irvinmags Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 So guys, the title kinda sums it. However, she blocked(I blocked her after a week) me immediately after the break up. I did not plead to stay together but attempted to just say my apologies (last feb). But when she saw me last feb (attempt of apology), she ran away and said "not now". Now last sunday, I decided to unblock her. I tried to search for her profile and poof, I was able to search her and view her profile and the thing is, I was not blocked anymore. I did not know when she unblocked me but for sure, she was the first one. So what do I do now? *I am the dumpee. I feel we both feel that we are both the victims of the break up. Link to post Share on other sites
itsdinaah Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Was it a messy breakup? Link to post Share on other sites
Author irvinmags Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 (edited) Well yes. Actually it really was a messy break up. It happened when she got home from her internship, I felt she was getting cold and told her that her excuses of not being able to text me was unacceptable (busy, no signal, no credits) told me that her love is fading. I blew off, I told her I deserve better and what not(cause I felt I was the only one working on our relationship). 4 days letter without contact, I initiated contact and she told me shoe does not want me anymore and does not love me anymore. Did not even tell me why we broke up. Her words were (roughly translated)"I know you are my boyfriend and I know you deserve to know the reason why we broke up, but I won't, since everyone will know eventually". Then bam, blocked. After a week, I blocked her too, deleted everything on my facebook that has a connection with her. But again, I decided to unblock her and she popped into my newsfeed indicating that she unblocked me too. Plus, the the pictures of my gift is still on her profile, actually it was the first thing that I saw when I checked on her profile since I was tagged to it. It happened all via chat. Edited April 21, 2015 by irvinmags Link to post Share on other sites
itsdinaah Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Ouch that is a messy break. You were kind of being mean though but we can't help ourselves sometimes when you're angry. If you want her to talk to you again you will need to apologize first and apologize sincerely. Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 You reblock her and get back to NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irvinmags Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 Ouch that is a messy break. You were kind of being mean though but we can't help ourselves sometimes when you're angry. If you want her to talk to you again you will need to apologize first and apologize sincerely. Well yeah, I was really mean when I blew off. After 2 months of NC, I was able to realize but not yet grow from the mistakes and the things in our relationship. But why did she unblock me? Should I message her like, hey I am sorry and stuff? Actually I ran into her when I was going home last night. We caught each others' eyes, but we just walked on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irvinmags Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 You reblock her and get back to NC. I was hoping for a reconciliation and what not, I mean, right now, I know things will be awkward between us and I do not want to lose her completely, she's also or at least, was my best friend before it all happened. The relationship last for only 6-7 months but we've been together for about 4years. Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 I was hoping for a reconciliation and what not, I mean, right now, I know things will be awkward between us and I do not want to lose her completely, she's also or at least, was my best friend before it all happened. The relationship last for only 6-7 months but we've been together for about 4years. Reconciliation is only possible when you both move past the previous relationship. If you saw her last night and neither of you said anything, you're probably not ready for reconciliation. Blocking/unblocking doesn't mean much for them wanting to contact you. If she is serious about wanting to get in contact with you she will. Link to post Share on other sites
itsdinaah Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 I understand you're only human. She unblocked you because she probably is trying to move on with her life. You really hurt her but I think her unblocking you is a good step into repairing your relationship. Yeah just tell her you're sorry and that she didn't deserve it. Also if you want a reconcilation ask her if you can try being friends. In the end it's up to her to decide if she wants to be friends or not. If you apologize sincerly enough she may consider. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irvinmags Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 Reconciliation is only possible when you both move past the previous relationship. If you saw her last night and neither of you said anything, you're probably not ready for reconciliation. Blocking/unblocking doesn't mean much for them wanting to contact you. If she is serious about wanting to get in contact with you she will. Well it was kinda crowded area and she was with her friend. She is kinda stubborn with this kind of stuff, she will not initiate "nods" and what not if the other is doing. She hates being rejected so more or less, she is the reactor. But I do know what you were saying that we should've moved on from our past relationship in order to reconcile. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irvinmags Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 I understand you're only human. She unblocked you because she probably is trying to move on with her life. You really hurt her but I think her unblocking you is a good step into repairing your relationship. Yeah just tell her you're sorry and that she didn't deserve it. Also if you want a reconcilation ask her if you can try being friends. In the end it's up to her to decide if she wants to be friends or not. If you apologize sincerly enough she may consider. Yes that is what I think off. Because her previous ex is permanently blocked on her account though. So I do not know. I did messaged her last night, I said "I wish we could talk" and her reply was "Why?". So when she replied with a "Why?", I just said, I wish to say that I am sorry for the things blah-blah-blah. Ended up just being seen. So what's next? I actually asked too for the reason of our break up and at the same time, asked her if she would like to be left alone like do not bother anymore. Is that right? Link to post Share on other sites
itsdinaah Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Yes that is what I think off. Because her previous ex is permanently blocked on her account though. So I do not know. I did messaged her last night, I said "I wish we could talk" and her reply was "Why?". So when she replied with a "Why?", I just said, I wish to say that I am sorry for the things blah-blah-blah. Ended up just being seen. So what's next? I actually asked too for the reason of our break up and at the same time, asked her if she would like to be left alone like do not bother anymore. Is that right? She sounds like she's really hurt or angry. Wait for her to respond is the best thing to do. You don't want to write her too much at such a hard time. If she doesn't write you in a week then that's your answer. You did everything you could at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irvinmags Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 She sounds like she's really hurt or angry. Wait for her to respond is the best thing to do. You don't want to write her too much at such a hard time. If she doesn't write you in a week then that's your answer. You did everything you could at this point. Actually, I do feel that she's angry.. But why did she unblock me though? Link to post Share on other sites
itsdinaah Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Actually, I do feel that she's angry.. But why did she unblock me though? There are lots of reasons. For me when I unblock a guy it means: 1) I'm trying to move on with my life and from that relationship 2) I want to be friends or something with the guy but I'm tentative 3) (This one is kind of harsh) You're dead to her and she wants nothing to do with you. It doesn't make a difference whether you're blocked or not. 4) Because you blocked her too and she probably didn't think you would notice. However because she responded to your message I think it could either be 1 or 2. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irvinmags Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 Well as far as I know I am leaning towards with 2? Although that is because that is what I want to hear and stuff. But 1, is kinda shakey right now, there is possibility but I guess she isn't over me yet or moved on? I mean, she still have the pictures on her profile and what not.. Plus, she hasn't returned my things(?) I do not know if it's a sign. Link to post Share on other sites
itsdinaah Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 Well if she still has pics of the two of you then that means she doesn't completely hate you. If they want nothing to do with you then they would get rid of every memory they have of you. It could be 2 but she's still angry/scared. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 (edited) FB can be kinda strange. The last RLShip I had sex with the woman twice while blocked on FB but then we saw each other every bleeping day anyway. Said she blocked me due to the fact many of her friends had nasty things to say about our interracial relationship. :/ (not a correct or mature way to handle that.) That said for most normal young people these days FB is a big deal. It means she is past the relationship completely. Her "everyone will know soon anyway" line makes it sound like she cheated on you or found a new guy and thought he was "the one" and dropped you for him. If you want to risk the pain of not being able to reconcile then send her a message say by text. Don't even mention FB. Text her about something that you really remember fondly together. Ask a question in the text.... Give her a hook to reply to you and see where things go from there. Focus not on FB but on your real life relationship off FB. Focus on reconnecting by text, then phone call then in person. Find out how she is and what's going on with her. When you meet in person finally only then will you know if a romantic relationship is still possible. Often once we see an EX, in person, outside the relationship context we don't see them in romantic terms anymore. Well if she still has pics of the two of you then that means she doesn't completely hate you. If they want nothing to do with you then they would get rid of every memory they have of you. It could be 2 but she's still angry/scared. Keeping up your pictures means that the times weren't all awful. So that can be a good sign. On the other hand that can be as much about how much she enjoyed herself and her history. You are a part of her history. Many more mature minded people don't try to rewrite history when their feelings change. So .... this one could go either way. Edited April 22, 2015 by Mrlonelyone Link to post Share on other sites
Author irvinmags Posted April 22, 2015 Author Share Posted April 22, 2015 @itsdinaah - I also got that feeling. I do know I got he hurt and that is why she said she does not want and love me anymore. Although a part of me says, maybe she is playing games with me right now? Like makes me want to work my ass off. But I just need to know first if she wants me to leave her alone so that I won't invade or at least I am able to respect her decisions. @Mrlonelyone - I think her "everyone will know the reason anyway" I think is rooted to "cool off/breakupish" last december. She hated that I shared or at least asked for an advice regarding on our problem during that time. I will wait for her response to "If I want to leave her alone" for a week. And if she won't answer, then I guess I will have to back off for good. I will try to text her if she will reply to my question. Because I will look like a message terrorist if she didn't respond to my message then texting her. Sounds right? I am not sure Link to post Share on other sites
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