Is there hope?

[Calidude6]

My ex broke up with me in Feburary after 2 years. I didn't cheat, I didn't lie, I wasn't abusive so the relationship wasn't a bad one. I got myself too comfortable with the relationship I kind of stopped doing the little things to make her feel wanted and love. I guess I lost the fire I had and took her for granted. I wish I had this experience before so I could of learned from it but things happen for a reason.

 

I don't smother her, I talked to her maybe every other 3 weeks for a little bit but I also don't want to feel this pain, emptiness, and be able to let go and move on. However, the relationship and bond was so good that I truly believe we are a great match together that even tho I want the pain gone...I hope there is some hope that we meet again.

 

So for me, I guess the best thing to do is just not talk to her at all and maybe she'll miss me or maybe not. I also don't know why all this pain hasn't gone away after 3 months. It should be easy for me now but it hasn't been. Maybe cause I'm holding onto a little hope? It only hits me is when I'm alone of course or just being really bored or around other woman that doesn't interest me.

 

In the past 3 months, all I've done was give her a letter, flowers, and a closure txt and what I recorded back is.... "I miss you, I wanted us to work, this wasn't easy for me, I'll cherish our memories, and idk the future but I love you"

 

I know with those words, she's pretty much saying she no longer wants us anymore. I also believe her being kind of young is also a reason she probably needs to get that single life out of her system. My ex before her broke up with me and came back to me after 6 months so I have been through that. This one is just different and I'm confused. I want a second chance but I want this pain to go away. Not sure how to move on if I can't get it out of my system.

 

I just hope there is some chance later down the road.

[No Limit]

When a woman falls out of love, it's game over. You've learned from this experience though. Time to move on.

Kudos for not spamming her constantly with messages.

[Calidude6]

When a woman falls out of love, it's game over. You've learned from this experience though. Time to move on.

Kudos for not spamming her constantly with messages.

 

I have that feeling but like my ex before did the same. Fell out love but came hitting me back up 6 months down the road or even my best friend. His fiancé told him she fell out of love but came back. I think it's possible but very slim chance. I messed up and I take the responsbility of the wrongs that ended the relationship. It eats me but definitely made me learn to never do it again.

 

If I wanted her to come back, best thing I can do is just not talk to her and see if we meet paths again.

[Satu]

The odds are against you, but you never know...

 

Just get on with your life without pinning your hopes on a future with her.

 

Whatever is meant to happen will happen.

[diamondgirl]

i found holding onto hope did nothing but hinder my healing process. the truth is, either she will come back or she wont but it wont be because of anything you do or don't do or if you hope or don't hope. no one can predict the future. im sure we all know of couples who have broken up and then reconciled and also heard of many couples who we were sure would last but split for good.

 

you need to let go of hope. tell yourself its over. all it will do is keep you in the denial stage of grief. let yourself mourn it and move on. if she comes back down the line it will be a nice pleasant surprise and you will be able to decide if you still want her but if she doesnt come back then you will be fine if you start moving on. moving on is a win-win.

 

you breakup is still relatively fresh. when i was three months out i was still completely miserable. someone on this forum once told me that time helps but only if you help yourself. i didnt WANT to move on so i held onto hope and the relationship for many months. then i woke up one day around the 5 month mark and just decided i didnt want to be miserable. he will or wont come back based on his own thoughts and me sitting around and being miserable certainly wasnt helping anything. so i decided to move on with my life. i still think of him but i don't need him anymore and im not even entirely sure if i think reconciling would be a possibility for me anymore. im 7 months out of a 7 year relationship and i promise it gets better but if i could go back i would let go of hope from day 1 because all it did was set me back.

[Ruby65]

She's just testing you bro.

 

"I'll always cherish the memories" isn't *just testing*.

 

It's really doling out the most pathetic kind of compliment there is.

 

"I wanted it to work, this wasn't easy".... notice these are all past tense? She's done. She's been done for a while.

 

OP, try and work toward acceptance -- don't go on some mission to win her back. Follow the advice you've been given and work on moving on.

 

If it's meant to be and she changes her mind, SHE'LL be the one doing all the work to make it happen -- you won't have to do a thing!

[Mrlonelyone]

I have that feeling but like my ex before did the same. Fell out love but came hitting me back up 6 months down the road or even my best friend. His fiancé told him she fell out of love but came back. I think it's possible but very slim chance. I messed up and I take the responsbility of the wrongs that ended the relationship. It eats me but definitely made me learn to never do it again.

 

If I wanted her to come back, best thing I can do is just not talk to her and see if we meet paths again.

 

Evidently she really hadn't feel out of love.

 

All you can really do is go no contact and move on with your life. If she hits you up and you can make it work out at that time, if you still want to, then go for it.

 

Is there hope...sure...just don't put life on hold for it.

[kacper]

Personally I am not as much of a Debbie Downer as a lot of the people on this site, and I think reconciliations can and do happen, so long as there was a genuine connection in the relationship, and the breakup wasn't brutal. But that being said, it seems to be an almost karmic law of the universe that the opportunity to reconcile will ONLY come when you don't really care for it anymore. That means moving on.

 

Also, I'm not sure if you have noticed, but virtually all the reconciliations that last, happen after a year or more. Here's a piece good advice that keeps me going....If in 2 years, you are back in a serious relationship with her, you will probably look back to now and think "Now I'm tied down. Damn, I should have partied more, and enjoyed my freedom when I had the chance." If in two years you find that nothing helped the reconciliation, you will think "If I knew it was all in vain, I should have just partied more and enjoyed my freedom." So either way, party more and enjoy your freedom.

[Calidude6]

Evidently she really hadn't feel out of love.

 

All you can really do is go no contact and move on with your life. If she hits you up and you can make it work out at that time, if you still want to, then go for it.

 

Is there hope...sure...just don't put life on hold for it.

 

I really like that and plan on doing that. Moving forward and living my life the way I want to. If we do reconnect and I'm available and willing to do so then great. However, I don't plan on waiting at all. If something else comes along that I'm interested in, I'll pursue that.

 

All in due time will tell if we reach paths again or not. Yes, I'll have a little hope because of the partnership, friendship, and bond we created but I won't let it out my life on hold.

 

Thank you

[Calidude6]

Personally I am not as much of a Debbie Downer as a lot of the people on this site, and I think reconciliations can and do happen, so long as there was a genuine connection in the relationship, and the breakup wasn't brutal. But that being said, it seems to be an almost karmic law of the universe that the opportunity to reconcile will ONLY come when you don't really care for it anymore. That means moving on.

 

Also, I'm not sure if you have noticed, but virtually all the reconciliations that last, happen after a year or more. Here's a piece good advice that keeps me going....If in 2 years, you are back in a serious relationship with her, you will probably look back to now and think "Now I'm tied down. Damn, I should have partied more, and enjoyed my freedom when I had the chance." If in two years you find that nothing helped the reconciliation, you will think "If I knew it was all in vain, I should have just partied more and enjoyed my freedom." So either way, party more and enjoy your freedom.

 

I did a lot of my partying from 18-23 and I'll be honest, I can care less about it. I prefer to use that money and go on vacations which I'm set to do this year. Party life isn't big for me but I still go out with the friends and have a good time. I'll have all the fun in the world for my well being and if we cross paths again, great but if not then that's ok too.