terlaughs Posted April 16, 2015 Share Posted April 16, 2015 Hi all- So my ex and I broke up a little over 2 years ago... we weren't on same page, he was a bit of a Peter Pan, not ready to grow up, and I became tired of it more or less.. We're both really good people, and I've done some reflection on my own and have always thought "what if... what if he grew up...has regrets.. etc." He's always been a bit shy, not much of a dater, but that could have since changed, too. He reached out a couple weeks ago randomly to discuss upcoming vaca plans, as he noticed on social media that I was vacationing in same spot a week earlier.. We corresponded a bit, and about a week later he messaged me again while away (to say he ran into a friend of mine that past week)... again making small talk... should I consider he is trying to open the door, or could it just be platonic? Link to post Share on other sites
Cinnamonstix Posted April 16, 2015 Share Posted April 16, 2015 (edited) Could be either. Whatever the case, sounds like he is trying. How was the breakup? It sounds like you ended it. Edited April 16, 2015 by Cinnamonstix Link to post Share on other sites
Author terlaughs Posted April 16, 2015 Author Share Posted April 16, 2015 I was the one feeling a bit upset with the status of things when we broke up, but he didn't fight for it either, so at the time it seemed mutual. Also, my friend said he does not have a girlfriend at the moment.. not sure if he dated anyone seriously since we've been apart... Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted April 16, 2015 Share Posted April 16, 2015 After a couple of years he could have grown up a bit. It sounds like he is trying to reach out and test the waters. Reach out back to him. See where it leads. Ex's are so for a reason but if you are thinking about them so long after the fact maybe it wasn't a great reason. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author terlaughs Posted April 16, 2015 Author Share Posted April 16, 2015 I agree... I don't think it could hurt persay.. I have responded to his reach outs, just not sure if I should take the initiative as well? I'd almost be more apt to suggest meeting for a drink.. but not sure if that's too bold. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted April 16, 2015 Share Posted April 16, 2015 If he was the one withholding during the relationship, then I'd let him do all the work to make anything happen now between you. Let him initiate all the contact. Let him suggest meeting up. I'd sit back and see what he comes up with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author terlaughs Posted April 16, 2015 Author Share Posted April 16, 2015 He was, but I mean, I'm sure I was a much different person then, as well.. I feel like it could be he's testing the waters, I just don't know if I should make the next move... bc it could also be totally innocent.. Link to post Share on other sites
Cinnamonstix Posted April 16, 2015 Share Posted April 16, 2015 Don't overthink it. Just let him set the pace and see where it goes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author terlaughs Posted April 17, 2015 Author Share Posted April 17, 2015 right.. that's what I plan to do... but he's so weirdly shy and slow.. was that way when we first got together... not sure if it's that or just he ain't feelin it.... any other suggestions? leave it alone or reach out? Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 Reaching out = chasing him. Assume his intentions are romantic and act accordingly. Stop making excuses for him. If he's going to be "too shy" to move things along, then that just means he's not that into you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author terlaughs Posted April 20, 2015 Author Share Posted April 20, 2015 to update- I reached out, but just to ask how his vaca was... no response yet, was earlier tonight....? Figured I'd just say let's meet for a drink soon... Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Yeah, totally chasing him. Good luck with that. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 I think that's ok. Remember we live in a world where men can be easily accused of stalking or being a creep or whatever. Your reaching back to him gives him a bit of reassurance. It takes two to tango. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author terlaughs Posted April 20, 2015 Author Share Posted April 20, 2015 what's odd is he never got back to me... meanwhile he reached out last week? Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 what's odd is he never got back to me... meanwhile he reached out last week? I know the feeling and am in the same boat. They reach out then draw back. All we can do is live life and entertain reconcilliation if it suits us. Just live your life and move on unless he's down for some serious communication. Link to post Share on other sites
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