Roses777 Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 My ex gf and I were together for over 4 years and we're even engaged. We broke up around this time last year. I missed her tons and she dated a different guy for a month that didn't last. Then we reconciled briefly, she dated another guy for a week or two and came back. This is the very truncated version as I am on my cell. She came back in mid a October saying that she was missing me. We got sexual fast and in the last 1-2 weeks she was talking about living together again and it would have to be font own, etc. Then she also mentioned that she wasn't sure if she wanted kids or not aloud to me. She also said that 'if we do get married. ..' Fast forward to last Sat when she went to a girl - friend's party. I suspected that it would cause a shift and it did. She started saying that she wanted to be alone and have time to herself. This was very weird so I installed POF and she wasn't there. I relaxed until I checked and saw her there, wanting kids and seeking a relationship! None of this has been told to me. I asked her if we could hang out Saturday evening so I was hoping to discuss things then. What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Ieris Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 She doesn't even know what she wants so cut her off. She is just stringing you along until she finds someone better but the truth is you should go find someone better! Don't ever let anyone treat you like that, have some self respect and walk away. If it was me, I wouldn't even give them the chance to explain themselves. Actions speak louder than words... Just look at how she behaving. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Like Ieris has said, actions speak louder than words and her actions are very very obvious, she has no idea what the heck she wants, but she has made it clear that it is not you in the long run. She knows now that you will be her safety net because you pick her up every time she gets done with the next guy. Do you really truly think you want to be with a person like this, that does this to you and doesn't want you? My advice is to cancel Saturday night. Just text her and say you've had a change of heart and are not interested in any further contact with her. Go NC right away and be ready because she will respond again. It's not going to be easy but it has to be done. This is obviously, based on what you have said, the best thing FOR YOU. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Roses777 Posted December 19, 2014 Author Share Posted December 19, 2014 I am trying to move on but since we have a 4-5 year history, it's tough. She hasn't removed me from Facebook and we are staying in contact over text. The oddest thing is that she wanted kids+me to move in+talking about marriage all within a matter of days. Long term she has insisted on NEVER having kids, NEVER getting back together with me, NEVER seeing me again and then I have seen her come back twice now and become sexual. She is 30 and almost 31, so it's getting harder for her to make new friends (she has very few) and meet new people outside of a sketchy online dating website. I could go NC but I believe I have far greater value and have nothing to worry about. She would miss out on a great guy and husband if she moved on and her coming back multiple times shows that much to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Light Breeze Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 I could go NC but I believe I have far greater value and have nothing to worry about. She would miss out on a great guy and husband if she moved on and her coming back multiple times shows that much to me. Like the others said, you are the PLAN B because you are always there for her. But,Imagine when she finds someone better or greater than you in her mind (that's very possible) then where will you be? If you stay in contact with her you're not going to heal and be always in danger of being hurt by her actions. Furthermore, IMO being in NC with her would force her to see your true worth and it may possibly upgrade your status from Plan B to A. Then again, this may not happen but at least you're going to be healed, become stronger, more wiser, and much ready for someone out there who would stay for you. Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Remove from Facebook and delete her from your phone. Don't say anything just do it, right now. Show yourself and her that you're not an option. You're the entree. She keeps coming back because you let her and every time she gets over you more and loses respect for you. There is more going on here than you think. Be powerful, command respect for yourself in the face of games. Do the right thing for your own healing and damn all the naysayers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Roses777 Posted December 20, 2014 Author Share Posted December 20, 2014 Got a little more information. It sounds more complicated than that: We texted tonight and she says that she likes me as a friend BUT likes the intimacy too. However, she claims she doesn't love me no matter how much she has tried to love me in the past. Then I probed further, which is what my future job is all about, and she says that she is concerned about having my videogame collection in a shared apartment with her. Remember that she only just suggested we get a place together and was talking about marriage and children like 1-2 weeks ago. So I thanked her for telling me and I suggested that she can tell me everything tomorrow night after work. Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 Stop talking to her. Link to post Share on other sites
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