bohica Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 Yes I'm back... I dated this girl for a few weeks. Nothing serious but we saw each other once a week. We didn't reach that relationship phase and I'm not even 100% sure we exclusive. Things were going really well, I think we were really compatible, we had a lot of fun and have great chemistry. There is a big age difference and we aren't exactly on the same playing field socially but I don't think I should judge that to soon. I sensed she was losing interest and after about 10 days or so of feeling that I told her we shouldn't see each other anymore. I regret not having more patience and breaking it off. I think I panicked and felt a little insecure about it and she saw that but I also think my instincts were right. It's been over a week of no contact. I miss her and would love very much to keep the door open with her and to see her once in a while Any advise on how to go about doing that? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 You can try calling her & telling her you made a mistake. Ask her to forgive you. Problem is, that admission shows that you are someone who doesn't know their own mind and can't make a decision. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted February 23, 2015 Author Share Posted February 23, 2015 You can try calling her & telling her you made a mistake. Ask her to forgive you. Problem is, that admission shows that you are someone who doesn't know their own mind and can't make a decision. Ya, that's a tricky way to go about it. I don't think I need forgiveness for anything and I'm not sure I made a mistake of any kind. Must be a different approach. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 Ya, that's a tricky way to go about it. I don't think I need forgiveness for anything and I'm not sure I made a mistake of any kind. Must be a different approach. You told her that you didn't want to see her any more. Now you are saying you want her back. How is that about face anything other than an admission that you were wrong? By dumping her you also hurt her feelings. When you hurt somebody's feelings you apologize. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted February 23, 2015 Author Share Posted February 23, 2015 (edited) You told her that you didn't want to see her any more. Now you are saying you want her back. How is that about face anything other than an admission that you were wrong? By dumping her you also hurt her feelings. When you hurt somebody's feelings you apologize. I see. I misunderstood. My reason for not wanting to date her in my opinion was warranted so in that regards I don't think I was wrong. I would just like to be able to go to her in a way that says I like you and would like to see you again because I enjoyed your company. I want to do it in a way that doesn't compromise my dignity, doesn't make me look desperate or doesn't make me feel foolish. I understand I risk rejection regardless of how I do it. Just looking for the right approach, maybe the right words. I also want to separate myself from what others may do or say. The truth of the matter is I think I know exactly what she would like but it's really putting myself out there. Showing up at her door with flowers, I think, is over the top but she would love the romantic gesture.... Edited February 23, 2015 by bohica Link to post Share on other sites
KBarletta Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 It doesn't sound like the relationship got too serious, so I think it makes sense to follow d0nnivain's advice. Call her up, tell her you miss her and you want to see her again. No reason to make it more complicated than it needs to be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted February 23, 2015 Author Share Posted February 23, 2015 (edited) It doesn't sound like the relationship got too serious, so I think it makes sense to follow d0nnivain's advice. Call her up, tell her you miss her and you want to see her again. No reason to make it more complicated than it needs to be. I have to admit. I'm really nervous about that. I guess there is no other way other then in person. Either way. Nervous like a teenager and I'm a 46 yr old man. Edited February 23, 2015 by bohica Link to post Share on other sites
KBarletta Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 I have to admit. I'm really nervous about that. I guess there is no other way other then in person. Either way. Nervous like a teenager and I'm a 46 yr old man. In that case, it's probably better to do it over the phone than in person if you're nervous. She will be able to tell if you're that nervous in person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted February 23, 2015 Author Share Posted February 23, 2015 (edited) In that case, it's probably better to do it over the phone than in person if you're nervous. She will be able to tell if you're that nervous in person. Personally, I'd rather look her in the eye and tell her. I think that takes more courage. face to face or not...rejection is rejection. No? Any women want to weigh in on this? Would you prefer a guy to speak his mind in person or call you? Bring you flowers or deliver them ? Is any one better? Edited February 23, 2015 by bohica Link to post Share on other sites
The Poster Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 I have to admit. I'm really nervous about that. I guess there is no other way other then in person. Either way. Nervous like a teenager and I'm a 46 yr old man. Being nervous is understandable, but if you really want it, you have to take the leap. What have you got to lose? Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Any women want to weigh in on this? Would you prefer a guy to speak his mind in person or call you? Bring you flowers or deliver them ? Is any one better? I wasn't going to comment on this, because I think it's ridiculous to try and re-date someone you already sensed was already losing interest after such a short period of dating. You broke up for a REASON. You might spike her interest temporarily with the drama of breaking up and then asking for another chance -- it's definitely going to stroke her ego! -- but if she wasn't that into you before, it's only a matter of time before you start getting the same feeling again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted February 24, 2015 Author Share Posted February 24, 2015 (edited) I wasn't going to comment on this, because I think it's ridiculous to try and re-date someone you already sensed was already losing interest after such a short period of dating. You broke up for a REASON. You might spike her interest temporarily with the drama of breaking up and then asking for another chance -- it's definitely going to stroke her ego! -- but if she wasn't that into you before, it's only a matter of time before you start getting the same feeling again. I think that sounds negative. You might be right but life is about taking chances sometimes. The odds are against me and I understand the risk. I am not here to weigh risk. Life isn't always a let down. Sometimes people will surprise you. Maybe she is thinking the same things I am. Someone close to me pointed out that maybe it was me who did something wrong. That we don't know each other well enough and that maybe something in her past is effecting her. Something I did or said could have been so innocent but in communication it isn't always the intended message but how's it's received that matters. She, an older women, suggested that life is about taking chances and that I should do something to show her how I feel. Edited February 24, 2015 by bohica Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted March 3, 2015 Author Share Posted March 3, 2015 (edited) Almost two weeks of no contact. I just sent her a text. A joke.... What did the blank say to the blank.... Much to my surprise she responded. I told her the punch line and she got back saying how funny it was. I know this sounds like teenage stuff here. I don't know what this means or how to respond, what to say.... This sounds so stupid. lol If this is a window of any kind being cracked open I don't want to mess it up... Edited March 3, 2015 by bohica Link to post Share on other sites
lil hoodlum Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I think you are right about a window being opened. Most likely to the friendzone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted March 4, 2015 Author Share Posted March 4, 2015 (edited) I think you are right about a window being opened. Most likely to the friendzone. He laughs..... Its possible. Yes. Excellent observation. Very poor response. Its obvious that's one thing it can mean. I said I don't know what to else to say or Or what to do. Edited March 4, 2015 by bohica Link to post Share on other sites
Van Norden Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 I hope you don't get offended by someone half your age commenting this, but I just think you have to MAN UP. Texting jokes will most likely doom you to the friendzone, while she needs to be attracted by DECISION and SELF-CONFIDENCE, something you don't seem to show. Stop thinking and give her a call. Don't directly apologize, but let her know how you care about her and how your problems can be solved with communication. Let us know your progress and hope my advice is helpful to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 I agree with Van Norden. You either have to sh*t or get off the pot. From what I've read about you and this woman before it seems like you are chasing your own tail, but since you are driven to do this, you need to be assertive and direct. Save the cuteness for if you get a date. If she says no, is evasive, or doesn't respond, then take this as a loss and back off. Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 And...finish the joke! I want to know what the blank said to the blank! Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted March 9, 2015 Author Share Posted March 9, 2015 And...finish the joke! I want to know what the blank said to the blank! Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man? A: Jeeze, how the hell do you breath out of that thing! Always gets a laugh.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted March 9, 2015 Author Share Posted March 9, 2015 (edited) So it's been a while and I haven't made any contact with her at all. Saturday, she posted a nice comment on my facebook page in response to a project I did with a mutual friends son. I was surprised she commented. Didn't think it meant anything really. I felt afterwards that most of the feedback I've gotten over the weeks have, for the most part, made sense. Friends and people here have said that I need to just call her and stop thinking about it too much. I called her yesterday. Not to talk about anything or to bring up the past. I just wanted to say that I felt I made a mistake by breaking it off with her and that I wanted to continue getting to know her. She answered the phone and I did sense a little enthusiasm. She told me she was at her moms house and she couldn't talk at that moment. She asked if she could call me back a little later. She said she was making food and had her hands full and messy. She never called. Did she want to send a strong message? Well fine, but why would you answer the phone in the first place? She knew it was me calling. Some people say have patience maybe she needs to process it. Some say shes sending a message. Some say she might have just got caught up. Some say if it meant anything to her at all she would have taken a moment to call back..It's kind of crazy. I think a guy just would not have picked up the phone at all. I'm way done with this now but I just don't get that. Also, if she does eventually get back to me in some way. Just ignore her ? Don't answer, delete or other? Edited March 9, 2015 by bohica Link to post Share on other sites
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