tinydancer324 Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 (edited) I won't go into detail (did that here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/524345-separated-second-time-want-make-work) but I'm just wondering what advice everybody has for trying to get my husband back. I'm the one who moved out (almost 3 weeks ago). Nobody did anything terrible, it was all about money and career logistics and we were long-distance for a year, and reuniting was tense. I feel I've made a terrible mistake and I really want to work it out with him...but 1 week ago he requested one month NC. I set up a special email address I created for emails for him, which he can read at his leisure. I have sent a few thoughtful emails explaining why I want to get back together, how I am working on myself, and what I am willing to do to make our lives line up better together. Any other general tips and advice? Edited April 21, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 It seems that you did the right thing, told him the right words. Now you must give him some time and wait for his decision Link to post Share on other sites
Author tinydancer324 Posted April 17, 2015 Author Share Posted April 17, 2015 One other thing: I talked to our couples therapist (we only saw him 3 times before I left) and he told me that my husband had contacted him about meeting right around the same time I did. So maybe that's a hopeful sign? Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 Sounds hopeful to me. You are both working on it with a therapist that is great. Ask your couples therapist if the two of you can meet with him and talk things over on that neutral ground. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tinydancer324 Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 Unfortunately, he won't talk to me--even in a therapist's office--for a month. So all I can do is maybe call the couples therapist again and try to figure out what he said, if they've even talked yet. He hasn't checked the special account in a few days. Link to post Share on other sites
wizer Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 The therapist cannot share with you anything he may have said in confidence. You really need to stop being so selfish. You wanted to end things, now you want him back. Just leave him alone and let him figure out what HE wants for a change. Link to post Share on other sites
Confused32 Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Don't sit around and mope, get out and be social. If he see's this, he'll start missing you. I hate these psychological games, but it seems to work, no matter the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 The take-away from this whole situation should be: NEVER use a "break" to solve relationship problems. Breaks are precursors to breakups . If you want to solve a relationship problem, do that WITH your partner working together in the relationship. You might have instigated the initial break, but now it's your husband who's the dumper -- not you! Now you're the one at his mercy, he's the one calling for a "break"..... so you'd do best to don the "dumpee" cap and act accordingly. I would do exactly as he asks -- no more, no less. Respect his request for NC. If he reaches out to you, be grateful and friendly and follow his lead. No more demands from you -- you've demanded enough! Now it's up to him to decide if he still wants to be in the marriage, I'm afraid. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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