waffles4000 Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 (edited) I've spent the last few months messaging everyday (and phoning weekly) with a guy I met on a trip abroad in South America. We've shared so many personal stories with each other, and we have so much in common. He always told me how much he cared about me and how excited he was that I was considering taking a job in his city. We talked about getting together at that time, but nothing for the time being. Things were going great until last month. We got in an argument over a misunderstanding about the expectations in our relationship/non-relationship and stopped talking for about two weeks. Finally, we started talking again, but it felt weird and we got in another argument after a week or two of awkward messaging (no longer talking about our days, one-word answers, he no longer saying such nice things/starting to "neg", and despite this, him saying he was making more of an effort to reconcile than I was). I had enough of this non-communication and decided I didn't need the drama anymore. In the few weeks that we stopped talking, I also decided not to take the job in his city for personal reasons, but the company told me they would reconsider me in the future if the timing was right. Just a few days ago, he sent me a message asking for my forgiveness for hurting me. He missed me, he still felt a connection even though I live so far away, he didn't want to lose me. I told him I wasn't taking the job in his city anymore, and he said that didn't change how he felt. He wanted to call, but we couldn't arrange it until this upcoming weekend. He sounded really happy to make the plans. We've talked a bit since then, still kind of awkward/superficial, but nothing mean from him. I just don't know what to say when we talk on Friday. What does he want from this if he knows I'm not moving at the moment? I already had a plan to visit his city next month, so I guess I can see him then, but what about after that? I realized when he messaged that I really did miss him too, but I also don't know if we can go back to the "old times" when we had these lengthy conversations and really opened up to each other. I don't know if it is worth the drama, even though I really care about him and he says he really cares about me. What are the right questions to ask to figure out how he feels/his expectations and what we can do going forward to avoid more miscommunication/hurt? What should I do when I see him next month? I just don't want to get swept up in emotions or get hurt. I guess it's a weird situation because we were never actually dating, just thinking about it in the future when the timing/location was right. Edited April 2, 2015 by waffles4000 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 It's hard to answer your questions without knowing what exactly the issue was you two were arguing about last month. Also, how would have a relationship in the future if you're no longer planning to move to where he lives? Link to post Share on other sites
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