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Moved to another country


toffeecream77

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toffeecream77

The post on this forum provides some good advice on NC [ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/470829-all-new-2014-no-contact-guide ] . This is the same approach that got an ex back years ago - altho it was never my intention. NC was to heal and move on. As soon as I properly moved on (3-4 months), my ex started talking to me and we even went out a few times. But I did not give him much attention, I basically couldn't care if he was there with me or not, and I gave very short replies to text messages etc. This seemed to work. The most important elements are to really start to move on: go on trips, plan your future, have experiences. These help you to regain yourself, be happier in yourself and realise that life can still be great without your ex. This pulls the power back into your hands. I genuinely didn't think we'd get back together and we did - for around a year. I just wanted to share my experience and say it can work.

 

With my current ex, things are more difficult. I have moved to another country. He may end up here in less than a year, but it's by no means certain. We broke up because he felt the move was too much of a big commitment for him right now and that he needed to concentrate on his own life. I explained that moving here would help his career etc. I was a *very* good girlfriend. I guess he lost his feelings.

 

As we were breaking up (it dragged on for 6 weeks) he did keep voicing his concerns that he would regret - but that seems to be initial guilty dumpers feel, right? I guess my other question is: do the instructions in this sticky change when one moves to another country? Makes things a bit more final, no?

 

Of course I won't wait that long, 9 months for a possible reconciliation. I'm not even waiting now, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping to receive an email or call saying he made a mistake.

 

Just some thoughts.

Edited by toffeecream77
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Are you looking to get back together with the person or not?

 

Some people think 2 months is too long, some people get back together after 14 years. The chances really depend on you and what you decide to do.

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I don't ever set deadlines like that. If it's meant to be, your paths will cross again.. things don't have to happen "now" if you know what I mean.

 

I hope you get what you want though, fingers x :)

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toffeecream77

Thanks for your comments guys. I am not sure if I really want to get back together with him. Looking back, he wasn't fulfilling my needs. If anything, I had grounds to dump him! But I do miss him and wonder if he thinks about me.

 

I don't think he will come back. He doesn't have the drive or balls to do anything in life.

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