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Dumpee Contacting Dumper


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So I haven't spoken to my ex in over 5 months but I had a dream of her last night and want to text her about it and her sexy little body. I don't want to get back with her but I would love to have her again for 1 night. Wish me luck

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So I haven't spoken to my ex in over 5 months but I had a dream of her last night and want to text her about it and her sexy little body. I don't want to get back with her but I would love to have her again for 1 night. Wish me luck

 

Can only imagine how this is going to end. I'd wish you luck, but there isn't really much point.

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If you don't take a risk you never know what the outcome may be. Don't be so pessimistic

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If you don't take a risk you never know what the outcome may be. Don't be so pessimistic

 

I'd say I'm more realistic than pessimistic, but whatever floats your boat. Don't forget to let us all know how it goes! :) If you get anything other than a swift '**** off', I'll be impressed.

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Enough time has passed that it will be some what of a surprise for her, I know my dream was a surprise for me since I hadn't thought of her in a couple of months. I'm not really worried about how she might perceive it but you never know, she could be lonely and might be up for a night of fun

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Do so only if you don't care of her response at all. Given that, I don't really know why would you post this.

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I'm posting on here because I found this website when my BU was still fresh and went NC from the advice I read. Most of the posts are about being down in the dumps and everyone hurting, I figured I would post something a little more uplifting, that you can and will get through those feelings with time and if the time comes that you feel you want to contact your ex then do so but only after you come to terms with yourself that the response you get doesn't bother you or lack of one. If you can accept that then you've come along way since the break up which is where I'm at. Everyone will get there at some time just know deep down you will

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I wasn't blaming you for posting here. In fact I'll appreciate to know the outcome of the call (and I really hope it's a positive one!). I just meant that I was assuming some feelings were also involved in this, and maybe it was not a good idea at all - otherwise, I wouldn't even consider any kind of "counseling", which now I see it wasn't what you were looking for at all.

 

Hell, I suck at English as a foreign language. Maybe I should get extra classes instead of thinking of my ex. :laugh:

 

P.S. I really hope that day arrives for me, dude. That's why I posted something like that thread on "sex with an ex". Now I'm unable to think of her large breasts without the romantic approach of her breath down my throat, but if she wants her breath to remain quiet and distant and I'm able to move on, I guess I'll also reach out to see if could she provide me of some fun under the bed sheets again.

Edited by Van Norden
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Good luck to you!! You must let us know what happens! Would you be willing to fill us in on a few deals surrounding your BU?

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Good luck to you!! You must let us know what happens! Would you be willing to fill us in on a few deals surrounding your BU?

 

Things moved too quickly and I think that scared her, she hadn't been in a serious relationship for quite some time when we got together. Met all her family and close friends, all of which really liked me. She said she needed space so I gave it to her. No begging, no pleading, no blowing up her phone with text messages. Sometimes people need to take a step back in order to figure out what they want in life. Probably isn't me but I left things on a positive note so I see no harm in contacting her and it won't bother me one bit if she tells me to f*** off or doesn't respond to me at all

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I think it's a bad idea.

 

Also please don't hit your hand with a hammer, or put your hand in the fire.

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Things moved too quickly and I think that scared her, she hadn't been in a serious relationship for quite some time when we got together. Met all her family and close friends, all of which really liked me. She said she needed space so I gave it to her. No begging, no pleading, no blowing up her phone with text messages. Sometimes people need to take a step back in order to figure out what they want in life. Probably isn't me but I left things on a positive note so I see no harm in contacting her and it won't bother me one bit if she tells me to f*** off or doesn't respond to me at all

Then I'd suggest you to keep waiting. 5 months only, FFS. If you genuinely want her back as a loving partner, be patient. If you're truly over her and just want a quick dopamine fix and vagina, go ahead and don't look back. Please keep us informed and good luck either way!

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No where in my posts did I say I wanted her back as a loving partner, all I said is that I had a dream of her and wanted to contact her to see if we could have some fun. Everyone is so obsessed with telling people on here not to contact your ex. If you are truly over the relationship then do as you want, if ends up with a night of fun so be it, if it ends up with no reponse at all then so be it. All I was trying to say is yes you do get over the heartache and when you do and if your ex pops back in to your head for some unknown reason then do whatever you feel like. No harm no foul. The BU didn't end badly so there are no hard feelings from either end

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No where in my posts did I say I wanted her back as a loving partner, all I said is that I had a dream of her and wanted to contact her to see if we could have some fun. Everyone is so obsessed with telling people on here not to contact your ex. If you are truly over the relationship then do as you want, if ends up with a night of fun so be it, if it ends up with no reponse at all then so be it. All I was trying to say is yes you do get over the heartache and when you do and if your ex pops back in to your head for some unknown reason then do whatever you feel like. No harm no foul. The BU didn't end badly so there are no hard feelings from either end

 

As long as you don't expect anything out of your text then go for it but make sure if you do get together you tell her straight out that you're not looking for anything other than a fun night. Have a little respect for her as well and what she wants which by the sounds of it is NC.

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We are losing perspective of this thread. If she doesn't want to respond then she won't. The thread was started to give hope to those who are down and don't see the light at the end of the tunnel that with time you will feel indifferent towards your ex. I know how it feels I was there at one point but after reading people's posts when the BU happened I realized NC was for me to move on from her which I have. We are both adults not kids so it will be up to her whether or not to respond. Geez people relax was just trying to give people something positive to look forward to

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We are losing perspective of this thread. If she doesn't want to respond then she won't. The thread was started to give hope to those who are down and don't see the light at the end of the tunnel that with time you will feel indifferent towards your ex. I know how it feels I was there at one point but after reading people's posts when the BU happened I realized NC was for me to move on from her which I have. We are both adults not kids so it will be up to her whether or not to respond. Geez people relax was just trying to give people something positive to look forward to

Fine then. As I told you before, I wasn't really judging your actions but preventing from what I know from other experiences, just in case you didn't take into account some possible consequences. Once again, I'll be happy to read the final outcome and even happier if it's on a positive note.

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We are losing perspective of this thread. If she doesn't want to respond then she won't. The thread was started to give hope to those who are down and don't see the light at the end of the tunnel that with time you will feel indifferent towards your ex. I know how it feels I was there at one point but after reading people's posts when the BU happened I realized NC was for me to move on from her which I have. We are both adults not kids so it will be up to her whether or not to respond. Geez people relax was just trying to give people something positive to look forward to

 

Yeah...I'm on board with you! I've had no strings attached sex with pretty much every single ex of mine...and ...there's been A LOT! :lmao: Hit her up and see where she's at with it..F it! ;)

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Fine then. As I told you before, I wasn't really judging your actions but preventing from what I know from other experiences, just in case you didn't take into account some possible consequences. Once again, I'll be happy to read the final outcome and even happier if it's on a positive note.

 

Please share with me what some of the possible consequences are?

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Simon Phoenix
No where in my posts did I say I wanted her back as a loving partner, all I said is that I had a dream of her and wanted to contact her to see if we could have some fun. Everyone is so obsessed with telling people on here not to contact your ex. If you are truly over the relationship then do as you want, if ends up with a night of fun so be it, if it ends up with no reponse at all then so be it. All I was trying to say is yes you do get over the heartache and when you do and if your ex pops back in to your head for some unknown reason then do whatever you feel like. No harm no foul. The BU didn't end badly so there are no hard feelings from either end

 

I think you'd be better off finding a new person to hook up with than jumping back down this rabbit hole personally. When you dig up the past, all you get is dirty. That being said, it doesn't sound like you are going to be emotionally traumatized in doing this -- if anything, you seem to be looking for the old "one-up" f--k. I don't exactly advocate such behavior, but whatever.

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Please share with me what some of the possible consequences are?

What Simon just said. Unrequited feelings getting back to you. Hurting her feelings, maybe. False hopes. But, as I'm saying in my last two posts in here, you seem enough aware of this to even deem those things as consequences. And, as I'm saying too, go ahead and tell us. I sincerely wish you the best.

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I hope this works out for you. I truly do. However, my gut tells me someone's going to get hurt.... and that someone just might be you.

 

It's all fun and games until the feelings come rushing back, and those pesky feelings are not exactly something you can always control.

 

I wish you luck though, and am interested to see what happens.

 

We all have our own lives to live, so I am by no means saying any which way is the best approach, but I just have this feeling about what's going to happen here.

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I hope this works out for you. I truly do. However, my gut tells me someone's going to get hurt.... and that someone just might be you.

 

It's all fun and games until the feelings come rushing back, and those pesky feelings are not exactly something you can always control.

 

I wish you luck though, and am interested to see what happens.

 

We all have our own lives to live, so I am by no means saying any which way is the best approach, but I just have this feeling about what's going to happen here.

 

No one will get hurt, not sure why you think that. We are both mature adults if she isn't receptive to my text then so be it. I started this thread to let those who are going through heartache know that as time passes you will become a better person for yourself. When that happens and you are indifferent to any response you get or none at all then go for it and contact your ex.

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No one will get hurt, not sure why you think that. We are both mature adults if she isn't receptive to my text then so be it. I started this thread to let those who are going through heartache know that as time passes you will become a better person for yourself. When that happens and you are indifferent to any response you get or none at all then go for it and contact your ex.

 

Mature adults aren't immune to getting hurt.

 

Also, as more time passes, you may feel indifferent, but 'feeling' indifferent and truly 'being' indifferent are two separate states.

 

Methinks if you were truly indifferent, you wouldn't feel the need to reach out to her.

 

I mean, all the people in my life I'm 'truly' indifferent about, I don't feel an urge to contact.

 

The point is, you may feel like you don't care what happens, and you might end up caring. Feelings are tricky. Five months of no contact is not that long, and I wouldn't be advocating 'hey peeps, if you feel indifferent, go for it,' because, as demonstrated by many posts here, people may think they're indifferent, and then they reach out and then reality sets in and it's only a matter of time before they start stressing about the response, non response, or whatever.

 

Furthermore, the fact that you want to hook up with her shows some desire on your part for her, so it doesn't seem like you're as over it as you think.

Edited by dyna85
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Mature adults aren't immune to getting hurt.

 

Also, as more time passes, you may feel indifferent, but 'feeling' indifferent and truly 'being' indifferent are two separate states.

 

Methinks if you were truly indifferent, you wouldn't feel the need to reach out to her.

 

I mean, all the people in my life I'm 'truly' indifferent about, I don't feel an urge to contact.

 

The point is, you may feel like you don't care what happens, and you might end up caring. Feelings are tricky. Five months of no contact is not that long, and I wouldn't be advocating 'hey peeps, if you feel indifferent, go for it,' because, as demonstrated by many posts here, people may think they're indifferent, and then they reach out and then reality sets in and it's only a matter of time before they start stressing about the response, non response, or whatever.

 

Furthermore, the fact that you want to hook up with her shows some desire on your part for her, so it doesn't seem like you're as over it as you think.

 

He's not telling others to. He's saying that he doesn't care what the outcome is,he's doing it. We all handle and deal with things differently. If he wants to reach out and feels,no matter the outcome, that he can handle it....cool.

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