Lisax3 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 It's been a week today since I broke up with my boyfriend. When we broke up he told me he didn't know what he wanted and he didn't want to hurt me. Since then we haven't spoken I haven't even had a message asking if I'm ok or anything. I'm trying to move on as much as I can but it makes me feel like I just have to completely disregard our relationship. I will never bump in to him again and I feel like I'm mourning the loss of someone. I keep hoping I will have a message off him because there was no actual "closure" to the relationship. It's literally hurting so much that I haven't heard anything. Just wondered if anyone had experienced this same situation and what was your story? Link to post Share on other sites
xinaxxsdertf Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 you dumped him so maybe he has gone into no contact? if you still love him and you think you made a mistake dumping him then maybe you have to reach out? who knows he might be waiting for you to initiate contact. i started no contact 8 days ago and my ex texted me on the 6th day saying she miss me and hope im doing okay. she dumped me so im dead set on never being the one to initiate contact. if she ever wants a chance at getting back at me then she is going to have to do all the work otherwise im moving on. You break not only someones heart but also their trust when you leave them. of course i dont know your situation and your reasons for breaking up but i personally believe it should be you initiating contact if you were the one that broke it off because the person that has been dumped sometimes wants to contact but doesnt want to be that tragic guy chasing after someone that left them because it tells them they left them because they dont want them anymore. But if you miss him and still love him but you know that breaking up is the right thing then you are going to have to let him go. you shouldnt initiate contact because thats unfair on his behalf. unless he cheated on you or you could see he stopped loving you and you had legitimate reasons for having to dump him. if you know that you broke his heart and he struggled with the break up then the ball is in your court and its up to you to do something about it. i know when i went into no contact, i checked my phone several times every day hoping there was a text from her. im still waiting for another text now too which may never come but i am so broken from her leaving me that i just cant contact her. she will have to contact me if she wants me back. maybe you need to write down what you want and whats right. hope it all works out for ya Link to post Share on other sites
Mcnulty Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Space and time Lisa. Try, as hard as it is, to focus on your immediate well being, eat properly, get plenty sleep and try to keep busy..that's for now. He may or may not get in touch, but he may be thinking you haven't contacted him either. Be careful if you lean towards contacting him, only do it if you're strong enough to deal with maybe confirmation of his decision. Maybe write a list of the pros and cons of the relationship, it helped me. Link to post Share on other sites
xinaxxsdertf Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 i just reread your post and i have the feeling that i interpreted that first line wrong? let me know if so and i will change my post because if he dumped you then that makes some of my advice irrelevant. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lisax3 Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 you dumped him so maybe he has gone into no contact? if you still love him and you think you made a mistake dumping him then maybe you have to reach out? who knows he might be waiting for you to initiate contact. i started no contact 8 days ago and my ex texted me on the 6th day saying she miss me and hope im doing okay. she dumped me so im dead set on never being the one to initiate contact. if she ever wants a chance at getting back at me then she is going to have to do all the work otherwise im moving on. You break not only someones heart but also their trust when you leave them. of course i dont know your situation and your reasons for breaking up but i personally believe it should be you initiating contact if you were the one that broke it off because the person that has been dumped sometimes wants to contact but doesnt want to be that tragic guy chasing after someone that left them because it tells them they left them because they dont want them anymore. But if you miss him and still love him but you know that breaking up is the right thing then you are going to have to let him go. you shouldnt initiate contact because thats unfair on his behalf. unless he cheated on you or you could see he stopped loving you and you had legitimate reasons for having to dump him. if you know that you broke his heart and he struggled with the break up then the ball is in your court and its up to you to do something about it. i know when i went into no contact, i checked my phone several times every day hoping there was a text from her. im still waiting for another text now too which may never come but i am so broken from her leaving me that i just cant contact her. she will have to contact me if she wants me back. maybe you need to write down what you want and whats right. hope it all works out for ya Thanks for your reply.. I do still love him so much and I'm missing him .. But I just can't reach out.. I felt like he didn't love me any more and times of we would argue or what ever Id be the one running back.. He ignored me for 3 days last week and Id just had enough he said he was stressed but he never really opened up to me.. When I finished with him last Sunday he said he doesn't know what he wants anymore and he didn't want to hurt me.. I had no other reason but to finish with him I was acting needy and that's just not me.. He is stubborn so I don't know whether he's waiting for me to contact him which I don't think I should do. It's making me think the whole relationship was a lie ? I hope thinks work out for you maybe if you reach out to her and let her know how your feeling? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lisax3 Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 McNulty Thanks for your reply.. I act strong when I'm with my friends and soon as I'm alone it just all builds up! Link to post Share on other sites
xinaxxsdertf Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 McNulty Thanks for your reply.. I act strong when I'm with my friends and soon as I'm alone it just all builds up! then theres your answer lisa. you have to try keep your days busy and plan ahead. its just something that helps time pass by. i also noticed that doing things with friends all the time and being busy all the time creates tiredness and makes your days feel more full. i usually enjoy having lazy days because of work but i had such a good week last week hanging with friends every day, playing sports and just being anywhere except home. im not usually one to do that so it was different and i felt like life was more full on. i will admit it gets tough in the mornings for me, night times use to be tough but as each day goes by, i manage to fall asleep easier especially because im so tired now from always being busy. i think in this situation you need to stay in NC. he needs time to figure out what he wants so if you set yourself maybe a month of no contact and go out and have fun during this time, it will give him space to figure out what he wants. when you are use to being with someone all the time 24/7 and they all of a sudden disappear completely out of your life, the heart cant help but feel pain (exactly how you are feeling now). But he obviously needs space because you cant be with someone who isnt sure what he wants. you can always contact him when you feel that you are healed. but you have to be in the state of being happy with your life. you cant initiate contact and have him tell you that he doesnt love you anymore then you breakdown. you have to be ready to hear the worst news possible and still be okay with it. So think to yourself, if he tells you he cannot be with you ever again and thats going to rebreak your heart then you obviously arent ready. use this time to gain your strength back and find other things that can make you happy without him so when you are ready to talk to him again you have nothing to lose if you guys dont work out anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lisax3 Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 Your right.. I'm an air hostess anyway so it lets me get away from the country for a few days and forgef about everything. Thanks for your replies and I hope everything works out for you! Link to post Share on other sites
xinaxxsdertf Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 Your right.. I'm an air hostess anyway so it lets me get away from the country for a few days and forgef about everything. Thanks for your replies and I hope everything works out for you! thats a really cool occupation! hang in there. whats meant to be, will be good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts