lostintranslation1 Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 I'll keep this succinct and to the point. IT seems long but the info is necessary. Please, your honest and thoughtful responses. im hurting. Im 28 year old guy. Shes 25 year old female. we went out for 2.5 years and broke up 5 months ago. the last year was long distance where we only saw each other 40 days out of the whole year, but we talked every day (due to my job). The reason we broke up was because i took on a new job somewhere else once again much closer to her home and wanted to try long distance again and then talk about her moving in later on... but she wanted to move in with me right away. she took my hesitation and delaying the convo as a sign i wasnt serious, but after 2 years at this point i cant see how she didnt think i loved her. We talked every day, I sent flowers to her work, bought her gifts, talked, texted, you name it.. the only thing is that i wasnt able to always be there for her. So, before i made my second move to my new job, i visited her and things were rocky. i felt she was pulling away for the last 2 months prior to my visit but we tried to make it work... i discovered during my visit that she had been occasionally messaging her old ex bf (the one before me) to go for drives and chat, etc... i had no prior knowledge that they were talking on the phone/hanging out. he was in another relationship though. I asked her about it, she lied and denied him, then deleted the text messages. I was heartbroken inside but didnt have the balls to confront her about it as i was there visiting her to try to preserve the relationship before i moved to my new job. I believe she lied out of fear i would overreact. my friends have told me that is not an excuse for her to lie to me...but i truly feel she was just afraid I went to my new job... and we fought within a week of my arrival to the new city. We broke up- there was crying on her end, she cursed at me saying i wasnt committed, etc... 6 weeks went by, i called her asking to reconcile. she said she was happier without me and that although she loved and missed me, she did not think we were meant to be. I hung up the phone depressed. I immediately thought of the lies and the fact that she was messaging her ex bf behind my back (even if it was to be friends, but who knows if she had other ideas). So i called her again 2 days later, told her i couldnt believe she lied to me, told her i'll never look at her the same way again, that ive lost respect for her... she cried, yelled and told me they were just friends and told me to never call her again and have a nice life before she hung up on me. I delted her from FB. 4 weeks after that she was in a new relationship with another guy. This was 5 months ago now. WE have not spoken since that day in July 2014. SO im sitting here today, thinking that maybe me yelling at her 2 days after she told me we werent meant to be killed any chance of her looking back at me with positive memories in hoping we reconcile and get back together. A piece of me says let her be...the other piece, my heart, for the last 5 months still longs for her. I believe she thinks Im a jerk for going through her phone while visiting, then calling her back 5 weeks after we breakup to get back together, only for me to tell her off 2 days after that...but i was just too hurt to keep going without letting it off my chest. How do i get her back? afterall, she is seeing someone else and im in a new city and we havent spoken in 5 months... but we had a very deep love for each other in my opinion (And no im not being overly emotional). Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 You don't get her back. She wanted a guy who was there Your job keeps you elsewhere. She has now checked out of the relationship mentally & physically. You have to let her go. But for the distance, which she couldn't handle, You seem to have done everything right. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostintranslation1 Posted December 16, 2014 Author Share Posted December 16, 2014 I guess my problem is that I felt guilty that i never gave her commmitment and made her wait so long for it... but at the same time she was impatient. I can understand that i was moving away yet again, but I never stopped in my love for her.. and now to see her with another man, after hinting to me for an engagement ring for so long... its just so confusing. Link to post Share on other sites
Purepony Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 Think back.. this was doomed from the beginning because your both on different time zones. I've been there so you think you can make it work but she cant Link to post Share on other sites
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