JackJackxD Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 (edited) It has been over 9 months since my break up from a 2.5 years relationship. I was the dumpee, and my Ex-gf was the dumper. We broke up for various reasons, such as me being immature, being too close with my female friends, and saying the wrong stuff. We tried to be friends for the first 3 months but it did not work out since I still had feelings for her. In the end, I asked her to get back together with me but she rejected it. She seemed mad at me for asking for another chance and typed a pretty mean message with things such as "I can't remember anything happy from the relationship"...etc, and said that we shouldn't talk for a few months so things could calm down first. I replied telling her that I agree with what she said since I can't be friends with her when I still love her. A few weeks after that, she blocked my Facebook. That was in early December. It has been nearly 6 months since we last spoke now. We do the same course at the same university so we see each other around, but we tend to ignore and avoid each other as much as possible, but we do sometimes make eye contact. I tried to not think about her as much as possible, and I focused more on addressing the things I've done wrong in the relationship. I also dedicated my time on preparing for exams, and didn't want anything to get in the way. So I prioritised getting my grades up over everything else, which I guess is the reason how I managed to remain in NC for 6 months straight. My exams are nearly over and done with now, and I am here thinking whether I should contact her or not. Lately I feel like something is missing from my life, and the thing I'm missing is her. I don't know whether I am missing her as an actual person, or I'm just missing my imagination of "her" in my mind. I started having the urge to contact her and see what she is up to, and just start having conversations with her again. So should I reach out and contact her again? I know there is a good chance that she might not reply, but I don't think I would be too upset if she doesn't. The worst part of the break-up is over already. If I do contact her I think I may add a line in my message saying "I completely understand if you do not want to talk to me. If you don't want to then please just ignore this and forget I ever sent this message. In that case I will just delete this number off my phone and leave you alone". What do you guys think? Edited May 23, 2015 by JackJackxD Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 She sounds very hurt and angry. I'm thinking something -- maybe whatever went down with your female friends? -- must have caused her a lot of pain. Being so negative about the relationship, avoiding contact when she sees you around, blocking you on Facebook... none of these are encouraging signs. Honestly, you've made it six months without contacting her -- I wouldn't reach out at this point. She was the one who ended the relationship, she knows you didn't want to break up, if she changed her mind she'd let you know. Your finals are coming to an end, maybe this summer it would help to dip your toe back in the dating pool? It sounds like you're starting to miss being in a relationship, which isn't such a bad thing. Here's a guide that will help you: http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com Good luck to you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JackJackxD Posted May 23, 2015 Author Share Posted May 23, 2015 She sounds very hurt and angry. I'm thinking something -- maybe whatever went down with your female friends? -- must have caused her a lot of pain. Being so negative about the relationship, avoiding contact when she sees you around, blocking you on Facebook... none of these are encouraging signs. Honestly, you've made it six months without contacting her -- I wouldn't reach out at this point. She was the one who ended the relationship, she knows you didn't want to break up, if she changed her mind she'd let you know. Your finals are coming to an end, maybe this summer it would help to dip your toe back in the dating pool? It sounds like you're starting to miss being in a relationship, which isn't such a bad thing. Here's a guide that will help you: http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com Good luck to you! Well what happened with the female friends was that we got too physical whenever we hang out. It was the playful kind of touching, like piggy-backing. We had a talk about it before already and I told her I wouldn't do it again, but of course since we didn't talk about everything that I can't do, I ended up crossing her boundaries and she broke up with me. She said that she was disappointed in me and already moved on when she broke up with me after 2 months of not talking. I really didn't know where all the "hate" came from. When we were pretending to be "friends" she seemed to be very spiteful at times and thought everything I did has an ulterior motive of trying to get her attention. I haven't talked to her for so long now, shes probably got on with her life, and so have I. I don't know whether she has calmed down though. As for me, I still have lingering feelings for her, but I'm sure that I've grown stronger from the break up and that I can handle things without getting too emotional. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 So to summarize the core issues of this relationship- * She broke up with you and ended your romantic relationship * She ended your friendship * She blocked you on FB * She avoid you at the university * She has NOT contacted you in 6 months Thinks about what you said. IMOP, I wouldn't contact her whatsoever. She's moved on from you. As you stated, you made some mistakes. Do a "not to self" and not repeat them with your next girl. You're at a university. You have to be surrounded by tons of attractive women. Why haven't you been exploring that? Personally, I agree that you're simply lonely and miss being in a relationship. If you meet a new GF, in no time you won't give your last one a second thought. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 You made six months without contact. Why throw it all away. You miss the way she made you feel before. Breakup changed you and you can't reproduce that feeling again. Any future contact needs to come from her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 I really didn't know where all the "hate" came from. See below: Well what happened with the female friends was that we got too physical whenever we hang out. It was the playful kind of touching, like piggy-backing. We had a talk about it before already and I told her I wouldn't do it again, but of course since we didn't talk about everything that I can't do, I ended up crossing her boundaries and she broke up with me. Keep moving forward, and don't make the same mistake next time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Twigyy Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 Imo it is very disrespectful to yourself if you chase after someone who dumped you, no matter what their reason is. Despite finding out that my ex already slept with couple guys I kept on pursuing and hurting myself. So I stopped chasing after my ex girlfriend when I realised that it is not making me happy. Someone once told me: No one deserves to be unhappy. Only love the ones who do make you happy, or care about you, and cut off those who doesn't. I'm sure you'll be happy again, so better don't look back. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 I get the feeling that you are being very harsh with yourself because of this breakup. You're giving yourself a hard time. Take responsibility for what you did, but don't punish yourself. Learn from it. She must also carry the responsibility for her behaviour. I think that contacting her would not be in your best interests. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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