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Crazy story ... did i do the right thing


hopeless hope

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hopeless hope

Here is my story... dated girl for 2/ half years I ended it.... but we were together on/off until nov... she then calls me and tells me she is going to date someone else... she was pissed bc she wanted to be in a relationship....she wanted to remain friends... i was hesitant but ok.... during this time we spoke constantly.... she had me over her place a couple times and were intimate ..... told me she loves and misses me and this guy is boring ... but then would say no he is perfect... finally I said look lets start again let me take you out on a proper date... she said she was not looking to run back into what broke her so many times before.....so i have been in nc for 20 days.... i said we were soulmates to her before i walked away and she agreed.

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Which part are you asking about?

1. Breaking her heart & leaving her?

2. Sleeping with her with no commitment?

3. Walking away when she told you to?

4. Holding NC for 20 days?

 

You didn't express very clearly how you felt about her at any stage (or did I miss that?)

 

I'm intuiting here! Ummmm

 

Could you honestly imagine a lifetime with her?

 

I could be wrong but you think NO or at best, oh maybe. There's your direction.

 

LH

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hopeless hope

the nc... is what am asking? I guess like i do love her... I always did. Is this a rebound dude? Not trying to be a douche but I am better looking... she never told me to walk away...I would have at least like to tried again

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OP are you sure you are not just reacting to the loss of your plaything, coz to me thats exactly how you treated her. You know, like how little kids will have a toy they don't like anymore and hardly ever play with, but let some other kid pick it up and suddenly that discarded toy becomes shiny and brand new. Don't be that guy!

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Well, she's with another guy, and just called him "perfect". She rejected your offer on a date. She said she doesn't wanna get heart broken again.

 

Let her do her thing with the new guy, and let the universe decide. It's out of your control. You can't do the, "I'll do anything to get you back" routine, because that pushes her away.

 

Your best recourse is to just go NC, and most likely, she'll eventually contact you, and then you go from there. But in the meantime, try to move on, so you don't have to play mind games with yourself.

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i think she said that to be mean..... and your right she is playing games... its hard but nc is what am doing

 

No one said she's playing games. The word "games" was mentioned in relation to your mind games.

 

Like every human being on the planet, she's doing what she thinks is best for herself. You've proven yourself unreliable and a source of pain to her, so she's looking for someone who treats her better.

 

Just because you come back doesn't mean she should automatically trust you. She doesn't owe you that. Trust is earned, and you've proven that you are not to be trusted. And the timing of your declaration is more of a red flag than anything; she knows you probably only want her because she's with someone else now.

 

It may be your grief talking, but you come off as pretty self-centered in your views of her and her actions. Even your interpretation of other replies to you seem to err on the side of her being at fault. You seem to not understand that your actions have consequences. Her choosing someone else is a consequence of how you have historically chosen to treat her.

 

It's something you can work on about yourself. Work on developing empathy, and an ability to see others' actions as they are (things that make sense to that person as beneficial to them) instead of assuming that the main motivation is to have an impact on you.

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AlexfromBoston
Here is my story... dated girl for 2/ half years I ended it.... but we were together on/off until nov... she then calls me and tells me she is going to date someone else... she was pissed bc she wanted to be in a relationship....she wanted to remain friends... i was hesitant but ok.... during this time we spoke constantly.... she had me over her place a couple times and were intimate ..... told me she loves and misses me and this guy is boring ... but then would say no he is perfect... finally I said look lets start again let me take you out on a proper date... she said she was not looking to run back into what broke her so many times before.....so i have been in nc for 20 days.... i said we were soulmates to her before i walked away and she agreed.

 

Personally buddy, I think the whole "soulmate" schtick is garbage. We are all just a lump of perfectly formed molecules whom happen to traverse through life with no set course. There are no rails or tracks that help us to get from point A to point B. We essentially grow, explore, meet people, procreate and die....with a whole bunch of drama and nonsense scattered in between. Your ex isn't your soulmate. If she truly was, you wouldn't be in this predicament you're in now...right? You need to take her off the pedestal and start exploring other options. There is a whole sea of beautiful, smart, talented women in this world who are a much better fit than your ex. So in summation, you're doing the wrong thing. You need to back off until you can both decide what you truly want. In the interim, start having fun and meet other women.

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Personally buddy, I think the whole "soulmate" schtick is garbage. We are all just a lump of perfectly formed molecules whom happen to traverse through life with no set course. There are no rails or tracks that help us to get from point A to point B. We essentially grow, explore, meet people, procreate and die....with a whole bunch of drama and nonsense scattered in between. Your ex isn't your soulmate. If she truly was, you wouldn't be in this predicament you're in now...right? You need to take her off the pedestal and start exploring other options. There is a whole sea of beautiful, smart, talented women in this world who are a much better fit than your ex. So in summation, you're doing the wrong thing. You need to back off until you can both decide what you truly want. In the interim, start having fun and meet other women.

 

Yep, whenever I hear that I cringe. I would never tell someone that and I never want to hear it again.

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kinda weird so ex favorited my stuff on twitter the other day and then the other day liked a bunch of my stuff on fb and then put out on fb how she is in a new relationship.... kinda confused bc the stuff she liked isnt new its like a week old .... obvi actions speak louder than words but i guess it seem a little off

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kinda weird so ex favorited my stuff on twitter the other day and then the other day liked a bunch of my stuff on fb and then put out on fb how she is in a new relationship.... kinda confused bc the stuff she liked isnt new its like a week old .... obvi actions speak louder than words but i guess it seem a little off

 

If you are keeping NC, how do you know what she's posting?

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