lovesick11 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 After saying goodnight to this guy I'm basically dating (soon officially), I just spent over 2 hours talking to the kid I was hopelessly in love with for almost 3 years and just became friends with again. I know he's my soulmate simply because we have so much in common and I've never connected so well with someone, things just never worked out. I thought I got closure tonight after telling him things I never did but then the conversation turned...inappropriate. I'm so confused and feel so guilty. This new guy is wonderful and sweet and what I deserve, but subconsciously I've never been able to give up hope on the old guy even though I deserve more and it's not like he's trying to commit either. But I still wanna be his friend, we've been through too much. What do I do? If the old guy tries to hook up I know I'll give in unless I'm official with the new guy, and part of me doesn't want to be if there's a chance with old guy. I'm such an honest person I want to tell the new guy about this, but I obviously can't. Ughhhh HELP ME Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 This wonderful sweet new guy.... is a rebound. You're using him to get over your ex, which is pretty awful -- but now you're being emotionally unfaithful with your ex on top of that? Sweetie, it's time to look honestly at your behavior. What you're doing just isn't right. Break up with this great new guy so he can find someone who deserves him and won't cheat on him or treat him like a Plan B. As for you and your ex? You broke up for a reason, and it's likely that history will repeat itself. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 After saying goodnight to this guy I'm basically dating (soon officially), I just spent over 2 hours talking to the kid I was hopelessly in love with for almost 3 years and just became friends with again. I know he's my soulmate simply because we have so much in common and I've never connected so well with someone, things just never worked out. I thought I got closure tonight after telling him things I never did but then the conversation turned...inappropriate. I'm so confused and feel so guilty. This new guy is wonderful and sweet and what I deserve, but subconsciously I've never been able to give up hope on the old guy even though I deserve more and it's not like he's trying to commit either. But I still wanna be his friend, we've been through too much. What do I do? If the old guy tries to hook up I know I'll give in unless I'm official with the new guy, and part of me doesn't want to be if there's a chance with old guy. I'm such an honest person I want to tell the new guy about this, but I obviously can't. Ughhhh HELP ME here's a thought. be by yourself. try it. p.s. the other guy would use you for a hookup. he's not worth the gum on my shoe. it's over. take the time to let it go. it's important. good luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 1. Break up with your new guy. 2. Make a date with the ex who will then use you for a couple ONS. 3. Do the "How could I have been so stupid!" thing, but please don't text or call your new-guy-ex because honestly it's just annoying when people think you'll be #2 in their books willingly. Once you've followed these steps you will successfully move on from your ex and in a way far more dignified than cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
GoBlue Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 What do I do? If the old guy tries to hook up I know I'll give in unless I'm official with the new guy, and part of me doesn't want to be if there's a chance with old guy. I'm such an honest person I want to tell the new guy about this, but I obviously can't. Ughhhh HELP ME Sorry young lady - you can't be such an "honest person" and keep this to yourself at the same time. The idea that this "old guy" is your soulmate...come on...think about that for a minute. You already stated two things that stick out: he isn't looking for a commitment from you; and you "deserve better." Just because you talked for a couple hours doesn't change these facts. If you know that you couldn't stop yourself from "hooking up" with this guy if he asked then you really need to re-evaluate your relationship with this "new guy." He deserves better than someone trying to move forward while looking in the rear-view mirror. How would you want someone to treat you if the roles were reversed? Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 Poor lovesick! She joins and gets FLAMED by the crowd on her first post, oh and by the way, welcome to the Loveshack! lol Everyone is being on point w/you. You have to know that. We all have "that person" from the past that in some cases we could of had a ONS with at the expense of a loving partner. Don't be that person. Make a decision to either tell you "soul partner" thanks but no thanks and stay with the new guy or let the new guy know your going to try (and probably fail) again with the old flame. Link to post Share on other sites
fireflywy Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 DONT stay with the new guy. You're not over the ex. Don't even think of making a choice going with the new guy as it would only be you forcing yourself to stay with someone "nice" while you still believe your "soul mate" is somewhere else. With that said, I wouldn't go back to "soul mate" either as he doesn't want commitment. If you want to try a reconciliation, then try it but FIRMLY establish your boundaries and what you want or don't want with soulmate. Don't give into sex with him if you go back with him, make him wait a month or two (that is if he decides on commitment) and let him prove himself. I personally though, wouldn't got back to "soulmate" though. Link to post Share on other sites
OldRover Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 After saying goodnight to this guy I'm basically dating (soon officially), I just spent over 2 hours talking to the kid I was hopelessly in love with for almost 3 years and just became friends with again. I know he's my soulmate simply because we have so much in common and I've never connected so well with someone, things just never worked out. I thought I got closure tonight after telling him things I never did but then the conversation turned...inappropriate. I'm so confused and feel so guilty. This new guy is wonderful and sweet and what I deserve, but subconsciously I've never been able to give up hope on the old guy even though I deserve more and it's not like he's trying to commit either. But I still wanna be his friend, we've been through too much. What do I do? If the old guy tries to hook up I know I'll give in unless I'm official with the new guy, and part of me doesn't want to be if there's a chance with old guy. I'm such an honest person I want to tell the new guy about this, but I obviously can't. Ughhhh HELP ME Lovesick, Depends a lot on why the breakup with the old guy and deciding if he has characteristics that you just can't live with. You mention you "could do better"... what makes you say that? I feel some of the folks here are a bit harsh, you are not cheating, as you clearly state you're basically dating the new guy and there's no commitment, yet. There's nothing wrong with dating more that one person, if there's not a commitment. If you go back to the old guy, you do have the chance of failing again and going through the pain again. Of course, that could happen with the new guy, too. If you stay with the new guy and make a commitment, there's an argument to tell him about the old guy. You have a few things to think about. I don't believe you've posted enough info here so that we could tell you which way to go. Link to post Share on other sites
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