as I hope that if I see him more feelings could stir but I am not sure whether there is not any hope or the best way to go about things.

 

Any advice on this situation would be appreciated!

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my ex broke up with me 8 months ago after a 3 year relationship. at the time of the break up, we had been long distance for around 6 months which added strain on us when we were in a bad place. looking back, i was a pretty bad girlfriend in the final 6/8 months of our relationship and snapped at him a lot due to me not knowing how to deal with problems when they came up.

 

I have learnt sooo much from the break up and whilst I can see what led to it, I still find it hard that he is not in my life. After the break up we messaged very ocassionally (a couple of texts about once a month) and around a month ago i said in passing lets catch up sometime. he responded very enthusiastically and so we met up last week.

 

at the meeting he said i looked different and really good. ( i could tell he thought this by his looks). we chatted a lot and i think he was surprised by what I had managed to do in our time apart. we laughed together and didnt discuss the past. at the end i said we should meet again sometime and he responded definitely.

 

the next day i texted him about something we had discussed and he replied but he didnt really start a conversation. I want to ask to see him again in a few weeks as I hope that if I see him more feelings could stir but I am not sure whether there is not any hope or the best way to go about things.

 

Any advice on this situation would be appreciated!

 

You can continue with him, seeing him when able and try to get to know his feelings. Also, there's lots of advise on getting back with ex out there and some is pretty good. If he's somewhat positive toward you, there are things you can do to "encourage" it without throwing yourself at him which often doesn't work.

 

He needs to see a really attractive valuable person to be with in you, and there needs to be a bit of a challenge on his part, where he will have to make as effort to make things work.

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It seems like there's a huge chance of reconciliation. First of all, he agreed to go out with you again. Second, he complimented you. If you are more mature now and you both had a good time together, I can't see what's wrong with trying again. Slowly, of course, although I don't think you should wait a few weeks before seeing him again. Why not ask him out in a few days, instead? Try to keep conversations up with him every now and then, show him you're interested in coming back. If you wait too long, then maybe he'll think you just want to be a friend or may get to meet another girl.

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thanks for the advice guys! I want to try to build on the positivity without being too keen. I am therefore nervous to send messages as im not sure how to get the balance right at this stage. I can't see him sooner than a couple of weeks at the moment as we live in different cities. However we will be in the same cities permanently in 7 weeks due to work. I will try to read ex back advice. any further advice would be appreciated!

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thanks for the advice guys! I want to try to build on the positivity without being too keen. I am therefore nervous to send messages as im not sure how to get the balance right at this stage. I can't see him sooner than a couple of weeks at the moment as we live in different cities. However we will be in the same cities permanently in 7 weeks due to work. I will try to read ex back advice. any further advice would be appreciated!

 

Millie,

 

I really hope the best for you. I went back to an ex once, and it worked out great. Was some challenges. First, I had to show that I did something to improve myself, and second, I had to show that I wasn't throwing myself at her (even thought I was). So, when we first met after our break up, it was very short and sweet. We had a short lunch in my car and talked for a bit. I was sure she still had some interest but she needed a reason to return. Over the next few weeks I showed her where I improved, some of it by her request and some on my own. We met again for a short lunch.... and later a dinner at my place, then another lunch.... little by little, but things were going reasonably well.

 

Then there was dinner at her place and I asked if I could spend the night, which she said no. The next night is was the same thing, but she said spend the night and we were back together and it was wonderful. And I spend every night with her after that and moved back in within a few weeks. However, because of a major issue I had with her (the reason I left her in the first place) we separated 6 months later, permanently. It was very painful for me but couldn't live with her conditions. I still miss her, but for the most part she's out of my mind.

 

I bet if I wanted, I could get her back again, but with the way she is, it wouldn't be worth it, and I have a better situation now.

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