silverliningplaybook Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 It was a really rocked relationship, we both made mistakes. I need him back, I love him so much, I can't imagine my life without him. He's very hurt because another guy *EXPLICIT CONTENT* "came" in me. He already knew we hooked up and it was when we were separated 2 years ago. I know he hooked up with several girls when we were broken up too. He's a cancer zodiac for those who understand their bipolar and one way approach at times, also sensitivity. How do I show him that I was just trying to move on and the guy meant nothing. I tried really pursing a relationship with the guy in hopes to forget my ex. Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Serious question here OP: Why would you want to get back with someone who is mad at you for hooking up with someone else while you were not together? You ex seems really focused on this, especially in light of the fact that he too was intimate with other people when you were broken up. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 The headline of your post is exactly why you shouldn't be with him. You're needy, you're codependent and you have no idea how to stand on your own two feet. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author silverliningplaybook Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 The headline of your post is exactly why you shouldn't be with him. You're needy, you're codependent and you have no idea how to stand on your own two feet. I know how to stand on my two feet I was away in the army for a year. I just love this man and I feel like I messed things up 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author silverliningplaybook Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 Serious question here OP: Why would you want to get back with someone who is mad at you for hooking up with someone else while you were not together? You ex seems really focused on this, especially in light of the fact that he too was intimate with other people when you were broken up. I lied to him about the guy doing that in me, he knew we hooked up, it was because I lied he is hurt and feels betrayed 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 I know how to stand on my two feet I was away in the army for a year. I just love this man and I feel like I messed things up Assuming you've already apologized, it's not up to you anymore. It's up to him. If he doesn't want it, you can't force it or manipulate it. It's not your call. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 I just love this man and I feel like I messed things up Yeah, really! What were you thinking, having sex with someone else after you two broke up -- ??? Sweetie, it's none of his business what you did -- or who you did it with -- when you're not together. You don't owe him anything at that point. I tried to read your other thread, but the lack of paragraphs made it impossible. I did however catch that your ex has been to jail and has a history of heroin abuse? Really? So you can overlook a criminal record and heroin addiction.... but he can't forgive you for lying about having sex with some guy when you were broken up two years ago??? This guy has a very warped world view, imo. You deserve SO MUCH BETTER. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author silverliningplaybook Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 Yeah, really! What were you thinking, having sex with someone else after you two broke up -- ??? Sweetie, it's none of his business what you did -- or who you did it with -- when you're not together. You don't owe him anything at that point. I tried to read your other thread, but the lack of paragraphs made it impossible. I did however catch that your ex has been to jail and has a history of heroin abuse? Really? So you can overlook a criminal record and heroin addiction.... but he can't forgive you for lying about having sex with some guy when you were broken up two years ago??? This guy has a very warped world view, imo. You deserve SO MUCH BETTER. Yeah I thought about things and decided to write him an email just letting the relationship go in a loving and positive way. I don't judge him for his past but he has lied to me several times and I always forgive him, I came to the conclusion he must want a way out of the relationship. It's hard but after asking and telling my story and hearing I should let him go, I guess it's time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author silverliningplaybook Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 Assuming you've already apologized, it's not up to you anymore. It's up to him. If he doesn't want it, you can't force it or manipulate it. It's not your call. Yes I would never want to manipulate him, but you're right I can't force him. The only thing I don't understand is that he hooked up with several girls and did the same thing that I did.. And he lied to me about it. I forgave him tho 1 Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 A cancer zodiac means absolutely nothing. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author silverliningplaybook Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 A cancer zodiac means absolutely nothing. Some people believe in that, including me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Some people believe in that, including me. I don't beleive in using it to explain why your boyfriend may or may not be a bipolar *******. He is an ******* because he's an *******, not because he was born in a certain month. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Yes I would never want to manipulate him, but you're right I can't force him. The only thing I don't understand is that he hooked up with several girls and did the same thing that I did.. And he lied to me about it. I forgave him tho Well, that says bad things about him and you. It shows he's an absolute hypocrite that doesn't hold himself to the same conduct he holds others too. It shows that you are a weakling with absolutely no backbone and boundaries. His problem is unfixable, but yours is. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 You think you need him, but you don't. You need to get into a calm and peaceful state of mind, after all the turmoil and drama. Decompress. Do ordinary stuff. Hang out out with your friends, have some quiet time at home in your pyjamas and your hair in a mess. Read a bit, have a friend over to play boardgames. Walk in the park. Feed the ducks. Go out dancing, but don't get drunk. Flirt a bit, and enjoy the lingering glances. Ordinary stuff. Too much drama gives you wrinkles, and makes you old before your time. Turn down the intensity. Do that, and you'll be absolutely fine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Some people believe in that, including me. You should start concentrating on things with real-life value. Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I don't know but maybe it's just me. Not many people would WANT to have a relationship with a person with a drug or drinking habit.. Most people would run the opposite direction from them.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I don't know but maybe it's just me. Not many people would WANT to have a relationship with a person with a drug or drinking habit.. Most people would run the opposite direction from them.. Unfortunately a lot of people, especially younger women (no offense meant, ladies) confuse dysfunction and drama with excitement. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author silverliningplaybook Posted May 21, 2015 Author Share Posted May 21, 2015 Well, that says bad things about him and you. It shows he's an absolute hypocrite that doesn't hold himself to the same conduct he holds others too. It shows that you are a weakling with absolutely no backbone and boundaries. His problem is unfixable, but yours is. Wow did you have a bad day and decide to judge people you don't even know on the Internet? I came here to gain some helpful advice, the key word is advice because you don't know me to speak on my character. Yeah it was real weak when I was over seas fighting for my country, I'm sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Author silverliningplaybook Posted May 21, 2015 Author Share Posted May 21, 2015 I don't know but maybe it's just me. Not many people would WANT to have a relationship with a person with a drug or drinking habit.. Most people would run the opposite direction from them.. No he doesn't do drugs anymore, that was years before we met. He has no drinking habit 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author silverliningplaybook Posted May 21, 2015 Author Share Posted May 21, 2015 You should start concentrating on things with real-life value. Yeah because taking passive aggressive stabs at someone you don't know at all on a website seems like you know value. Link to post Share on other sites
thekarmacist Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 this guy sounds like trouble. i myself have had plenty of experience both in my professional and personal life, so i know how much pain these people can cause others. it might be a good idea right now for you to step away from this guy and take some time for yourself. clear your head and maybe you can gain some perspective on whether or not this relationship is really what you want. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author silverliningplaybook Posted May 21, 2015 Author Share Posted May 21, 2015 I don't beleive in using it to explain why your boyfriend may or may not be a bipolar *******. He is an ******* because he's an *******, not because he was born in a certain month. Maybe. But with my friends who talk about this, one of them being a cancer female she says that "cancer men are bipolar and moody" it was something thrown in there but definitely not the highlight of the topic. However it's still something I believe in Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Maybe. But with my friends who talk about this, one of them being a cancer female she says that "cancer men are bipolar and moody" it was something thrown in there but definitely not the highlight of the topic. However it's still something I believe in Beleiving that your significant other makes decisions and is influenced by his zodiac sign may be a reason you guys are having problems. Bipolar disorder stems from genetics and an imbalance in the brain that has no correlation with being born into a certain zodiac symbol. If he truly is bipolar, he will need therapy and medication to regulate it but that will still not have anything to do with him being a cancer. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 (edited) Wow did you have a bad day and decide to judge people you don't even know on the Internet? I came here to gain some helpful advice, the key word is advice because you don't know me to speak on my character. Yeah it was real weak when I was over seas fighting for my country, I'm sure. Your military experience has nothing to do with you showing no backbone in your personal life, so don't even go there. Thank you for defending our country, but you getting ultra-defensive and pissy isn't helping anyone. All I am "judging" is what you are talking about in regards to your relationship, where you seem to have no boundaries or backbone. I have not insulted your military efforts, so don't create a strawman argument to paint yourself as a martyr or victim. I am not insulting your work in the military or diminishing it, so please stop going there. Your ex is an extreme hypocrite and his double standards are unacceptable. Yet if you enable those double standards, you are encouraging his behavior. You obviously have some fight on the battlefield -- it's time to translate that into your personal life and not allow this man to make you a doormat. And Zodiac signs are hogwash. The time of year when someone is born has nothing to do with their personality. Edited May 21, 2015 by Simon Phoenix 3 Link to post Share on other sites
goldway90 Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Hold on a sec! since when was a zodiac sign linked a mental illnesses like bipolar? and this coming from another female( who's zodiac is cancer) I'm sorry but that's a total bull****. I know you believe in that stuff but zodiacs are just a waste of time basically cold reading techniques used by the people who call themselves psychics. You mention he's moody, i bet you were in abusive relationship and the fact that he's mad about the guy you slept with while broken up is a major flag, he sounds possessive, jealous and probably verbally abusive and you suffer from what's called the trauma bonding. This is why you are looking for excuses to get back to him ( zodiac signs, bipolar....) Well if i had to by his zodiac which is cancer and i can tell you that this guy is really cancer and you deserve better. Link to post Share on other sites
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